Leslie Vernick quotes from “Not Under Bondage” in the post in the link below. Some of you might like to send your pastor the link, especially if your pastor is the kind of person who may not be willing to read our blog, but would be open to something published by the Association of Biblical Counselors.
Is Emotional Abuse Grounds for Biblical Separation? — by Leslie Vernick
published 9 Sept 2013 at the Association of Biblical Counselors’ blog
(thanks to the pastor who tipped me off about this post by Vernick :) )
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Thank you Barbara for uplifting one another. God send both you and Leslie to me when I was in a pit and now have been set free. I rejoice in what He has called you both to do in telling truth to those who are on this journey. Praying for you both. I have some catch up to do on both of your articles. I have been down ill the past couple of weeks and am starting to feel alive again. Please pray for me, I would like to be able to go back to work on Monday.
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Brenda ((hugs)) I hate being sick, I’ll pray for your job and an easy return
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Okay, will pray. :)
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Congratulations Barbara on getting the word out and on being referred to as someone who’s done extensive research on the subject! I hope more and more biblical counselors fine your work and change the way they counsel abused spouses.
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Fantastic! Great job, Barbara (and Leslie)!
I also liked the way Leslie talked about parity covenants. Why is it that pastors and Christian counselors always talk about the marriage covenant as an unbreakable covenant? I remember my senior pastor insisting that in a marriage covenant, one person should give 100%, even if the other person gives 0%, and that it is an eternal covenant. Why do they continue to give unbiblical counsel?
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I never did understand that one. A covenant is between 2, a contract. If one of the parties doesn’t keep up their end of the deal by adultery, abuse or abandoning the other, that makes the covenant broken. It is no longer sealed. It is no longer a covenant or never was. Saying a bunch of words that you don’t mean does not make a covenant.
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I remember my senior pastor insisting that in a marriage covenant, one person should give 100%, even if the other person gives 0%, and that it is an eternal covenant. Why do they continue to give unbiblical counsel?
In her new book The Emotionally Destructive Marriage, Vernick says, “I’ve never attended a marriage ceremony where only one person took vows.” p. 56
Neither have I.
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