Don Hennessy and Barbara Roberts talk about Domestic Violence and Abuse, Part 2

Don Hennessy & Barbara Roberts talk about Domestic Violence and Abuse, Part 2.

Chapters from the video

00:38 Don Hennessy’s new definition of domestic abuse.
Don Hennessy defines domestic abuse as a process of seduction and coercion, which is founded on mind-control, by which a psychephile establishes sexual dominance over his partner. All the other issues that target women normally mention (financial abuse, isolation, etc.) are actually smokescreens for the intention of the man. Don calls those things symptoms of abuse rather than the abuse itself. The real abuse is the sexual domination which the man has achieved by mind-controlling the woman.

02:24 The abuser modifies his facade to the particular woman he’s targeting.
They all have the capacity to tailor their facade to the particular woman they’re targeting. They attune to her, rapidly figure out what interests her, and modify their facade so it appeals to her interests, personality, and personal history. Abusive men somewhat differ from each other in the behaviours they engage in to cast a smokescreen over their intention, but as Don explained in my first conversation with him, all smokescreen behaviours are designed to distract people from the abuser’s real intention.

05:49 How one of Don’s clients was groomed.
From the first night they met, this man was strategising to win her trust so he could sexually abuse her.

09:40 Don’t assume you’ll recognise the next abuser who targets you.
If you think you can detect these men because you’ve known one of them, the next one can easily befriend your mind and you won’t realise his wicked intention until you’ve become strongly attached to him.

11:38 Cobras & Pitbulls
John Gottman studied domestic abusers as they argued with their wives to see whether the man’s heart rate changed during the argument. The men fell into two types: Cobras (25%) and Pitbulls (75%). In the couples Gottman studied, women married to Cobras were sadder, more frightened, and less angry than women married to Pitbulls. Learn more about Cobras and Pitbulls.

15:09 How Don’s colleagues have responded to his ideas .
In the late 90s Ellen Pence (the Duluth Model) didn’t accept Don’s idea that the male intimate abuser is primarily a sexual offender, nor did the Cork team. The Cork team was breaking up, but one woman on the team decided Don was right. Several of the Cork people have now come to accept Don’s idea. But very few people have been willing to go all the way with him, most people want to have some kind of sympathy for the abusive man.

20:41 The Catholic church has empowered abusive husbands.
For centuries Rome said that procreation is the sole purpose of marriage. (This was Rome’s interpretation of “increase and multiply and fill the earth” (God’s instruction to Adam and Eve in Genesis 2). Now Rome says marriage has two purposes: procreation and companionship, but many Catholics still think that when a husband wants sex the wife must make herself available.

22:58 Psychephiles compared to pedophiles
Grooming an adult is a longer more difficult operation, while a child’s thinking is easier to control. The psychephile needs continuing sexual access to the target once the abuse starts to happen, but the pedophile can have many targets on the go at the same time so if he loses access to one he can easily switch to another.

26:10 Psychephiles may be abusing many women at the same time.
Every psychephile abuses the woman he lives with, but some psychephiles abuse multiple women concurrently. Some psychephiles keep a second target woman as a mistress. Some watch porn and visit prostitutes. Some have affairs and one-night stands. Some do all these things.

26:54 It’s never ethical to pay money for sexual gratification.
There is no such thing as ‘ethical porn’. Every man who watches porn is taking advantage of abused women. A vast majority of women in the commercial sex industry were sexually abused in their childhood, see fightthenewdrug.org/what-causes-people-to-choose-to-go-into-the-porn-industry. Some survivors of childhood rape are not personally targeted by the human predators who deliberately trap and traffic people into those industries. For example, a female CSA victim who is growing towards adulthood may ‘recruit herself’ into the sexploitation industry. (This also applies to male CSA victims, but I didn’t mention it in the video.)

28:46 Is Don biased against men?  
Don was sexually abused by men in his childhood, but this motivated him to try to see if he could help abusive men. Don has tracked pedophiles and psychephiles, and they all end up emotionally alone. These men don’t develop any emotional depth. They all end up abandoned by society and they all die alone, which is sad. Don has never seen these any of these men change. He’s seen them go to their graves believing they were entitled to do what they what did.

33:37 Mind control has become the main tactic of psychephiles.
Legal and social changes have make it harder for men to sexually dominate their wives, so abusive men, being very practical, have adapted their approach by using mind control as their main strategy.

37:23 Coercive control laws in different countries  
Coercive control is mind control. America is behind the rest of the English speaking world in introducing laws against coercive control. The more levels of government a country has, the harder it is to get laws changed. America believes it is the home of psychiatry and psychology and that if you can’t explain it by those those two sciences it has no valid existence. Don’s theories aren’t psychological, they’re theories on what we call good and evil and the practice of evil.

41:15 What psychephiles do in the bedroom
Don gives examples from his clients.
1. Her husband was regularly sodomising her. He’s now doing seven years in jail for sodomy.
2. Her husband painted her as crazy and had her hospitalised in a psych ward. He brainwashed the kids to believe their mother is mad, and he now has full custody of the kids.
3. The day of their marriage she was walking to the church praying a meteorite would strike the church and everybody involved would die, because she knew she was doing the wrong thing but she couldn’t stop it herself. She spent 20 years living with this man who was an appalling rapist.

45:42 Victims always resist the abuse.  
Sometimes the victim can only resist in the privacy of her own mind. The woman praying a meteorite would strike the church was affirming her dignity by thinking this prayer.

47:42 The Paper Doll.
The abused woman hides herself, she goes back into her own intuition but doesn’t share it with the world any more. Barbara felt like a cardboard cut-out doll in her marriage.