1 Corinthians 5:11 – does it apply only if there’s common knowledge of the person’s sin? (Part 2)

What I said in Part 1 of this two-part series doesn’t imply there is no room for some kind of investigative process. But before I go further, this vital point needs to be made:

If there are allegations of criminal behaviour, then the church must not be doing the investigation.

If the church takes it upon itself to investigate allegations of criminal conduct, it muddies the waters of the investigation. Because by the time the police get involved (if they do), the victim and suspects have already been interviewed by church leaders. This tips off the criminal that they are being exposed, so the criminal will go into damage control mode, threatening the victim, slandering the victim to the congregation, buttering up the community even more than he has already, so that he will have many allies if it goes to court. And if it goes to court the bad guy’s attorney is probably going to claim that the church implanted things into the victim’s story.

Is there any place for Matthew 18 overlapping with 1 Corinthians 5?

With respect to investigative inquiry that a church can do, the Matthew 18 model and the 1 Corinthians 5 model are not watertight compartments with no overlap or middle ground.

But let us remember the fundamentals: The immediate-expulsion protocol of 1 Corinthians 5 is for the six heinous sins listed in verse 11 when any of those six sins are found to be in a person who professes Christ. Therefore, Matthew 18 must be intended for lesser types of sins than those six sins. This makes common sense! Would we tell a victim of rape to go privately to her rapist first and admonish him, then take one or two witnesses to confront him again? That would gravely endanger the victim! And rape comes under two of the sins named in verse 11: sexual immorality, and swindling.

Church leaders who are wise about evil — who understand the mindset of abusers, and are astute at discerning wolves in sheep’s clothing — will be able to wisely carry out some kind of investigation and interviewing process to determine the truth of a disclosure of domestic abuse. Most victims would welcome that, if they found that their perspectives and voices were valued and heard! Many victims would appreciate such an investigative enquiry and evidence-gathering process IF the leaders were astute enough to recognise when the abuser is lying, putting up smoke screens and laying false trails.

When good leaders are equipped and astute enough to do an investigative-inquiry well, the result will be vindication for the victim — which will bring healing balm for her wounded soul!

Most of our readers have never had anything like vindication from their churches.

In a domestic abuse case, the shape and look of such an investigative inquiry would not be like a ritualistic code-book version of Matthew 18. It would likely be far more quick than the prolonged (torture-rack) version of Matthew 18 which many of our readers have experienced from churches.

A good investigation would cut the abuser off at the pass when he attempted to snow the leadership or recruit allies in the church.

Wise church leaders who “get it” about abuse and have done the hard yards to learn about the mindset and tactics of abusers, could do this investigation and resolve it pretty quickly. The problem is usually that leaders take far too long, and they are unable to discern the abuser’s tactics of manipulation and deceit.

Furthermore, leaders could certainly do an investigation after the victim had left the abuser! There is no need to tie leaving the abuser (or having him put out of the family home by court-order) with an investigative-inquiry by the Elders. The two things do not have to be linked, or contingent upon one another. The safety of the victim and children always comes first. And it is the victim’s choice whether she leaves or not.

The trouble is, there are so few good pastors and leaders who:

  • Understand all the dynamics of domestic abuse.
  • Are wide awake to the privilege which they enjoy by virtue of being male.
  • Are wide awake to the widespread discrediting of women’s perspectives and experiences, particularly the experiences of women who have experienced abuse from their husbands.

Some church leaders are cowards

There are some churches which have (thank heavens) removed a perpetrator of domestic abuse from membership, but those churches have not made this public to the congregation. To me, that smacks of cowardice. And it leaves the victim still vulnerable, since many in the congregation may assume she was wrong to leave the marrriage and divorce her husband.

The abuser can put on his pity play to win these people to his side. And he will tell those people that his wife is crazy. Even if he is no longer a member he can still get in the ear of members of the congregation and sow lies about his victim’s character. So in this scenario, the victim’s reputation is not vindicated. Only if the church publicly announces the ex-communication and the reasons for it, is the victim’s reputation fully vindicated.

