Barbara Roberts ♦ 13th December 2021 ♦ 6 Comments
[August 18, 2022: There have been some changes made to this post. For more information, read the Editors’ notes at the bottom of the post. Editors.] If you feel like you are walking on eggshells… ….you may be suffering from domestic abuse, which is persistent or recurrent behaviour by an intimate partner that causes physical, …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 10th May 2021 ♦ 6 Comments
(1 Corinthians 11:3) But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a woman is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. Professor Wayne Grudem interprets 1 Corinthians 11:3 as follows: just as the Father has authority over the Son in the Trinity, so the …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 22nd January 2021 ♦ 28 Comments
Last year I promised to revise my book Not Under Bondage and publish the revised version in paperback, e-book and audio-book formats. I have made substantial progress but am still some way from publishing the revised version. I apologise for the delay. I got sidetracked and slowed down by Covid (didn’t we all?) and I …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 13th July 2020 ♦ 45 Comments
[August 14, 2022: There have been some changes made to this post. For more information, read the Editors’ notes at the bottom of the post. Editors.] When they could snatch a bit of time at the riverbank, out of eye or earshot of their masters, the captive Israelites didn’t have to sing happy songs on …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 5th July 2020 ♦ 8 Comments
[August 21, 2022: There have been some changes made to this post. For more information, read the Editors’ notes at the bottom of the post. Editors.] Thou Lord, in the beginning, hast laid the foundation of the earth / and the heavens are the work of thy hands. They shall perish, but thou shalt endure …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 12th June 2020 ♦ 26 Comments
Society and especially the churches are in perilous times. It is imperative to understand what can happen when evildoers are controlling the masses. A brief review of Part 1 and Part 2 of this series: There are three kinds of people: Sheep, Shepherds and Wolves. Shepherds are focused on caring for the sheep. Shepherds are …
The definition of abuse: A pattern of coercive control (ongoing actions or inactions) that proceeds from a mentality of entitlement to power, whereby, through intimidation, manipulation and isolation, the abuser keeps his* target subordinated and under his control. This pattern can be emotional, verbal, psychological, spiritual, sexual, financial, social and physical. Not all these elements need be present, e.g., physical abuse may not be part of it.
The definition of domestic abuser: a family member or dating partner (current or ex) who has a profound mentality of entitlement to the possession of power and control over the one s/he* chooses to mistreat. This mentality of entitlement defines the very essence of the abuser. The abuser believes he is justified in using evil tactics to obtain and maintain that power and control.
* Sometimes the genders are reversed—see our tag for 'male survivors' (tags tab in the top menu).
To say that abusers cannot change removes responsibility for sin. They can change, but the vast majority choose not to, which is what the experts state. When God punishes them, their punishment is just. Abusers have options for treatment and are accountable.
Once the marriage covenant is broken through abuse, the abused partner does not need to stay in the marriage waiting for the abuser to change. The abuser's recovery is a separate issue and his change is his own responsibility, not his wife's. This is the mistake most churches make. These churches have over-sentimentalized marriage and are legalists.
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