Tag Archives: identifying abusers
The second test Joseph gave his brothers
Barbara Roberts ♦ 20th February 2021 ♦ 5 Comments
Joseph, as Governor of Egypt, had begun testing his brothers by falsely accusing them of being spies. He had retained Simeon in custody and instructed the other nine brothers to return home and come again to Egypt bringing their youngest brother Benjamin with them. (see part 1 of this series) Their father Jacob was very …
Pounding the facts; pounding the witness; pounding the table
Barbara Roberts ♦ 19th June 2020 ♦ 18 Comments
Here is a way to identify whether someone is a genuine shepherd or a hireling-cum-wolf. Ask yourself, “Is this person pounding the facts? Or are they just pounding the witness or pounding the table?” This post is a recapitulation and coda to Part 3 of my series about Sheep, Shepherds and Wolves. The questions in …
Sheep, sheep-like shepherds, shepherds, and wolves
Barbara Roberts ♦ 18th May 2020 ♦ 62 Comments
Society and especially the churches are in perilous times. Therefore it’s imperative to discern the difference between shepherds and wolves. There are three types of people in the church, as there are elsewhere. That’s a generalisation, but it can help us understand life. In Christian terms, those three types are Sheep, Shepherds and Wolves. This …
Going from anger to calm in an instant – a Red Flag of an abuser/psychopath
Guest ♦ 7th March 2020 ♦ 78 Comments
Guest post by James Many ‘ordinary’ people can go from calm to angry very quickly given the right circumstances. But only those with personality disorders (psychopaths etc) can go from anger to calm in an instant. It is a huge ‘tell-tale’. [Update — James has clarified this even more: Going from anger to charming in …
Apologies—the good and the bad. Wade Mullen’s wisdom from observing institutional apologies.
Barbara Roberts ♦ 21st July 2019 ♦ 35 Comments
Fake apologies employ self-justification. They appease just enough to quell resistance. They excuse the abusers and condemn the victims. Real apologies involve surrender, confession, recognition and empathy. What I’ve Observed When Institutions Try to Apologize and How They Can Do Better by Wade Mullen. Too often the words “We are sorry” are casually offered and …
Abusers cleverly disguise themselves. You will see what looks like Christ’s fruit, but He is not their root.
Guest ♦ 8th July 2019 ♦ 2 Comments
There are so many horrifying aspects to abusers. But one of the WORST is how they can and do cleverly disguise themselves. They can appear very nice, very kind and very friendly. They can even be encouraging, open minded and generous. And they can appear warm, affectionate and attentive as well. And others around them …
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