Are we rejecting the Gospel?

In advocating that abusers who profess Christianity be put out of the church, we have never said that expulsion must always be permanent. If an ex-communicated person is later on genuinely converted to Christ, born again and indwelt by the Spirit, they will repent of their former wickedness and become changed. We would see this in their behaviour longterm, even while they are under pressure and stress.

If the story in 2 Corinthians does refer to the incestuous man from 1 Corithians (which we only infer, we have no proof) then that man did truly become regenerate and was re-admitted into the church.

However, in my observation, genuine repentance and reformation from sexual immorality or drunkenness is more common than genuine repentance and reformation from spousal abuse.

Reality Check: Domestic abusers are guilty of many if not all of the six sins listed in 1 Corinthians 5:11

Sexual immorality — frequently by porn addiction and / or serial adultery. And those abusers who do not use porn or commit adultery may still sexually abuse their wives by coercively controlling them to submit to sex they don’t want and punishing them if they refuse to submit. And sometimes they also sexually abuse the children.

Greed — often in countless ways, many of which result in financial abuse of the victim.

Idolatry — the abuser expects his partner to worship him and put him before God. And churches and abusers also spiritually abuse the victims by claiming that God prioritises the institution of marriage over the well-being and safety individuals within it. This is nothing less that the idolatry of marriage.

Reviling — verbal abuse, abusive speech and slander.

Drunkard — some abusers greatly misuse alcohol or other substances. Some are squeaky clean in that regard.

Swindler — the Greek word translated as “swindling” denotes “snatching, taking by force, predation, rape, plundering, subsisting on live prey”. Examples that happen in domestic abuse:

  • Courting a woman while claiming to be a Christian, when he isn’t one.
  • Fraudulently putting on a “nice” mask during the courtship to entice her into marriage, only to take it off later once he’s got her trapped.
  • All the extortion which he does during the marriage in countless ways.
  • Abusers lie, deceive, use threats and stand-over tactics to get what they want.
  • They use their victims to get their sexual needs without having to negotiate.
  • They incrementally rob and shred (steal) the dignity and personhood of their victims.
  • The skilled male abuser takes over the mind of the target woman so she can’t listen to her instincts (see our Don Hennessy Digest).

Therefore, most abusers are guilty of several of these six sins. And it is not uncommon for an abuser to be guilty of all six. Habitually. Intentionally. By choice. Despite remonstrations and admonishments from godly people.

Consequences of the false doctrine that says “it must be public knowledge”

It is wrong to say that verse 11 applies only when there is public knowledge of the individual’s sin, only when it is well-known in the congregation.

To show you that it’s wrong, let us push that argument to its full consequences. It leads to this ridiculously unfair end-point: If an abuser has kept his sins hidden so they are not known to the general congregation, then the church must not ex-communicate him rapidly when his victim discloses her plight and seeks help.

People who take this line are saying that the church must do Matthew 18 instead, with a view to the repentance and restoration of the sinner. Their teaching leaves them wide open to being snowed by the abuser because most people are unable to recognise and resist the subtle invitations which abusers give out to enlist allies and the tactics they use to massage the perspectives of bystanders. This leaves many victims who disclose their plight in a very dangerous position because most pastors are very poor at detecting wolves in sheep’s clothing. And it is not taught in seminaries, so we can’t altogether blame them!

Abusers are very clever at keeping their sins behind closed doors and out of common knowledge. The way things stand, if this “it must be common knowledge” doctrine is maintained and the abuser is not put out pronto when the victim discloses, victims will continue to suffer — and the church will continue to be under God’s judgement.

Most churches are taking the presumption of innocence way too far with abusers, and victims are too often disbelieved and discredited. If that were not so, we wouldn’t have a big family of survivors at this blog who lament and support each other in their recovery.

