Deception and Abuse: The Lure and Hook of the Lie — taken from Anna Salter
[September 14, 2022: There have been some changes made to this post. For more information, read the Editors’ notes at the bottom of the post. Editors.]
(John 8:31-32 ESV) So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
In discussing whether it is really true that most abusers / predators are victims of past abuse themselves, Anna Salter writes:
….the notion that most offenders were victims has spread throughout the field of sexual abuse and is strangely comforting for most professionals. For one thing, it gives meaning to the behavior of offenders and at the same time allows people to feel badly for them. I remember a cartoon in which a man is lying in the gutter, badly beaten. Two social workers stand over him, and one says to the other, “The man who did this really needs help.” If offenders are just victims, then no one has to face the reality of malevolence [i.e, the existence of pure evil just for evil’s sake], the fact that there are people out there who prey on others for reasons we simply don’t understand. (p 74)
….Many true things frighten people, and lying about them doesn’t help….
….Probably I am a goody two-shoes — certainly, an obsessive academic….But a couple of decades of swimming in deception has left me holding onto the true things, clutching them in my little paws, turning them over and over. A true thing has a different ring, a different energy about it. It leaves little wake and does not disturb the complex inter-weaving all around it the way a lie does.
These lies: They glitter, spin, and undulate like lures trailing through clear water, but always, always there is a hook embedded somewhere under all those feathers. Call me an obsessive academic. I’ll check every figure in this book before I release it. It’s not a moral stand. It’s just a need for one true thing. (pp 74-75, Predators, Pedophiles, Rapists, & Other Sex Offenders [*Affiliate link])
Most all abuse victims who have begun to see the light of truth will resonate with Salter’s statements here, especially perhaps about holding on to the true things, turning them over and over. That is why journals are so valuable. When the fog of deception is swirling and you are beginning to doubt your own perceptions and memories, you can pick up this objective, historic document of truth and hear that “different ring” that it has that sets you free instead of hooking you with a lie.
(1 Thessalonians 5:19-21 ESV) (19) Do not quench the Spirit. (20) Do not despise prophecies, (21) but test everything; hold fast what is good.
One of the quickest ways, therefore, to quench the ministry of the Spirit of truth is to fail to test EVERYTHING. How to do this test? Compare every teaching, every statement with the Word of God. Always. Then reject what is evil and false, and hold onto what is good.
[September 14, 2022: Editors’ notes:
—For some comments made prior to September 14, 2022 that quoted from the post, the text in the comment that was quoted from the post might no longer be an exact match.
—For some comments made prior to September 14, 2022 that quoted from the post, the text in the comment that was quoted from the post might no longer be found in the post.
If you would like to compare the text in the comments made prior to September 14, 2022 that quoted from the post to the post as it is now (September 14, 2022), click here [Internet Archive link] for the most recent Internet Archive copy of the post.]