A cry from the heart
Here is email I received today from a survivor which I’m publishing with her permission. I’m sure many of our readers will relate.
The closer it gets to the end of the divorce I doubt myself more and think did I make more of this than I should have? Should I have tried harder in counseling? My soon to be ex and his family make everything my fault and continue to deny any abuse and try to make me look crazy and religious. (it’s all about relationship)
I’m really hurting and emotional the closer it gets to the end. I’ve never been so hurt by someone and his family in so many ways. I know God cares…it just seems like He doesn’t hear me. (I know His ways are not ours) I’m scared because I’ve gone too far with God to go back to the way it was before, but I’m mad because my entire life has been turned upside down and in chaos. (I’m sure this sounds really selfish…frustrated because my plans didn’t work out) does it really get better? I’m scared I’m getting bitter and I’ve never been to a point where I’d rather die than live because it hurts so much. Is this normal? Do other people feel this way? I am still very isolated…I have no family in the state I live in and am very bullied by my soon to be ex and his giant family. I have two girl friends I trust. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up! How selfish is that?!? I’m tired of the fight and struggle. I hope Christ comes back soon!!!