JUSTICE: a poem by a woman who was sexually, emotionally, mentally & spiritually abused

This poem was sent to Barb by a woman who was sexually, emotionally, mentally and spiritually abused by her pastor. When (a few of) his sins were exposed, all he got was a slap on the wrist by the “denominational council” and a whole year of free counseling for himself and for his marriage.

Here is what she says:

I was never heard.  My spirit was left for dead. And I was changed in the deepest way that will leave me forever scarred.  And no one seemed to care.  I hurt so much and no one can ever fix that.  I live with it.  I let go and forgive and I keep living with this scar hidden under my heart in shame.  This poem is all I have left to show for my experience.  Feel free to trash it, post it, curse it, or pray over it.  I just want someone… someone that matters… to hear my voice…..

One of these days
I’ll find justice.
Justice will prevail,
Upon the spineless snail,
That leaves an evil trail
Of manipulating spells
There will be justice.

Evil deeds unveiled,
Your soul he’ll try to sell
For his perverse cocktail
His pride begins to swell.
And kindness soon goes stale.
But there will be justice.

And soon the rotten smell,
Of the vomit he expels
On the church’s Holy Grail,
Will tell the ugly tale
Of lies and justice.

One of these days
I’ll find justice.
And there will be hell
When I find justice….


22 thoughts on “JUSTICE: a poem by a woman who was sexually, emotionally, mentally & spiritually abused”

  1. This poem is, indeed, a cry for justice.

    Hear the word of the LORD, ye that tremble at his word; Your brethren that hated you, that cast you out for my name’s sake, said, Let the LORD be glorified: but he shall appear to your joy, and they shall be ashamed. Isaiah 66:5

  2. Dear Sister–Please know that your heartbroken cry has been read by many sympathetic and compassionate people. I am so sorry that your trust was abused in this terrible way and that no one in a position of authority has acknowledged the legitimacy of your betrayal. The justice you seek will surely come upon this predator. Your wounding will be healed. The Lord our God is a faithful God and this evil will be exposed. Those who cover sin and reject the wounded ones will suffer for their hard hearts. Thank you for your bravery in telling your plight.

    1. Barb’s poem is similar to my story and exactly what I am going through. Thank you Bro. Michael Affleck for the scripture. I claim it in Jesus Name.

      1. Just to clear [clarify?] my comment. I faced abuses from my husband. In the eyes of law he is scott free, I await justice from my God from the Courts in Heaven.

  3. Yes, one day she will find justice. She was never heard. Her spirit left for dead. Changed in the deepest way. Oh…my! So sad. To a much lesser degree I went through some of these feelings when the pastor was leering at me and nearly stalking me in the church and the leaders would barely do anything to him compared to treating me like a troublemaker and as if perhaps I was partly at fault. My so-called friends there I suspect were targeted by the leaders to not believe me or they just ended up morally prostituting themselves to stay in good standing.

    But this girl… Too sad. I pray she finds safe people that don’t try to rush her to heal. I pray God heals her completely and she will find justice hopefully here while she’s on earth or at least compensation. I’m so sorry this happened to you. It’s happened to others. ((Hugs))

  4. There will indeed be justice. That is the one thing we can be absolutely certain of. Yes, sister, there will be justice. I hope and pray that you see justice in this life. But even if not, the God of the Universe is perfectly Just and He will see to it.

    I pray for your healing, as well. So many of us do, indeed, know how shattered you feel.

  5. Hugs honey.

    Reading your poem is like reading David’s psalms as he also cried to God for justice. God’s heart also bleeds for those who have been hurt.

    But thanks for allowing Barb to share it.

    It has helped me a great deal.

  6. What powerful words in your poem. They hit me in a place with the same kind of hurts. I’m so very sorry. I know those words are not much after what you’ve been through, but I do pray for comfort and peace for you.

    1. Hi Liz welcome to the blog. As a precaution for your safety, I altered your screen name and removed the other info which could have identified you (the URL to your blog and the other URL). We prefer readers not to give links in their comments unless they are linking to a site we already have recommended. We vet every resource before we recommend it on the blog. See our policy about this by clicking here.

      Here is our New Users’ page which we encourage all new readers to have a look at.

  7. Sometimes humanly speaking, there just are no words.

    But God has words: “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Psalm 56:8

    Be comforted in your promise-keeping Lord, who will one day right every wrong.

  8. This poem literally poured from my heart after getting free from 32 years of the chaos of an abuser:


    How sad the day a marriage ends,
    So needlessly from pride and sin.
    Oh the cost that never ends
    While the dawn of new life begins.
    In all my efforts to obey,
    I lost the voice to ever say,
    A single need or hurt of mine
    Trying endlessly to toe his line.
    I lost myself, I lost my Jesus, I lost my joy, my life, my reason.
    But in this quiet place today
    With hammer and accusing tongue away
    I see, fighting to face what I feared
    Is what kept You, Lord, from feeling near
    There is no fear in Your love
    Flowing real peace from above
    All my sorrow is not loss
    We must suffer and endure the cost
    Of a life of freedom again to gain
    Where perfect peace will steal our pain.

    1. Thanks for sharing your poem with us, Leeanne. 🙂

      And I see this is your second comment on this blog but we didn’t welcome you when you made your first one. So — welcome!

      And we always like to encourage new readers to check out our New Users’ Info page as it gives tips for how to guard your safety while commenting on the blog.

      If you want us to change your screen name, email twbtc.acfj@gmail.com

  9. My heart breaks for this dear woman and I would encourage her to listen to Jeff Crippen’s series on Revelation so she can see what is unseen! It is how we sit in the injustice on this earth. We must see what is unseen!

    1. UPDATE Sept 2021: I have come to believe that Jeff Crippen does not practise what he preaches. He vilely persecuted an abuse victim and spiritually abused many other people in the Tillamook congregation. Go here to read the evidence. Jeff has not gone to the people that he spiritually and emotionally abused. He has not apologised to them, let alone asked for their forgiveness.


      Here is the link to Jeff’s sermon series on Revelation.

  10. The so-called pastor who was so happy to help my then spouse destroy my children and heap more abuse onto me is still a respected member of his Baptist denomination. In fact he now counsels other pastors.

    My solace is in knowing that God knows the truth, and will not be mocked. Because as I discovered he was a wolf in sheeps clothing. No one cared to know the truth, or showed any concern for my family. It was all there to see. But everyone just looked away.

    1. I’m glad that in the new heavens and new earth, there will be no marrying between men and women. I have a suspicion that there might be a gender imbalance because so many men who were wolves in sheep’s clothing in this temporal life are not going to be in heaven.

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