TRUE things I wish I’d been taught
I don’t have a relationship with most of my adult children. This wasn’t supposed to happen. If I followed all the rules and sacrificed my life for my family I was told that I would be enjoying the fruits of my labor and that society would benefit from them as well. Lies, lies, and more lies keeping us working like monsters only to realize that it was for naught.
There are three things I wish I’d been taught — TRUE things I wish I’d been taught:
- Not all humans are capable of loving others, and what this means is that they are always only playing games with other humans. And like their father, the devil’s fate has already been determined because “These have chosen their own ways, and their soul delights in their abominations…” Isaiah 66:3. I was NEVER taught this biblical truth and I certainly wasn’t allowed to believe it once I discovered its relevance. The church community tried to KEEP me from believing it but God has shown me the truth of it all–in His word and in my life.
- Being well-behaved with good manners and articulating words perfectly are simply another means that abusers use to make us feel they have a right to judge us and waste precious brain cells too. I wish I’d have spent time with the few people I’ve known over the years who do have a conscience and have been through hard times. This would’ve been time well spent. They didn’t even notice that I didn’t display perfect behavior or pronounce every word just right. Unfortunately we were all going through the same honing process and didn’t realize it and we were in the midst of raising the many children we couldn’t afford or figure out how to guide because none of the Christian books we read explained it so we were just trying anything thinking if we just did MORE, all would be well.
- Marriage and children are not God’s plan for everyone. Jesus didn’t say that we needed to have kids in order to please Him. He did forewarn us that when the end times comes it will be hard on nursing mothers. And Jesus (in His word) is always about our individual relationship with Him and God and how we are to view Him and how we are to view our biological families. Matthew 12:50. And if He does put it on your heart to marry, there’s no hurry, no pressure. He’ll guide you.
If I had to do it all over again my life would be completely different and as a result I would not be the person I am today. I’m not saying I’m grateful that I am this person just that I wouldn’t be who I am if I were given the chance to change it all. So that means that any of the hard, hard, super hard wisdom that I have been forced to learn is in spite of what I want and thus it only comes from GOD himself, so if it blesses anyone else, you can thank HIM. I would have high-tailed it years ago and found a nice cave to live in with maybe God sending some food on the wings of a dove or some thing like he does. And I’d remind him every time he visited me, that he was to tell no one where I was, and that I need several decades of no emotional and spiritual rape in order to be well rested enough to be prepared to be around other humans. I’ve been sucked so dry from them all!
So there’s my Christmas card! (I stopped doing Xmas cards years ago. Another of the social norms that kept me feeling guilty —like I needed to do more and more).
I would LOVE to receive a card in the mail like this. I would laugh and cry and be amazed that somebody else got it, and I would hold onto them and love them.
An anonymous reader left this comment on our post Don’t Fall for the Abuser’s “Repentance” — Lessons from Zacchaeus. It was so good we wanted to give everyone the opportunity to see it. Thank you, Anonymous!