And if once in a blue moon an allegedly abusive man is put out, and it turns out that he wasn’t an abuser, well guess what? God is quite able to bring that to rights….and if the man is a genuinely regenerate believer God will help him stand.

After all, that is the line these bad leaders usually give to victims: “if you are mistreated, just suffer it….God will take care of you.” Why not apply it to the abusers for a change? There’s a lot less chance you will be misapplying it!

[March 23, 2023: Editors’ notes:

—For some comments made prior to March 23, 2023 that quoted from the post, the text in the comment that was quoted from the post might no longer be an exact match.
—For some comments made prior to March 23, 2023 that quoted from the post, the text in the comment that was quoted from the post might no longer be found in the post.
If you would like to compare the text in the comments made prior to March 23, 2023 that quoted from the post to the post as it is now (March 23, 2023), click here [Internet Archive link] for the most recent Internet Archive copy of the post.]


Posts in the 1 Corinthians 5:11 series

Part 1: 1 Corinthians 5:11 – does it apply ONLY if there’s common knowledge of the person’s sin?

Part 2: Is this post.


Further reading

The language of abusers who portray themselves as victims 

Is it wrong to “just believe” abuse victims?

God’s rules of evidence are often misapplied, to the harm of abuse victims

Marks of a pretend victim versus a true victim

Church discipline and church permission for divorce – how my mind has changed

As a pastor, what are the most important things for me to know about domestic abuse?

Things that God Hates — 1 Corinthians 5 — A sermon by Pastor Sam Powell on 1 Corinthians 5.

The Purification of the Church — 1 Corinthians 5:1-8 — A sermon by Pastor Sam Powell on 1 Corinthians 5:1-8

24 thoughts on “1 Corinthians 5:11 – does it apply only if there’s common knowledge of the person’s sin? (Part 2)”

  1. If there is a crime involved, a case that must or will be reported to the police, then the church should not be doing the investigation of the crime.

    Having just gone through a sexual abuse situation involving the adult son of prominent church members and seeing the way church leaders completely mishandled it, I have come to the conclusion the church should NEVER be involved in investigating a report of child sexual abuse. If anyone comes with such a report to church leaders, they should immediately offer to go with the victim to report or report it themselves, even if it is just a suspicion of sexual abuse (as teachers are mandated to do). Unfortunately, far too often, when such reports are made, these leaders determine that no crime is involved or not sufficiently criminal to report and then pressure is applied (including the twisting of God’s word, because obviously their position of hiding the abuse is the godly one) to an already devasted victim and family (speaking from experience here).

    The true place for the church in abuse situations is to FIRST help the victim and family walk through a very difficult situation and then walk with the abuser and his family in an appropriate and redeeming way. The church is not equipped to investigate anything while a case is active (including before it’s reported to authorities).

    One of my regrets is that I went to church leadership first for help after finding out my child had been assaulted by this young man. Their response was immediately to protect him, including dissuading me from seeking professional counseling for my child (of course, they were all skilled enough amateur counselors to be able to help) as that entailed the crime being reported to authorities. Because I went to them first, the young man’s attorney was able to contact every witness and ask them to write letters to the police saying they refused to cooperate. I was even asked to write such a letter.

    The church has a place in these terrible situations and I thank you for your work in bringing this to light.

  2. Thank you, Barbara, so many cogent points in this rebuttal to the fake pious excuses for not dealing with destruction in the church. Putting out the destroying abuser is preaching the Gospel! Disfellowshipping people that are blatantly scorning the Word of God and bringing dishonor to Him is lovingly corrective action. The loving action isn’t just toward the abused but stopping a sinner from having a target is grace in action too. Protecting his children from further trauma is Gospel in action that leaves a life long message. I know that when the ministry was well aware of my father’s battery against my mother, when they knew she hospitalized with a knife wound, they did absolutely nothing for the grade school children that observed their indifference.

