Meredith Miller on abuse dynamics — from the micro to the macro level.

Meredith Miller is a trauma coach. She teaches the mindsets, skills and actions to help people recover after relational trauma.

In this video she talks about cognitive dissonance, emotional short-circuiting, trauma-based mind control, and awakening to the fact that you are being abused.

She describes how having power over others is addictive. The abuser wants to repeat the thrill of wielding power and control over others. In order to get the same thrill, the abuser will become more and more abusive over time. He cannot stop his slide into deeper wickedness. It is inevitable.

She discusses the similarities between inter-personal abuse at the micro level (one person abusing another) and systemic abuse right up to the macro level… families, social groups, cults, society at large.

For victims, she recommends the relentless facing of reality (writing a ‘sobriety list’). But the person has to want to know the truth. You cannot make a victim wake up. Awakening is always spontaneous — it’s a visceral experience.

Trigger warning. What Meredith says may trigger memories of abuse, or it may challenge some of your ideas about what is going on in the world.

I’m keen to hear your responses to Meredith’s presentation. I’m open to all your thoughts and responses. Please be kind to me and to other readers. We can have different opinions and perspectives but still be respectful to each other.

Meredith Miller is interviewed by Viviane Fischer and Reiner Fuellmich, Nov 12, 2021.  (Meredith’s name is mis-spelled on the screen.)

I’ll end this post with two scriptures that came to mind as I was watching the video.

There is a spirit of addiction to delusion in the wilderness. (Jeremiah 4:11 ABP)

Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed on him, If you continue in my words, then you are my very disciples, and shall know the truth; and the truth shall make you free. (John 8:31-32 NMB)


Related reading

I Think I’m In An Abusive Relationship – With the Government! — by Ashton Warhurst, The Daily Sceptic

Does the victim recognize the abusive patterns? Yes, and no. And then, by degrees, YES!

The Myth of “Stockholm Syndrome” and other labels which are used to discredit and pathologize victims of abuse

15 thoughts on “Meredith Miller on abuse dynamics — from the micro to the macro level.”

  1. Is this discussion related to the pandemic? I understand the micro but would someone care to comment on the macro?

    1. Hi Searcher0112. I believe the discussion in the video is related to the so-called pandemic.

      You asked about the macro. As I understand (this is my perspective) the way major institutions around the world have responded to the so-called pandemic is to exert power and control unwisely and unjustly. They have also told many lies. They have run out a dominant narrative which has all the hallmarks of abuse at a macro level. The covid-response measures have taken away many people’s freedom of choice, limited people’s ability to make free and fully informed decisions to protect their own safety, well-being, right to bodily integrity, health (mental and physical), financial security, and access to information.

      There has been censorship by the mainstream media, governments, the most commonly used social media platforms (e.g. YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) and search engines (e.g. Google). People who have views and evidence which challenges the dominant narrative or which calls into question the dominant narrative have been censored, ignored, silenced, deprived of their ability to earn a living… their characters have been assassinated, their voices have been muzzled. They have been scorned, derided, mocked, slandered and shunned. This includes many professionals — scientists, doctors, mental health professionals, nurses, lawyers, financial experts, police, academics, teachers — who can see many flaws and contradictions and falsehoods in the dominant narrative. Some of these professionals have been sacked. Many people have resigned from their jobs because in their profession or their job capacity they are being mandated to accept the jab (the inoculation) but they are not willing to be jabbed.

      Abusers always tell many lies. How can we discern what is a lie, what is a half-truth, and what is true, if dissident voices are being censored?

      If abuse is taking place on a world-wide level through the dominant response to the so-called pandemic, then we have a big problem! The outcome could be world-wide totalitarianism. The harm and long-term damage could be tremendous, incalculable, worse than any of the previous world wars or totalitarian states in history.

      As I understand things, Meredith Miller and the people interviewing her on the video all believe that the dominant response to the so-called pandemic is rightly characterised as abuse at a world-wide level.

