Guest ♦ 2nd May 2021 ♦ 3 Comments
This post from James started out as private correspondence (which I, Barb, was privy to) between James and a mutual friend of ours. It focussed on “Power corrupts”, what gets corrupted and how. When politicians and pastors exercise extreme control, they use their authority to mislead, coerce, micro-manage and oppress people. In this post, James …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 6th November 2020 ♦ 18 Comments
The translation and application of Malachi 2:16 is very significant when dealing with domestic abuse. I have published a paper Malachi 2:16, ancient versions and English translations, and how they apply to domestic abuse. The paper examines and compares the ancient textual witnesses to that verse, how the verse has been variously translated into English, …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 20th August 2020 ♦ 3 Comments
Here are tips and encouragement for sheep who are stepping forward as shepherds. God’s word urges us to grow into maturity in Christ: ….until we every one (in the unity of faith and the knowledge of the Son of God) grow up to be perfect in the maturity of the fullness of Christ; so that …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 28th May 2020 ♦ 47 Comments
Discerning good leaders from incompetent / bad leaders is vital in these perilous times. This is Part 2 of a 3-part series. Part 1 Part 3 In Part 1, I set out some basic differences between good leaders (true under-shepherds) and hirelings. Sooner or later, hirelings will abandon the sheep to the wolves. All true …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 18th May 2020 ♦ 62 Comments
Society and especially the churches are in perilous times. Therefore it’s imperative to discern the difference between shepherds and wolves. There are three types of people in the church, as there are elsewhere. That’s a generalisation, but it can help us understand life. In Christian terms, those three types are Sheep, Shepherds and Wolves. This …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 18th April 2020 ♦ 17 Comments
Have you been told to submit to church elders? Have you heard the ‘rule’ that we must obey church leaders? What is the basis for this ‘rule’ that you, as a professing Christian, must (must) obey church elders? Definition of terms…so we all start on the same page. I will be using the term ‘elders’ …
The definition of abuse: A pattern of coercive control (ongoing actions or inactions) that proceeds from a mentality of entitlement to power, whereby, through intimidation, manipulation and isolation, the abuser keeps his* target subordinated and under his control. This pattern can be emotional, verbal, psychological, spiritual, sexual, financial, social and physical. Not all these elements need be present, e.g., physical abuse may not be part of it.
The definition of domestic abuser: a family member or dating partner (current or ex) who has a profound mentality of entitlement to the possession of power and control over the one s/he* chooses to mistreat. This mentality of entitlement defines the very essence of the abuser. The abuser believes he is justified in using evil tactics to obtain and maintain that power and control.
* Sometimes the genders are reversed—see our tag for 'male survivors' (tags tab in the top menu).
To say that abusers cannot change removes responsibility for sin. They can change, but the vast majority choose not to, which is what the experts state. When God punishes them, their punishment is just. Abusers have options for treatment and are accountable.
Once the marriage covenant is broken through abuse, the abused partner does not need to stay in the marriage waiting for the abuser to change. The abuser's recovery is a separate issue and his change is his own responsibility, not his wife's. This is the mistake most churches make. These churches have over-sentimentalized marriage and are legalists.
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