    No church people showed up even though my mother was a Sunday school teacher, no intervention occurred, no food was brought over that was my observation as a 9 year old and it left an impression that God was cold and indifferent. It took decades of wasted life to recover from that impression. Remember there are silent witnesses to the Gospel being carried in the feet of protection and justice.

    Marriage relationships are supposed to reflect the relationship of Christ and the church. Those perverters and violators of that image need ministry to their deepest need. Getting the police involved and refusing to try to exonerate or avoid jail time is mercy and grace and kindness to the abuser and the abused.

    Repentance and freedom from domination of the evil one is an abusers deepest need. Demanding anything less condemns the abuser to a descent into further darkness. It is the loving thing to do, to minister to that need for repentance, after all hell is hot and long and to be avoided if you are a vessel of the love of God to a dark world.

    1. Getting the police involved and refusing to try to exonerate or avoid jail time is mercy and grace and kindness to the abuser and the abused.

      A very difficult concept for some to understand. After much prayer, thought, reading, and an email discussion with Boz Tchividjian of GRACE [Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment], our family decided to insist the young man who had molested our teen be registered as a sex offender, in order to protect others.

      We, however, are the bad guys for doing so because, of course this was —
      “Just a youthful mistake on this young man’s part; he’s repented.” (Even though he’s continued to lie and minimize what happened and manipulate the people around him.)
      “But for the grace of God, there go all males.” (I didn’t realize until the church Elders said a variation of this that basically all men are potential predators — God help us all then.)
      “I’m over-reacting and vindictive.” I and my other teen child were upset that while he was being arraigned on charges of child molestation, he and his parents didn’t have the wisdom to keep him away from the combined middle school / high school youth group my child also attended (and which he was a year too old for!!!!).

      I am the one considered “unforgiving” and “vindictive” for insisting this person had ALREADY proven himself unsafe for our church community and in need of a cautious and long term plan to be fully integrated into our church family (“church family”, a phrase I’m now finding really tiresome as it means so little to those who often use it).

      Very few people in the congregation are even aware that this young man is now a convicted registered child molester. And I have given up on anything changing. I left the church 3 weeks ago.

  3. May I be so blunt then in stating. If the pastor is not addressing the issue of DV in the body. Exposing the abuser. The Holy Spirit has left the pulpit?

    This info is so needed in the true church today.

    Implementing this can take time!

    The enemy loves to shroud the light. He will do what he’s best at. Deception!

  4. Barbara, I am continually astounded and profoundly moved by what is written in this blog; thank you for your courage to speak truth without deference to the contingent of those who would abuse, turn their heads to it, wink at it or condone it.

    Christ respects Himself — He doesn’t keep His body dirty; He cleans things up, makes it shiny and new, glorious and good, blessed, honoured, beloved. We are He [in Him], praise God forever for His mercy and loving kindness to call us His own.

    How can Christ return to a bride when the best part of her has been destroyed then all of her still banished like Tamar???

    I recently returned to the church I had left, the one that had supported the rapist and blamed me (except for two ministers who did what they could and suffered the repercussions for it). I had hope in my heart that things had changed. Many people were so happy to see me, and I them. These were caring, sweet people. But the minister, after shaking my hand and exchanging a few words in greeting, said with tender compassion something to the effect that God punishes / spanks us to bring us around to our senses; the correction hurts but is good for us. He was pleased I had returned.

    I never went back.

    So why do I feel like I’m doing something wrong whenever I disclose the fact that I, as a very young woman new to the church, had been tricked into marrying a rapist, the son of leading long-time members (a Deacon and Deaconness, in fact)? It’s hidden so well and has been for so long, it still is my word against not just his but theirs. Even his criminal record has been expunged, though the police stay aware.

    I still grieve as I struggle to live each and every day while still banished from not only my one and only home and family, but my place in this world — far more than a refugee: not only a displaced person but a displaced soul. This is torment.