      1. Barbara,

        Thank you for your reply. I appreciate the explanation. My experience with abuse in the micro level is a very personal one, and I am thankful to be out of that 40 year marriage. I then married a fellow who was the polar opposite of an abuser, and we spent six rewarding years together before he passed away earlier this year of Covid related pneumonia. Caring for him as he passed was a privilege.

        While I respect all opinions, my experience dictates a differing view. I do see, however, with your explanation, how abuse on a macro level is possible. Understanding this perspective, is that why the discussion in the video was so veiled? Listening to it, I felt like the purpose was just out of reach, and I waited to hear the direct and plainly stated point. Thus the question in my original post.

        Thanks again for your response.

      2. Dear Searcher0112, I am very sorry for your loss — being bereaved of a loving husband. It is late here and I have a big day tomorrow so that’s all I can sensibly write just now.

  2. This was excellent, Barbara. Thank you. Having read Steve Hassan’s book on cults ages ago I started noticing similarities between recent-ish world events and cults / abusive relationships last year.

    I found her comment on keeping a record in bullet form of events when one is coming out of the fog of abuse helpful. Perhaps we should be doing that, too, for what’s going on these days in world-wide events. Would be a bit of an eye-opener I think. Otherwise… we are like the proverbial frog in the pot of water being brought to boiling point. 😦

    1. Thanks Megg. 🙂 Like you, I though Meredith’s suggestion about keeping a bullet-point record of the abusive events was a good idea. I did that once when I was in my first marriage. Sadly (but understandably) I tore up the record when I went back into the fog. I wish I had kept that piece of paper!

  3. I finally got around to watching the video this morning. First thoughts: It’s a whole lot to digest, a lot of terminology I don’t understand real well. Further thoughts: the speakers seem to have a big problem with what the government is telling us about Covid. I don’t blame them at all. I can’t help but notice that the large Amish and Mennonite community all around me locally here are no sicker than the general population in spite of the fact they as a population are very vaccine hesitant and are reluctant to do the social distancing thing and don’t do it very well.

    Having said that, I am scared. A few weeks ago the woman I care for tested positive for Covid, so I had to get tested, and my test was positive as well. In spite of the fact that she had her 2 shots, but not the booster. She didn’t get real sick for which I am thankful but I really can’t say I got sick at all. The daughter told me they think I gave it to her because I am not vaccinated. But her two shots didn’t protect her! So what gives? Isn’t it just as likely she gave it to me? All the same, I’m afraid the daughter’s view matters a whole lot more in this world than mine. If I will be required to get the shots to keep my job, I’m not sure if I will comply or if I will just quit.

    All this at a time when I am seriously rethinking everything I have known as a Mennonite ever since reading Don Hennessy’s books. Yes, it had that effect on me though that was obviously not intended. I hope you are [not? We’re guessing the word “not” was accidentally omitted. Editors.] too angry with me now that I’ve admitted that. The Mennonites have so many rules, and not too much information outside the community. At least that was my experience. You want to be obedient so that you can remain in the community and be safe. Now that I’m more exposed to the wider world I see that so much of what they taught me was not really true. I had some wonderful experiences in the Mennonite community and some truly awful ones that I can’t talk about or even think about beyond a point.

    The point in the video seemed to be we all should stop being infants and grow up and make up are own minds, find our own path forward. At least that’s what I think they were saying. Not grow up and learn to obedient and submissive to a community in order to be safe. I hope I understood it correctly.

    1. I found the video a little hard to understand. It almost seemed like the speaker was trying to say something without actually saying it. I got the vaccination, so as to continue my lifestyle and do my best to protect others. This seems a reasonable way to ‘love my neighbour,’ I am aware of inconsistencies around the whole vaccine issue. However, I am not putting my trust in a vaccine or a community, or anything else. I am putting my trust in Jesus. ‘Trust the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding.’ The world issues are so complex at the moment that it is impossible to arrive at answers with logic. I believe this is a time when whatever decisions we make, we hand it to Jesus and trust in Him. I have a feeling that perhaps that’s the whole point of the world events at the moment. For Jesus to once again take His place in our lives as the author and finisher of our faith. I did understand the points on Macro and Micro abuse. However, if this video was about the government’s handling of COVID, which others and myself seem to feel it may be, then why not just say so openly?

