Barbara Roberts ♦ 18th March 2020 ♦ 16 Comments
If someone is diagnosed with a ‘personality disorder’ or a ‘mental health disorder’ – does that mean that person has a deficit? Does it mean that person is deficient? Should that person be excused? Should that person be given compassionate help and assistance? Mental health professionals use terms like ‘disorder’ and ‘personality disorder’ very inconsistently. …
Guest ♦ 7th March 2020 ♦ 78 Comments
Guest post by James Many ‘ordinary’ people can go from calm to angry very quickly given the right circumstances. But only those with personality disorders (psychopaths etc) can go from anger to calm in an instant. It is a huge ‘tell-tale’. [Update — James has clarified this even more: Going from anger to charming in …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 2nd February 2020 ♦ 15 Comments
Evildoers lurk to snatch the poor, seizing and ravishing the people they target. Wolves hunt to catch sheep. Let me show you some words and passages from the Bible which say this. I first published this post at The Mystery Of Iniquity (my blog which deals with extreme abuse) but the post is equally relevant …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 7th August 2019 ♦ 2 Comments
Trigger warning. She was tripping along the woodland path, picking flowers. What a beautiful yellow flower! Its warm yellow color reminds me of how God forgives us for our sins, and how we are to forgive others! I’ll pick it for Grandma. And what lovely pink flowers! Look at how they grow in clumps, and …
Guest ♦ 31st July 2019 ♦ 33 Comments
Male abuse is based on sexual entitlement, says relationship counselor Don Hennessy, and every abused woman senses this. We must take focus from the woman and put it onto the abuser, challenging his attitudes on sex. It is his responsibility to seek permission, not hers to refuse (or allow). The Bible itself condemns men’s sexual …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 29th July 2019
Originally posted on A Cry For Justice:
Telling the truth is central to Christianity. In the lead-up to my conversion, God pricked me multiple times about how I was a liar and I had to stop doing it. Buckling on the belt of truth is the first step in donning the armor of God. If we don’t put on truth, the rest…
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The definition of abuse: A pattern of coercive control (ongoing actions or inactions) that proceeds from a mentality of entitlement to power, whereby, through intimidation, manipulation and isolation, the abuser keeps his* target subordinated and under his control. This pattern can be emotional, verbal, psychological, spiritual, sexual, financial, social and physical. Not all these elements need be present, e.g., physical abuse may not be part of it.
The definition of domestic abuser: a family member or dating partner (current or ex) who has a profound mentality of entitlement to the possession of power and control over the one s/he* chooses to mistreat. This mentality of entitlement defines the very essence of the abuser. The abuser believes he is justified in using evil tactics to obtain and maintain that power and control.
* Sometimes the genders are reversed—see our tag for 'male survivors' (tags tab in the top menu).
To say that abusers cannot change removes responsibility for sin. They can change, but the vast majority choose not to, which is what the experts state. When God punishes them, their punishment is just. Abusers have options for treatment and are accountable.
Once the marriage covenant is broken through abuse, the abused partner does not need to stay in the marriage waiting for the abuser to change. The abuser's recovery is a separate issue and his change is his own responsibility, not his wife's. This is the mistake most churches make. These churches have over-sentimentalized marriage and are legalists.
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