Barbara Roberts ♦ 8th August 2020 ♦ 5 Comments
Whether the Bible allows divorce and remarriage has been debated for centuries. If you are battling authorities who say that divorce is not allowed and remarriage is always sinful, then you are not alone! Martin Luther fought that battle against the Roman Catholic Church. In his day, the Roman Catholic Church imposed rules (canon law) …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 3rd December 2019 ♦ 33 Comments
Wayne Grudem used to say there were only two biblically-sanctioned grounds for divorce: adultery and desertion by an unbeliever (based on Matt. 19:9 and 1 Cor. 7:15). His counsel for abuse was to provide protection, church discipline, possible separation, but not divorce.¹ He has now had changed his mind. Let me quote from his paper …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 25th October 2019 ♦ 4 Comments
The Bible says that we can be blinded by Satan and by other human beings. Some of the humans who blind us are consciously working for Satan. Some of the humans who blind us are unconsciously working for Satan. Perhaps they have to some degree been blinded by other humans who are consciously working for …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 31st August 2019 ♦ 17 Comments
Does Scripture indicate that MEN are more prone to sexual sin than WOMEN? The sexual sins of both sexes are recounted in the Bible. Is God pointing the finger at one sex in particular? For those who are stuck in the sinkhole of sexual immorality, I urge you to read to the bottom of this …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 26th April 2019 ♦ 18 Comments
Some people say we must pay close attention to the different words the Bible uses for divorce because the words mean different things. These folks say that words like depart/ leave/ put away/ separate do not refer to legal divorce because no divorce certificate was issued, whereas other words refer to a certificate of divorce …
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The definition of abuse: A pattern of coercive control (ongoing actions or inactions) that proceeds from a mentality of entitlement to power, whereby, through intimidation, manipulation and isolation, the abuser keeps his* target subordinated and under his control. This pattern can be emotional, verbal, psychological, spiritual, sexual, financial, social and physical. Not all these elements need be present, e.g., physical abuse may not be part of it.
The definition of domestic abuser: a family member or dating partner (current or ex) who has a profound mentality of entitlement to the possession of power and control over the one s/he* chooses to mistreat. This mentality of entitlement defines the very essence of the abuser. The abuser believes he is justified in using evil tactics to obtain and maintain that power and control.
* Sometimes the genders are reversed—see our tag for 'male survivors' (tags tab in the top menu).
To say that abusers cannot change removes responsibility for sin. They can change, but the vast majority choose not to, which is what the experts state. When God punishes them, their punishment is just. Abusers have options for treatment and are accountable.
Once the marriage covenant is broken through abuse, the abused partner does not need to stay in the marriage waiting for the abuser to change. The abuser's recovery is a separate issue and his change is his own responsibility, not his wife's. This is the mistake most churches make. These churches have over-sentimentalized marriage and are legalists.
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