      1. Hi Sandy, I do not judge anyone for taking the so-called vaccine. I know that people have various of reasons for taking it. I’m glad you are not putting your trust in a vaccine or a community, but rather, putting your trust in Jesus.

        You mentioned you had two reasons for taking the jab: “to continue my lifestyle and do my best to protect others.”

        What if taking the jab turns out not to be of any benefit in protecting others? That would leave only your first reason — to continue your lifestyle. What if taking the jab actually turns out to produce adverse effects in the long-term … effects so bad that your current lifestyle becomes impossible? That would mean both of your reasons did not pay off.

        For example, what if taking the jab causes long-term fertility problems for humanity at large? What if taking the jab leads to the immune system hyper-reacting at some future time when it is re-exposed to a corona virus? What if the hyper-reactivity of the immune system leads to lifelong auto-immune conditions? What if taking the jab or a booster down the track causes death? What if it causes neurological problems, heart conditions, micro-clots in various tissues and organs? What if those micro clots are in the brain and the person suffers from brain fog for the rest of their life? All these things are being reported and / or forecast by whistle-blowing scientists and doctors (as well as ordinary people who have suffered adverse effects from the jabs) who are being censored and ignored by the powers that are upholding the dominant narrative.

        You cited this scripture: Trust the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. What if the gov’ts and mainstream media are not properly informing people about the risks versus the benefits of taking the jab? That would mean that “Take it to protect others: it’s a way of loving your neighbour as yourself,” is a rationale based on lack of information and / or false information.

        I want to make it clear that if anyone has made a decision which (unknown to them) was based on lack of information or false information, the people in power who held back information or who passed out false information are the people who are most accountable for any damage that transpires. Leaders are always more accountable than sheep.

      2. Hi Sandy, I forgot to reply to the question you asked at the end of your comment.

        If this video was about the government’s handling of COVID, which others and myself seem to feel it may be, then why not just say so openly?

        I think that’s a reasonable question. I can’t speak for the people on the video, but I’ll give you my perspective. The interviewers who were speaking to Meredith Miller (Reiner Fuellmich and Vivian Fischer) are both members of the German Corona Investigative Committee — a committee set up not by the German gov’t but quite independently by Reiner and his colleagues. Since mid 2020 they have been interviewing hundreds of different experts about their views of what is happening re the Covid issue. They have interviewed doctors, scientists, financial analysts, holocaust survivors, former secret service agents, bankers, economists, lawyers, psychiatrists, psychologists, funeral directors, people who used to work for Big Pharma developing vaccines, etc. All the interviews have been gathering expert opinions from those who are being ignored, slandered and censored by mainstream media, social media ‘fact checkers’, and gov’t and international bodies like the WHO. All the interviews have been related to the covid issue and the dominant response to the so-called pandemic.

        In this particular interview with Meredith Miller, they did not spell out that they were talking about the govt’s handling of COVID, because it is ‘understood’ by those who follow their work that all their interviews are about COVID. But I can understand that for someone who had never seen any of their interviews before, the fact that they did not say that explicitly might have been a bit irritating.

    2. Dear Momtomyson, I have heard many reports that the Amish who are vaccine hesitant (or even vaccine resistant?) are not sicker than the general population. So your report is not the first time I have heard that.

      There could be many reasons why the Amish are not sicker than the general population. I’m only speculating here, based on my limited knowledge of the Amish. They grow their own food. If they prefer organic farming methods, that might help account for their robust immune systems. A farming lifestyle, especially using horses and hand tools, exposes one to a lot of sunlight and keeps one physically fit. Sunlight enables the body to produce Vit D. Vit D is really important for our immune system to function properly. Physical fitness helps our immune system to function properly. The Amish are vaccine hesitant / or vaccine resistant. If they have been avoiding the multiple vaccination schedule which the USA mandates (or strongly promotes?) from infancy onwards, that might lead to their natural (God designed) immune system being more robust than the average American’s. If they are not complying with social distancing rules, then they are passing pathogens to each other on a routine basis. I have read that our immune systems benefit from being regularly exposed to pathogens — it tunes our immune systems up to be able to cope with (combat) each new variety of pathogen as it arrives in our community. I’m using the word pathogen to cover bacteria, viruses and any other microorganism that can cause symptoms of illness in humans.

