Barbara Roberts ♦ 25th April 2021 ♦ 4 Comments
1. When Joseph tested his brothers so stringently, he came from a position of robust health, self-confidence and social approval. The abuse Joseph suffered, whilst grave, was not so extreme, soul-destroying or prolonged that he was permanently damaged. Joseph’s trauma was relatively light compared to the trauma of long-term domestic abuse, repeated rape, child abuse, …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 24th March 2021 ♦ 15 Comments
Update: I have altered this post after receiving constructive criticism from Sister. I no longer agree with everything I wrote in the first version but am keeping the first version in the public domain as a PDF (link). It can also be found at the Web Archive — Barbara Roberts, April 16th, 2021 *** Joseph’s …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 2nd March 2021 ♦ 3 Comments
Joseph would have been glad to see his older brothers again, but he still did not know how far he could trust them. In order to test them he had set them up with charges of theft (see part 2 of this series). Now he needed to see how they would respond. (Gen 44:14 -16 …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 20th February 2021 ♦ 5 Comments
Joseph, as Governor of Egypt, had begun testing his brothers by falsely accusing them of being spies. He had retained Simeon in custody and instructed the other nine brothers to return home and come again to Egypt bringing their youngest brother Benjamin with them. (see part 1 of this series) Their father Jacob was very …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 5th February 2021 ♦ 5 Comments
Is Your Dignity at Stake, or Just Your Pride? Forgive and Remember. To read these two excellent articles by Jane Bartlemas, click here. Jane is the author of My Path from Doormat To Dignity, a book which I (Barb Roberts) am going to read. Jane’s website is Doormat to Dignity
Guest ♦ 13th November 2017 ♦ 56 Comments
While driving about this morning, I listened to a radio interview about the shooter who killed and hurt people in a church in Texas. It turns out this man had a history of domestic abuse that the military forgot to report onto his permanent record. This error made it possible for him to continue to purchase …
The definition of abuse: A pattern of coercive control (ongoing actions or inactions) that proceeds from a mentality of entitlement to power, whereby, through intimidation, manipulation and isolation, the abuser keeps his* target subordinated and under his control. This pattern can be emotional, verbal, psychological, spiritual, sexual, financial, social and physical. Not all these elements need be present, e.g., physical abuse may not be part of it.
The definition of domestic abuser: a family member or dating partner (current or ex) who has a profound mentality of entitlement to the possession of power and control over the one s/he* chooses to mistreat. This mentality of entitlement defines the very essence of the abuser. The abuser believes he is justified in using evil tactics to obtain and maintain that power and control.
* Sometimes the genders are reversed—see our tag for 'male survivors' (tags tab in the top menu).
To say that abusers cannot change removes responsibility for sin. They can change, but the vast majority choose not to, which is what the experts state. When God punishes them, their punishment is just. Abusers have options for treatment and are accountable.
Once the marriage covenant is broken through abuse, the abused partner does not need to stay in the marriage waiting for the abuser to change. The abuser's recovery is a separate issue and his change is his own responsibility, not his wife's. This is the mistake most churches make. These churches have over-sentimentalized marriage and are legalists.
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