Barbara Roberts ♦ 10th December 2018 ♦ 18 Comments
[May 4, 2022: There have been some changes made to this post. For more information, read the Editors’ notes at the bottom of the post. Editors.] The Bible says the purpose of marriage is: the mutual help of husband and wife (Gen 2:18), the preventing of uncleanness (1 Cor 7:2,9), the increase of mankind with …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 20th September 2018 ♦ 54 Comments
UPDATE Sept 2021: I have come to believe that Jeff Crippen does not practise what he preaches. He vilely persecuted an abuse victim and spiritually abused many other people in the Tillamook congregation. Go here to read the evidence. Jeff has not gone to the people that he spiritually and emotionally abused. He has not apologised to them, …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 18th September 2018 ♦ 9 Comments
Many people talk about marriage as if it is a gospel ordinance and they use Ephesians 5 to back up that idea. But marriage happens in many frameworks all across humanity. Even Satanists have marriage ceremonies! People who claim that marriage is a gospel ordinance fail to notice how Paul applies Ephesians 5 solely and …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 16th August 2018 ♦ 10 Comments
[April 10, 2022: There have been some changes made to this post. For more information, read the Editors’ notes at the bottom of the post. Editors.] Chris Moles believes that an unregenerate person has the ability to choose of their own free will to follow Christ. But the Bible teaches that no person has the ability, …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 12th August 2018 ♦ 5 Comments
Faith is not man’s opinion and dream, as some imagine, and form their own ideas when they hear the story of the gospel. The cause is that when they hear the gospel or glad tidings, they fashion by their own strength certain imaginations and thoughts in their hearts, saying, I have heard the gospel; I …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 7th June 2018 ♦ 9 Comments
[June 13, 2022: There have been some changes made to this post. For more information, read the Editors’ notes at the bottom of the post. Editors.] I am learning Who Jesus is on a personal Christian – not “C”hristian – basis. I am still missing the heart connection, trying to get past the non-stop force-feeding …
The definition of abuse: A pattern of coercive control (ongoing actions or inactions) that proceeds from a mentality of entitlement to power, whereby, through intimidation, manipulation and isolation, the abuser keeps his* target subordinated and under his control. This pattern can be emotional, verbal, psychological, spiritual, sexual, financial, social and physical. Not all these elements need be present, e.g., physical abuse may not be part of it.
The definition of domestic abuser: a family member or dating partner (current or ex) who has a profound mentality of entitlement to the possession of power and control over the one s/he* chooses to mistreat. This mentality of entitlement defines the very essence of the abuser. The abuser believes he is justified in using evil tactics to obtain and maintain that power and control.
* Sometimes the genders are reversed—see our tag for 'male survivors' (tags tab in the top menu).
To say that abusers cannot change removes responsibility for sin. They can change, but the vast majority choose not to, which is what the experts state. When God punishes them, their punishment is just. Abusers have options for treatment and are accountable.
Once the marriage covenant is broken through abuse, the abused partner does not need to stay in the marriage waiting for the abuser to change. The abuser's recovery is a separate issue and his change is his own responsibility, not his wife's. This is the mistake most churches make. These churches have over-sentimentalized marriage and are legalists.
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