A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

Tag Archives: identifying abusers

Pounding the facts; pounding the witness; pounding the table

Here is a way to identify whether someone is a genuine shepherd or a hireling-cum-wolf. Ask yourself, “Is this person pounding the facts? Or are they just pounding the witness or pounding the table?” This post is a recapitulation and coda to Part 3 of my series about Sheep, Shepherds and Wolves. The questions in …

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Sheep, sheep-like shepherds, shepherds, and wolves

Society and especially the churches are in perilous times. Therefore it’s imperative to discern the difference between shepherds and wolves. There are three types of people in the church, as there are elsewhere. That’s a generalisation, but it can help us understand life. In Christian terms, those three types are Sheep, Shepherds and Wolves. This …

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Going from anger to calm in an instant – a Red Flag of an abuser/psychopath

Guest post by James Many ‘ordinary’ people can go from calm to angry very quickly given the right circumstances. But only those with personality disorders (psychopaths etc) can go from anger to calm in an instant. It is a huge ‘tell-tale’. [Update — James has clarified this even more: Going from anger to charming in …

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Apologies—the good and the bad. Wade Mullen’s wisdom from observing institutional apologies.

Fake apologies employ self-justification. They appease just enough to quell resistance. They excuse the abusers and condemn the victims. Real apologies involve surrender, confession, recognition and empathy. What I’ve Observed When Institutions Try to Apologize and How They Can Do Better by Wade Mullen. Too often the words “We are sorry” are casually offered and …

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Abusers cleverly disguise themselves. You will see what looks like Christ’s fruit, but He is not their root.

There are so many horrifying aspects to abusers. But one of the WORST is how they can and do cleverly disguise themselves. They can appear very nice, very kind and very friendly. They can even be encouraging, open minded and generous. And they can appear warm, affectionate and attentive as well. And others around them …

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Diane Langberg is advocating for abuse victims, but… (pt 3 of series on SBC’s ChurchCares program)

I know many victims and victim-advocates have found Diane Langberg’s work valuable. In her counseling, public speaking and writing she is raising awareness about abuse. She is reaching conservative leaders and she’s trained many counselors and church-goers about how to identify and respond to abuse, trauma and narcissistic leadership. Diane is one of the training …

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