Is the Great Sex Rescue’s research peer reviewed? Let’s have an in-depth discussion.

Andrea Aleksandrova expresses concerns about Sheila Wray Gregoire's "Great Sex Rescue" research. Last week after Patrick Miller had expressed doubts about Sheila's research, Sheila challenged Patrick on Twitter. Patrick ended up apologising to Sheila. Andrea calls for an in-depth discussion about the claims Sheila is making. She also expresses concerns about how justice-loving people are responding.

Messages used by psychological abusers — domestic abusers and governments

In psychological abuse, the abuser conveys messages in order to steer and control the feelings, thinking and behaviour of his target. This article compares messages used by domestic abusers with messages used by governments and corporate media. Understanding the similarities and parallels may help you make sense of the confusion that is around you.  We… Continue reading Messages used by psychological abusers — domestic abusers and governments

Discerning the difference between a victim and a liar: lessons from “Pride and Prejudice”

Most abusers claim to be victims. This is one of the reasons why genuine victims are often disbelieved when they disclose the abuse. When both spouses are claiming to be victims, church leaders often find it hard to tell who is lying. It's a dilemma for the church leaders, and it's devastating for the genuine… Continue reading Discerning the difference between a victim and a liar: lessons from “Pride and Prejudice”

Psychopathic reasoning and Malachi’s rebuke of the priests

The arrogant start with the false premise that service to God has to bring them worldly rewards. Once you accept that false premise, there is a certain logic to their reasoning. Psychopaths are incapable of doing good. They are driven to cause harm – evil. They believe that whatever they do is good, therefore they… Continue reading Psychopathic reasoning and Malachi’s rebuke of the priests

Apologies—the good and the bad. Wade Mullen’s wisdom from observing institutional apologies.

Fake apologies employ self-justification. They appease just enough to quell resistance. They excuse the abusers and condemn the victims. Real apologies involve surrender, confession, recognition and empathy. What I’ve Observed When Institutions Try to Apologize and How They Can Do Better by Wade Mullen. Too often the words "We are sorry" are casually offered and… Continue reading Apologies—the good and the bad. Wade Mullen’s wisdom from observing institutional apologies.

She nags me! – what the abuser means when he says that

"She nags me" means she presses me to accept my responsibilities. If you ask an abuser to fulfil his responsibilities, you are not being controlling. You are not abusing the perpetrator when you ask him to accept his responsibilities. You are being a reasonable adult human being. You are simply calling on him to be… Continue reading She nags me! – what the abuser means when he says that

5. Chris Moles sometimes endorses the abuser’s narrative

Chris Moles uses some wording that can endorse the abuser's narrative. I will give three examples of this. Chris's language permits the abuser to evade responsibility for his wrong choices. Chris wrote a blog post aimed at abusive men – 'Telling The Truth To Yourself' (T*). In that post he used some language that in my view… Continue reading 5. Chris Moles sometimes endorses the abuser’s narrative