Barbara Roberts ♦ 26th September 2020 ♦ 12 Comments
Many Christians believe that God hates divorce. This mistaken idea comes from mis-translations of Malachi 2:16. I have been rebutting the idea that ‘God hates divorce’ since 2008. I wrote about it in my book Not Under Bondage. I am in the process of revising my book and the chapter on Malachi will be entirely …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 28th August 2020 ♦ 8 Comments
The arrogant start with the false premise that service to God has to bring them worldly rewards. Once you accept that false premise, there is a certain logic to their reasoning. Psychopaths are incapable of doing good. They are driven to cause harm – evil. They believe that whatever they do is good, therefore they …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 20th August 2020 ♦ 3 Comments
Here are tips and encouragement for sheep who are stepping forward as shepherds. God’s word urges us to grow into maturity in Christ: ….until we every one (in the unity of faith and the knowledge of the Son of God) grow up to be perfect in the maturity of the fullness of Christ; so that …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 8th August 2020 ♦ 5 Comments
Whether the Bible allows divorce and remarriage has been debated for centuries. If you are battling authorities who say that divorce is not allowed and remarriage is always sinful, then you are not alone! Martin Luther fought that battle against the Roman Catholic Church. In his day, the Roman Catholic Church imposed rules (canon law) …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 17th July 2020 ♦ 19 Comments
Like a man in prison ever desires to be delivered, whether he be eating or drinking or sleeping, and like someone who is sick desires always to be whole, so every true Christian prays continually – yea, even when he seems not to pray. For prayer consists not in much babbling (Matthew 6:7) but in …
Guest ♦ 20th December 2019 ♦ 109 Comments
Many are puzzled by Jesus’ different approaches to the subject of violence. ‘turn the other cheek’ ‘the meek shall inherit the earth’ whipping the bankers and merchants out of the Temple telling the apostles to get swords for themselves before going into the Garden of Gethsemane rebuking Peter for slicing off the ear of a …
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The definition of abuse: A pattern of coercive control (ongoing actions or inactions) that proceeds from a mentality of entitlement to power, whereby, through intimidation, manipulation and isolation, the abuser keeps his* target subordinated and under his control. This pattern can be emotional, verbal, psychological, spiritual, sexual, financial, social and physical. Not all these elements need be present, e.g., physical abuse may not be part of it.
The definition of domestic abuser: a family member or dating partner (current or ex) who has a profound mentality of entitlement to the possession of power and control over the one s/he* chooses to mistreat. This mentality of entitlement defines the very essence of the abuser. The abuser believes he is justified in using evil tactics to obtain and maintain that power and control.
* Sometimes the genders are reversed—see our tag for 'male survivors' (tags tab in the top menu).
To say that abusers cannot change removes responsibility for sin. They can change, but the vast majority choose not to, which is what the experts state. When God punishes them, their punishment is just. Abusers have options for treatment and are accountable.
Once the marriage covenant is broken through abuse, the abused partner does not need to stay in the marriage waiting for the abuser to change. The abuser's recovery is a separate issue and his change is his own responsibility, not his wife's. This is the mistake most churches make. These churches have over-sentimentalized marriage and are legalists.
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