A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

Dignity compared to Pride; Forgive and Remember – by Jane Bartelmes

[September 14, 2022: There have been some changes made to this post. For more information, read the Editors’ notes at the bottom of the post. Editors.]

Is Your Dignity at Stake, or Just Your Pride?

Forgive and Remember.

To read these two excellent articles by Jane Bartelmes, click here [Internet Archive link].

Jane is the author of My Path from Doormat To Dignity, a book which I (Barb Roberts) am going to read. Jane’s website is Doormat to Dignity [Internet Archive link]
[September 14, 2022: Jane Bartelmes’ website doormattodignity.com is no longer online and she doesn’t have a replacement website. Click here to read a recommendation for her book. Click here to order her book. Editors.]

[September 14, 2022: Editors’ notes:

—For some comments made prior to September 14, 2022 that quoted from the post, the text in the comment that was quoted from the post might no longer be an exact match.
—For some comments made prior to September 14, 2022 that quoted from the post, the text in the comment that was quoted from the post might no longer be found in the post.
If you would like to compare the text in the comments made prior to September 14, 2022 that quoted from the post to the post as it is now (September 14, 2022), click here [Internet Archive link] for the most recent Internet Archive copy of the post.]

5 Comments

  1. James

    Hi, Jane,
    I have read your articles and can thoroughly recommend them.

    You make clear and important distinctions between Pride and Dignity. You make a great case for Pride being impulsive and Dignity being measured: Pride attacks while Dignity defends.

    I was taken by this quote from your essay on “Forgiveness” —

    Forgiveness should not be confused with reconciliation; in other words, forgiveness doesn’t mean signing up to be someone’s perpetual punching bag!

    Boom! So well said.
    While it is wise to let go of anger over the past before it turns to bitterness, we need to discern what the person’s behaviour means for us moving forward.

    Great articles. Thank you.

    • I agree that Jane makes a great case for:

      Pride being impulsive and Dignity being measured: Pride attacks while Dignity defends.

      That reminds me of your article, James, which talks about self-defence and the right and wrong use of violence.

      For those who have not read James’s article, here it is: Jesus on violence.

      • Jane

        Barbara, thanks for posting these links!

    • Jane

      Hi, James,

      Thanks so very much!

      I just read your article: “Jesus on Violence!”

      Amazingly good article! You did a great job of untangling numerous Scriptural misunderstands and confusion….especially “Turn the other cheek.”

      I would love to send you a fee copy of my book, “Doormat to Dignity”. I learned growing up to tolerate emotional abuse, and misunderstandings of Scripture seemed to support my dysfunction. My book chronicles my journey to dignity and addresses many of these same issues….

      My best, Jane.

      [Paragraph breaks added to enhance readability. Editors.]

      • James

        Thank you very much, Jane, for your kind words and kind offer. I’ll be in touch via your blog.

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