      All my above points about things that strengthen our immune system have been ignored or very much downplayed by mainstream media and gov’t responses to covid. When I say gov’t I mean not just the US gov’t but my own gov’t here in Australia and in Canada, NZ, the UK, and Europe and quite a lot of other countries around the world.

      I’m glad Don Hennessy’s book has caused you to rethink what you had been taught in the Mennonite community. I do not mean to imply that every Mennonite teaching and practice is bad. What I’m glad about is that you have started thinking more independently. If there is anything wrong or sub-biblical in what has been taught or what has been practised by a religious or spiritual community, let that be exposed and corrected by the truth! Let it be weighed against the whole counsel of God. As believers, we are exhorted to strive to rightly divide the Word of Truth. That takes discernment. Don Hennessy’s book has honed your discernment… even though Hennessy does not talk much about the Bible, the principles he enunciates about abuse have helped you apply those principles to more rightly dividing the Word of Truth.

      It takes courage to go against the tide of a community which all believes the same thing. But just because many believe it, does not mean it is correct. Many can be deceived. Many thought Jesus was evil. Many though Jesus was an egotistical maniac. Many evil people assumed that Jesus was ambitiously jockeying for a position at the top of the pyramid. They thought he was like them. They could not conceive of someone who was wholly altruistic. They rejected all the evidence of his goodness that was before their eyes. They coerced the mob into pillorying him. (sorry I got a bit sidetracked there)

      In my opinion, you understood this rightly:
      “The point in the video seemed to be we all should stop being infants and grow up and make up are own minds, find our own path forward. Not grow up and learn to obedient and submissive to a community in order to be safe.”

      You said that you are afraid. It sounds like you are afraid of being pressured to take the jab and if you don’t you will no longer be employed at your job. I think that is a realistic fear. I feel for you! I know many others in similar positions to yours.

      Never before in the history of mankind have masses of people been coerced to take an inoculation and if they refuse they lose their livelihood.

      I could say a lot more, but I’ll end for now here.

  4. Keep this in mind when you read my comment….I only watched the first 12 minutes and 18 seconds of the video…For me, 48 minutes is a long time to invest in listening to people repeat the basic concepts of one-on-one and systemic abuse, denial, etc. (No offence to anyone intended.)

    Sandy commented (5TH DECEMBER 2021 – 2:45 PM): The world issues are so complex at the moment that it is impossible to arrive at answers with logic.


    In the original post, Barb wrote:

    I’m keen to hear your responses to Meredith’s presentation. I’m open to all your thoughts and responses. Please be kind to me and to other readers. We can have different opinions and perspectives but still be respectful to each other.

    I’m intentionally omitting a whole bunch of stuff from my comment(s) on Meredith’s presentation….at the moment, the simplest thing I can write is: My comment(s) is / are too complex to put into words right now (or at pretty much any other time for that matter)….and I’m not intending to sound condescending / insulting / cause anyone offence / etc. in writing those words. My ability to write (for the moment, anyway) stinks bigtime.

  5. I am limiting this comment to one of the very many things that resonated with me. I’m going to watch the video again a few times, to fully absorb everything.

    “That awakening happens a visceral level” – struck me deeply. I remember after abusive encounters, that I would begin to construct a lie that I could tolerate, because I couldn’t accept the truth behind the abuse. I couldn’t accept my husband didn’t love me. I couldn’t accept that he could hurt me. I couldn’t accept that his abuse was calculated and pre-meditated. I couldn’t accept that he enjoyed it. I couldn’t accept that he wanted me dead.

    Through it all God urged me to be honest with myself. I continued to construct lies that kept me trapped and suffering. I could swallow his charm and lies when I needed to avoid reality but I couldn’t be honest with myself. Until he raped me. The contempt on his face as he did it, was a visceral moment. Even I couldn’t lie to myself about that. He left scars on my soul that day.

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