Barbara Roberts ♦ 23rd March 2020 ♦ 13 Comments
Domestic abuse and family violence are bound to increase because of the new laws and policies that have been put in place. Many victims of abuse are stuck at home with their abusers because of lockdowns of non-essential services, people being urged to work from home, and people being ordered or choosing to self-isolate in …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 2nd February 2020 ♦ 15 Comments
Evildoers lurk to snatch the poor, seizing and ravishing the people they target. Wolves hunt to catch sheep. Let me show you some words and passages from the Bible which say this. I first published this post at The Mystery Of Iniquity (my blog which deals with extreme abuse) but the post is equally relevant …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 25th October 2019 ♦ 4 Comments
The Bible says that we can be blinded by Satan and by other human beings. Some of the humans who blind us are consciously working for Satan. Some of the humans who blind us are unconsciously working for Satan. Perhaps they have to some degree been blinded by other humans who are consciously working for …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 31st August 2019 ♦ 17 Comments
Does Scripture indicate that MEN are more prone to sexual sin than WOMEN? The sexual sins of both sexes are recounted in the Bible. Is God pointing the finger at one sex in particular? For those who are stuck in the sinkhole of sexual immorality, I urge you to read to the bottom of this …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 9th June 2019 ♦ 68 Comments
If you have ever felt suicidal, dear reader, what strategies have you used to avoid ending your life? Maybe by sharing our experiences we can help others. Helovesme said: I tried to kill myself because I had been abused for so long, and I couldn’t take it anymore. The Lord used it to get a …
Barbara Roberts ♦ 1st January 2019 ♦ 4 Comments
A reader says: I am a post-divorce survivor of domestic violence. My family have grown and changed a lot along with me through this process… from being unwitting allies of my X, to now maintaining no contact and helping me escape from my abuser. My kids have to have regular visitation with their Dad by …
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The definition of abuse: A pattern of coercive control (ongoing actions or inactions) that proceeds from a mentality of entitlement to power, whereby, through intimidation, manipulation and isolation, the abuser keeps his* target subordinated and under his control. This pattern can be emotional, verbal, psychological, spiritual, sexual, financial, social and physical. Not all these elements need be present, e.g., physical abuse may not be part of it.
The definition of domestic abuser: a family member or dating partner (current or ex) who has a profound mentality of entitlement to the possession of power and control over the one s/he* chooses to mistreat. This mentality of entitlement defines the very essence of the abuser. The abuser believes he is justified in using evil tactics to obtain and maintain that power and control.
* Sometimes the genders are reversed—see our tag for 'male survivors' (tags tab in the top menu).
To say that abusers cannot change removes responsibility for sin. They can change, but the vast majority choose not to, which is what the experts state. When God punishes them, their punishment is just. Abusers have options for treatment and are accountable.
Once the marriage covenant is broken through abuse, the abused partner does not need to stay in the marriage waiting for the abuser to change. The abuser's recovery is a separate issue and his change is his own responsibility, not his wife's. This is the mistake most churches make. These churches have over-sentimentalized marriage and are legalists.
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