    When Jesus returns, He will turn sorrow into joy? I can hardly wait. I’ve been shallow breathing in this cave for so long and the oxygen is almost all gone. God’s love is beyond great, even the smallest measure of it.

    Where is our Father? Where are our brothers? Don’t they know?

    God help us.

    1. Hi, Survivor, you will see I changed your screen name. I did this to protect your identity. Welcome to the blog. 🙂

      I encourage you to check out our New Users’ Info page as it gives tips for how to guard your safety while commenting on the blog.

      And if you don’t like the screen name I gave you, just email twbtc.acfj@gmail.com and tell her what you would like us to change it to. 🙂

  5. Thank you, thank you, for saying this! I have so many I wish I could share it with but I know it will still be rejected and I will be accused once again because they have all chosen his lies over the truth. But the Lord may bring revival yet.

  6. Thank you so much to everyone who has commented on this thread. When Part 1 was published and received so few comments, I thought: “Hmm, this might not touch a chord with most of our readers. Maybe I’ve just written another long post (I know I tend to write long posts….) and it won’t go anywhere much. But at least it will sit there on the blog so when we want to give a Pharisaic person a rebuttal of the “must be public knowledge” notion, we can simply refer that person to this series.”

    But now I see I have touched a chord.

    Yes I admit it, I do like responses! I am a social critter, and the commenters and fellow team members on this blog are my closest friends, apart from my daughter and a few friends I have in Oz. 🙂

    1. Yes, Barbara, you’ve touched a chord. I was feeling too overwhelmed to comment on your Part one thread…. As I’m digesting each post, quite often all I can muster is a “Help me Lord to remain strong and obedient to Your Word.”

      1. Thanks, Healinginhim. Wry thought: maybe I should put a “trigger – potentially overwhelming” warning on my long posts where I tackle the golden cows of the ‘c’hurch.

    2. Barbara,
      This is an excellent post.
      I think there could be an reason unrelated to the Wednesday post’s length or content for the post not receiving much response. It may be true for others in the USA, as it is for me, that the terrorist murders in San Bernardino, California, on Wednesday took us away from our usual internet reading while we followed the news and prayed for the victims, the responders, and our nation. You may want to even make a special Saturday post to simply refer back to this series of posts, and help people catch up.

      1. Oh, thanks Robert, I hadn’t considered that. We’ve heard about the San Bernardino shootings of course, on our Oz news, but I hadn’t considered how much it would be dominating the news in the USA.

    3. Wow, thank you for describing the 6 traits in Corinthians. My abuser acted out 5 of the 6 “covertly” of course. Your words help describe some of the things that happened and give me an opportunity to own them (I mean name them and rebuke them) and then give them to Jesus. While I know I am now free, sometimes the pain is overwhelming.

  7. It is such a sad state in the church when abusers are coddled and shown empathy (which I’ve come to learn that the man pretending to be my husband viewed empathy as justification for further abuse) for how hard they’re “struggling”, and the victims are told to “suck-it-up and suffer”. How horrible the way that Scripture has been twisted so much that deceit is enabled while those who truly are suffering at the hands of evil (which is NOT suffering for Jesus) are being left not even feeling safe to attend worship. Which then just gives the enablers of abuse and the abusers even more ammunition to use against her.

    It is difficult to not have a church to attend. I listen to sermons online, but I miss the fellowship, the human contact. I will no longer attend the church I was attending for many years, I am unable to sit and listen to someone teach God’s Word while at the same time tell me I am to “submit to my husband no matter what” — and I’m not even to mention what he’s done without his “permission” as that would be “disrespectful” to him. I had contemplated speaking to Pastors at some of the other churches where I live, but it is a difficult thing to do, and I’ve now since discovered that the abuser has been to at least 3 other churches in town meeting with the pastors and men’s group leaders. I don’t even know if I could walk into a pastor’s office and speak to someone who hasn’t already been mislead by the abuser.

