Barbara Roberts ♦ 25th October 2019 ♦ 4 Comments
The Bible says that we can be blinded by Satan and by other human beings. Some of the humans who blind us are consciously working for Satan. Some of the humans who blind us are unconsciously working for Satan. Perhaps they have to some degree been blinded by other humans who are consciously working for …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 10th June 2018 ♦ 4 Comments
This is Paul’s order: that good works grow out of the Spirit, the Spirit comes by faith, and faith comes by hearing the word of God, when the glad tidings and promises that God has made to us in Christ are preached truly, and received in the ground of the heart. Of this – God’s …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 15th May 2018 ♦ 10 Comments
Paul was most likely conveying that abused women deserve sympathy and empathy for the underserved suffering they have endured. Paul was probably indicating that we ought to feel compassion for these women, recognising that they are worthy and good people, but relatively powerless and weak against the crafty tactics of abusers and their allies. In …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 7th May 2018 ♦ 22 Comments
When Paul wrote to Timothy about pseudo-christian men who beguile women in order to take them captive, Paul used the Greek word for women in its diminutive form (gunaikarion). How have English Bibles translated that? And what does this have to do with misogyny in the church today? The way most English Bibles have translated gunaikarion …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 16th April 2018 ♦ 26 Comments
Men who abuse women tend to target women who are: weighed down with sins led astray by their desires/passions/feelings always learning and never able to come to a knowledge of the truth ‘little women’ (the Greek is a single word which is the diminutive of women) That’s what the Bible says in 2 Timothy 3:6-7. This …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 1st March 2018 ♦ 29 Comments
It is difficult to imagine what it must be like living with a partner who wants to abuse you. (131*) A client [of a counselor or helping professional] who is being abused is different from a non-abused client. She [usually] presents herself in the language of the abuser. She sees herself as inadequate and responsible. We …
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The definition of abuse: A pattern of coercive control (ongoing actions or inactions) that proceeds from a mentality of entitlement to power, whereby, through intimidation, manipulation and isolation, the abuser keeps his* target subordinated and under his control. This pattern can be emotional, verbal, psychological, spiritual, sexual, financial, social and physical. Not all these elements need be present, e.g., physical abuse may not be part of it.
The definition of domestic abuser: a family member or dating partner (current or ex) who has a profound mentality of entitlement to the possession of power and control over the one s/he* chooses to mistreat. This mentality of entitlement defines the very essence of the abuser. The abuser believes he is justified in using evil tactics to obtain and maintain that power and control.
* Sometimes the genders are reversed—see our tag for 'male survivors' (tags tab in the top menu).
To say that abusers cannot change removes responsibility for sin. They can change, but the vast majority choose not to, which is what the experts state. When God punishes them, their punishment is just. Abusers have options for treatment and are accountable.
Once the marriage covenant is broken through abuse, the abused partner does not need to stay in the marriage waiting for the abuser to change. The abuser's recovery is a separate issue and his change is his own responsibility, not his wife's. This is the mistake most churches make. These churches have over-sentimentalized marriage and are legalists.
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