Barbara Roberts ♦ 26th March 2022 ♦ 3 Comments
This post is about social workers and the justice system taking children of protective mothers. While it focuses on Ireland, we can all learn from it because the Irish Republic is not the only country where the system is set up to favour abusers. The Alliance of Birth Mothers Campaigning for Justice (ABC) is an …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 4th July 2021 ♦ 8 Comments
[July 19, 2022: There have been some changes made to this post. For more information, read the Editors’ notes at the bottom of the post. Editors.] Leviticus has several verses that forbid father-daughter incest. Despite this, the ESV Study Bible’s note on Leviticus 18:6-18 reads as follows (bold emphasis mine): These laws prohibit sexual relations …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 12th January 2021 ♦ 1 Comment
Rebecca Davis asked a good question: Do you know anyone who grew up in a home that claimed to be a “Biblical patriarchal” home that was happy and healthy, with parents who loved and respected each other and in which the children grew up to be whole and well-functioning adults? Rebecca asked this question on …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 28th August 2019 ♦ 17 Comments
Australia is not the only place where children are being forced to have contact with abusers by the legal system. Caution: For some readers, some of the linked articles may be triggering. What is the so-called evangelical church doing about any of this? I answer that ^ question at the bottom of this post. I …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 12th August 2019 ♦ 34 Comments
UPDATE Sept 2021: I have come to believe that Jeff Crippen does not practise what he preaches. He vilely persecuted an abuse victim and spiritually abused many other people in the Tillamook congregation. Go here to read the evidence. Jeff has not gone to the people that he spiritually and emotionally abused. He has not apologised to them, let …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 22nd April 2019 ♦ 34 Comments
The tangled mess of mistaken notions about the doctrine of divorce is truly a gigantic knot. It takes a lot of untying to get it correct. And most professing Christians, in my observation, are still carrying around at least one but probably several false notions about divorce doctrine. The false notions prop each other up …
The definition of abuse: A pattern of coercive control (ongoing actions or inactions) that proceeds from a mentality of entitlement to power, whereby, through intimidation, manipulation and isolation, the abuser keeps his* target subordinated and under his control. This pattern can be emotional, verbal, psychological, spiritual, sexual, financial, social and physical. Not all these elements need be present, e.g., physical abuse may not be part of it.
The definition of domestic abuser: a family member or dating partner (current or ex) who has a profound mentality of entitlement to the possession of power and control over the one s/he* chooses to mistreat. This mentality of entitlement defines the very essence of the abuser. The abuser believes he is justified in using evil tactics to obtain and maintain that power and control.
* Sometimes the genders are reversed—see our tag for 'male survivors' (tags tab in the top menu).
To say that abusers cannot change removes responsibility for sin. They can change, but the vast majority choose not to, which is what the experts state. When God punishes them, their punishment is just. Abusers have options for treatment and are accountable.
Once the marriage covenant is broken through abuse, the abused partner does not need to stay in the marriage waiting for the abuser to change. The abuser's recovery is a separate issue and his change is his own responsibility, not his wife's. This is the mistake most churches make. These churches have over-sentimentalized marriage and are legalists.
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