    Barbara, I really appreciate the ways you identified the abuser in those six sins. It really helps confirms for me that the hardship that comes with leaving the abuser is what “suffering for Christ” is, rather than staying and “suffering for evil”. It is difficult being discredited by ‘C’hristians, being wrongly accused of disobeying God, being held responsible for the abusers sins, but reading these posts reaffirms that by me leaving the marriage, turning my back on his abuse….is following God.

    1. Surviving Freedom, you make an excellent point here —

      the hardship that comes with leaving the abuser is what “suffering for Christ” is, rather than staying and “suffering for evil”.


    2. The hardship that comes with leaving the abuser is what “suffering for Christ” is, rather than staying and “suffering for evil”.

      Thank you, Surviving Freedom! We will be putting that on our Gems page.

      For those of you who don’t know where the Gems page is, it is in the drop-down menu under our Insights tab.

  8. Like many here, I’m going through the unbelievable situation of having my abusive husband embraced and serving in our church, while I’m at home on Sundays after being threatened with public ex-communication for being “in rebellion to the Elders for filing for divorce”.

    The Elders demanded a “trial” where I could present witnesses for my allegations and my husband could do the same for his so-called allegations against me. We have not been long in this area so the church does not understand nor are they aware of our family’s past except what I’ve told them; if they could know our past, they’d know what a joke his allegations against me are! A former pastor (in a previous church) saw through my husband’s mask and severely admonished him for his lack of conscience, while I was present.

    Now, back to the matter at hand — how am I supposed to prove anything in their little court? Witnesses? Do they mean my children?!? (They must not realize that abusers do their abusing behind closed doors.) Anyway, I’m supposed to have my children testify against their dad, in front of their dad, as well as a bunch of men they don’t even know? I’m supposed to do the same — even bringing in my personal journals from over twenty-three years to read aloud from. Long story short — I refused them. I will not traumatize my children and I will not share personal, humiliating details with a panel of men that I neither know nor trust. I told them I was having nothing more to do with their church and did not want them to contact me any further.

    Then the letter came a few weeks later. It was an “indictment” against me and I was told when I must appear in “court” before them to plead guilty or not guilty of “Contumacy against the Elders.” I would then have the opportunity to “repent” of my “heinous sin” and they would “restore” me if I did. Fast forward — the pastor finally emailed me suggesting we have a coffee together sometime. Talking to a few friends, they encouraged me to do it and said I should just go with the idea of telling them all that my husband has done over the years. The friends said they would come with to support me and to let the Pastor know that these are details I’ve been sharing with them these last couple years. Well, one of these friends is not a member of this church. When I emailed the pastor back, I was told that the one that’s not a member would not be welcome (even though the pastor knows her quite well) and that I must be misunderstanding the purpose of the meeting. The purpose was to talk about the “indictment” against me and how they’d like to proceed with that!….Wow, no words for that.

    In the meantime, one of our teenage children discovered that my husband is on a Christian dating website — representing himself as already divorced and looking for a Christian woman who “loves the Lord with all her heart”. LOL! I debated on telling the church leaders at first, but the friend I mentioned above encouraged me to do so. I emailed the pastor, sent screen shots of his “Dating Profile” from that site. The pastor responded by saying he would pass that along to those who are “working with” my husband. Well, that was some weeks ago. He’s still serving in the church and my teen said he’s as active as ever on that site — despite the fact that we’re still married and living together. You know, the church is starting to feel like a boys’ club. They in no way reflect our Savior; but they sure do look a lot like those Pharisees!

    [Note from Eds: This comment has been slightly airbrushed. Since the situation this reader recounts is quite common in conservative churches — particularly Presbyterian churches, because Presbyterians put such an emphasis on “church courts” and “contumacy to the Elders” — we don’t feel it is necessary to airbrush too many details. What For Too Long is describing has happened to quite a number of our readers. So if you think you personally know the individuals involved in this case, you may well not! You may simply be thinking of another case, a case involving different people but with the same kinds of things happening. This stuff is rampant.]

