Barbara Roberts ♦ 9th September 2019 ♦ 29 Comments
If thou hatest her, put her away, saith the Lord God of Israel, and give her a clothing for the scorn, saith the Lord of hosts. Look well then to your spirit, and despise her not. — Malachi 2:16 in the Matthew Bible, published in 1537. Compare that with the 1599 Geneva Bible: If thou …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 17th June 2019 ♦ 28 Comments
Some people claim we can cut through the knotty DIVORCE scriptures by simply differentiating words and their meanings. Their argument goes like this: (i) The Hebrew word shalach and the Greek word apoluo should be translated ‘put away’. Both of those words are used for the husband orally dismissing and sending away his wife without …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 25th May 2018 ♦ 21 Comments
Now have ye brought it to this point again, that the altar of the Lord is covered with tears, weeping, and mourning: so that I will no more regard the meat offering, neither will I receive nor accept anything at your hands. And yet ye say, wherefore [why]? Even because that whereas the Lord made …
Jeff Crippen ♦ 11th September 2017 ♦ 36 Comments
Recently we have been watching the reality series “Life Below Zero.” One of the couples featured in the episodes is a clear example of an abuser and victim — Andy (abuser) and Kate (victim). If you want to see an abuser in action, just tune in and watch. Kate was in denial in earlier episodes …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 9th December 2016 ♦ 19 Comments
Click here for Part 1 of this two-part series To most outsiders, the person who leaves the marriage looks like the deserter. If a victim of domestic abuse leaves their abusive partner or in some other way declares the marriage over, and (as is so often the case) the abuser effectively manipulates the perceptions and opinions of the …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 24th August 2016 ♦ 10 Comments
Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished. Therefore whoever relaxes …
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The definition of abuse: A pattern of coercive control (ongoing actions or inactions) that proceeds from a mentality of entitlement to power, whereby, through intimidation, manipulation and isolation, the abuser keeps his* target subordinated and under his control. This pattern can be emotional, verbal, psychological, spiritual, sexual, financial, social and physical. Not all these elements need be present, e.g., physical abuse may not be part of it.
The definition of domestic abuser: a family member or dating partner (current or ex) who has a profound mentality of entitlement to the possession of power and control over the one s/he* chooses to mistreat. This mentality of entitlement defines the very essence of the abuser. The abuser believes he is justified in using evil tactics to obtain and maintain that power and control.
* Sometimes the genders are reversed—see our tag for 'male survivors' (tags tab in the top menu).
To say that abusers cannot change removes responsibility for sin. They can change, but the vast majority choose not to, which is what the experts state. When God punishes them, their punishment is just. Abusers have options for treatment and are accountable.
Once the marriage covenant is broken through abuse, the abused partner does not need to stay in the marriage waiting for the abuser to change. The abuser's recovery is a separate issue and his change is his own responsibility, not his wife's. This is the mistake most churches make. These churches have over-sentimentalized marriage and are legalists.
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