A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

Tag Archives: language of abusers

Apologies—the good and the bad. Wade Mullen’s wisdom from observing institutional apologies.

Fake apologies employ self-justification. They appease just enough to quell resistance. They excuse the abusers and condemn the victims. Real apologies involve surrender, confession, recognition and empathy. What I’ve Observed When Institutions Try to Apologize and How They Can Do Better by Wade Mullen. Too often the words “We are sorry” are casually offered and …

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She nags me! – what the abuser means when he says that

“She nags me” means she presses me to accept my responsibilities. If you ask an abuser to fulfil his responsibilities, you are not being controlling. You are not abusing the perpetrator when you ask him to accept his responsibilities. You are being a reasonable adult human being. You are simply calling on him to be …

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5. Chris Moles sometimes endorses the abuser’s narrative

Chris Moles uses some wording that can endorse the abuser’s narrative. I will give three examples of this. Chris’s language permits the abuser to evade responsibility for his wrong choices. Chris wrote a blog post aimed at abusive men – ‘Telling The Truth To Yourself’ (T*). In that post he used some language that in my view …

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Don Hennessy says domestic abusers are like pedophiles — and there’s not much proof they’re redeemable.

He’s your ideal man and your worst nightmare.  Men who abuse women tend to go through a subtle but ultimately dramatic transformation that leaves their partner desperately searching for the person he was at the start of their relationship and blaming herself for losing him along the way. “They are extremely clever people,” says Don …

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Examples of Victim-Blaming played out in Everyday Scenarios

Victim-blaming is an all too common tactic of abusers.  Huffington Post recently posted an article that featured victim-blaming logic using three one-minute videos.   As you will see it’s not very logical! This Is How Victim-Baming Logic would play out in Everyday Scenarios Each video depicts an ordinary setting in which one character uses victim-blaming …

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Jason Meyer doesn’t understand domestic abuse very well. Chris Moles trained him.

Pastor Jason Meyer is happy for people to talk about domestic abuse in mutualizing language and to airbrush the fact that perpetrators are the sole cause of abuse. He is the senior pastor at Bethlehem Baptist Church Minnesota (John Piper’s former church). Despite the fact that he and his elders have been trained by Chris …

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