    1. Wow.

      I find myself in an almost identical situation but I had no idea that what I was experiencing was a common occurrence among Presbyterian churches. I don’t know if it encourages me or sickens me to find out that my experience is not unique.

      I too have been summoned to a trial by the pastors and ruling Elders of my former church for the “sin of seeking a divorce without a biblical warrant”. My response to that ludicrous notion was to write a letter to the Session resigning my membership and telling them to never contact me again (one of my friends pointed out that by explicitly stating that I wanted no further communication with them that I would be able to file harassment charges should the church push forward with “disciplining” me). It’s only been a couple of weeks since I sent the letter and I haven’t heard anything back from them, but I’m kind of holding my breath, especially after reading the above post.

      Having my former church try to put me on trial for leaving an abusive husband — a husband who is still welcomed by that church and our old Bible study group, despite my telling the pastor and friends about what he did to me — it’s so very, very hurtful. I’ve felt abandoned by them already, since no one from that community has supported or helped me since I left him nearly a year ago. They’ve been happy to take his tithe even though they knew that he had cut me off from our finances, leaving me to starve. And anytime I’ve tried to rebuild relationships with friends I had there it seems I cannot get any of them to understand that continuing to have any kind of contact or friendship with my husband is effectively taking his side. They think that they are embodying “Christ’s love” by showing him mercy. One of them actually invited me to a party to which they had also invited my husband and the pastor who would have been my “prosecutor”, and they didn’t see how that was a problem!

      The way I’ve been treated by that church and the people in it has driven me away from the faith. I’ve effectively ex-communicated myself! This blog is the one Christian thing that I still have in my life. Friends try to encourage me by saying that not all churches are like my old one, but I don’t believe them. And there’s no way I’m going to open myself up to being so badly hurt by a community again.

      1. I’m so sad to know someone else out there is also going through what I am. You’re right — our situations are remarkably similar. In my case, I, too, tried to resign my membership — only to be told that since I had already entered a church discipline process, I wasn’t “allowed” to resign.

        I also understand the hurt you’re experiencing. Other than two women friends in the church, not one other person from there has reached out to me since I left several months ago. This includes two couples with whom my husband and I had been close friends and fellowshipped together with on a regular basis.

        Then, of course, is the absolutely horrible way I’ve been treated (bullied) by the church Elders — who claim they only want to help my children and me (as well as my husband). It’s incredulous to me how they believe that putting me on trial will help my children. And I, too, got the letter from the Elder who would be my “prosecutor” — and then had to bear seeing him at a recent social event not related to church (where he and his wife totally ignored both my children and me). That whole thing is so crazy to me — “prosecutor?” Where is the love of Christ in that?

        A dear friend who goes to another church also keeps encouraging me to try other churches. The best answer I have is to tell her I’m simply not ready for that. While I do believe that in time and with some healing I may make that step, I’m not there yet. I’m learning to accept being ex-communicated. Who wants to be in a community like that anyway? I’m not going to let them define who I am or cause me to doubt my identity in Christ. In the meantime, I’ll just continue to cling to my Savior. In the end, He is all the matters!

      2. Hi, Wayfaring Stranger, welcome to the blog. 🙂

        Well done for writing that letter of resignation and telling the church not to contact you again. Your friend’s suggestion there was very wise. You have shaken the dust off your feet in leaving a synagogue of Satan, where Christ can no longer dwell because the leadership and so many of the congregation are all wittingly or unwittingly enabling the kingdom of darkness to hold sway there.

  9. Although I’ve “followed” this community for several months now, this is my first time to post. What an invaluable resource! I wish every Pastor in the world could read and truly receive this in-depth look into 1 Corinthians 5:11.

    1. Hi, Keeningforthedawn,

      Welcome! So glad you have been following the blog — and thank you for your note of encouragement!

      We always direct first-time commenters to our New Users’ page. It gives tips for protecting one’s identity when commenting on the blog.

      Again, Welcome!

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