Divorce in Deuteronomy 21 gives dignity and rights to the woman

Deuteronomy 21:10-14 is designed to restrain misogyny. It says a man must not demean, mistreat, afflict or brutalise his wife. In the event of divorce, he mustn’t exploit her, and he mustn’t try to coercively control her; he must let her go wherever she wishes.

This post was significantly updated in October and November, 2025.

Deuteronomy 21 stipulates that if an Israelite man chose a female prisoner of war as his wife, he must not immediately bed her. Before he took her to the marital bed, she must be allowed time to grieve her former home and family. After she had grieved her losses for a full month, he could make her his wife.

If he decided he didn’t want her as a wife, he must set her free to go wherever she wished. He must not exploit or control her: he must give her liberty (freedom of choice and movement) similar to the liberty of a native Israelite divorcée.

Please don’t think that God approves of men who compel female prisoners of war (POWs) to be their wives.

When a government legislates to regulate gambling, it that doesn’t mean that the government approves of gambling per se.

You might have the impression that the Old Testament is legalistic, full of harsh and unbending laws. You might think Mosaic Law is harsh to women and particularly harsh to wives. If that is what you think, I invite you to reconsider and re-evaluate.

A great deal of Mosaic Law deals with how people ought to relate to each other. There are many principles in Mosaic Law which we — as Christians — can and ought to use in our interpersonal relationships today. We need to use spiritualised common sense when we apply the principles of Mosaic Law to our interpersonal relationships today. We want to discern and apply the principles of Mosaic Law to our own situation and cultural context, which is in many ways different from the cultural context where Moses was imparting God’s law to the people of Israel after they had escaped from slavery in Egypt and were soon to enter the promised land.

Moses gave laws to restrain misogyny

Several Mosaic Laws were given to regulate the conduct of unrighteous men who liked to mistreat women.

Deuteronomy 21:10-14 is one of the Mosaic Laws designed to restrain misogyny. This law was not endorsing male entitlement to oppress women. This law was given to restrain men who believed they were entitled to oppress and exploit women.

Deuteronomy 21:10-14 (NMB)  (The NMB Pentateuch is William Tyndale’s translation gently updated into modern English by Ruth Magnusson Davis, Baruch House Publishing. Internet Archive link here.)

¹⁰ “When you go to war against your enemies, and the Lord your God has delivered them into your hands, and you have taken them captive, ¹¹ and you see among the captives a beautiful woman and have desire for her, so that you would have her as your wife, ¹² then bring her home to your house. And let her shave her head, trim her nails, ¹³ and put away the clothing that she was taken in. And let her remain in your house and mourn her father and her mother a month long. And after that, go in to her and marry her, and let her be your wife. ¹⁴ Or, if you have no liking for her, then let her go where she wishes; for you may not sell her for money nor make merchandise of her, because you have afflicted her.

NMB notes:
v. 11 — Here they were permitted to take a wife from the Gentiles, but were first to shave her head, cut her nails etc. This ceremony signified that she should be instructed to cut away the wantonness, superfluous attire, and sensual manners of the Gentiles, lest the clean people of the Jews should abhor her, if she continued in her old manners.
v. 14 — Have afflicted her: that is, have afflicted, vexed and grieved her by taking away her father, country, and goods, etc., as in Ps 38:6-8.

In the ancient world, a conquering nation often enslaved its prisoners of war. Mosaic Law doesn’t entirely prohibit this practice, which is probably merciful because captured prisoners might have no safe home to return to after their country had been decimated by the conquerors. The purpose of this law was to restrain Israelite men from exploiting female prisoners of war who they’d captured while battling non-Canaanite cities and nations (see Deuteronomy 20:10-18).

If an Israelite man chose to make a female prisoner of war his wife, he was not allowed at any time in the future to afflict, degrade or mistreat her, nor was he allowed to demote her status to that of a prostitute or slave.

If he decided he no longer wanted her as a wife, he must let her go wherever she wished. He must not do anything that would constrain her ability to make her own choices for her future life.

Let us examine verse 14 carefully. Here it is again in the NMB (text bolded by me).

Or, if you have no liking for her, then let her go where she wishes; for you may not sell her for money nor make merchandise of her, because you have afflicted her.

How do men make merchandise of women? Often they do it by prostituting the woman out to other men. No translation or commentary that I’ve read has mentioned this, but it’s an obvious possible meaning. Many Christians don’t want to think about how often men pimp women, but it’s really common, and the sexploitation industry has become a juggernaut now that the internet enables online sexploitation. Girls, boys and infants are pimped out too, and by extension this law in Deuteronomy would cover those situations as well.

The words I put in bold:

• make merchandise of her — a.mar (H6014b) “tyranise, manipulate, deal tyranically with, treat as a slave” (StepBible.org); figuratively it can mean “to chastise (as if piling blows)” (BlueLetterBible.org)
• afflicted —  a.nah (H6031b) “afflict, oppress, mistreat, mishandle”

Other translations of verse 14 (text bolded by me) —

(Net2full)  If you are not pleased with her, then you must let her go where she pleases. You cannot in any case sell her; you must not take advantage of her, since you have already humiliated her.

(KJV)¹  And it shall be, if you have no delight in her, then you shall let her go where she will; but you shall not sell her at all for money, you shall not make merchandise of her, because you have humiliated her.

(HCSB)  Then if you are not satisfied with her, you are to let her go where she wants, but you must not sell her for money or treat her as merchandise, because you have humiliated her.

(ESV)  But if you no longer delight in her, you shall let her go where she wants. But you shall not sell her for money, nor shall you treat her as a slave, since you have humiliated her.

(NKJ)  And it shall be, if you have no delight in her, then you shall set her free, but you certainly shall not sell her for money; you shall not treat her brutally, because you have humbled her.

(ABEn)  And it shall be if you should not want her, you shall send her free, and for sale you shall not sell her for silver, you shall not disrespect her, for you humbled her.

(BSB)  And if you are not pleased with her, you are to let her go wherever she wishes. But you must not sell her for money or treat her as a slave, since you have dishonored her.

(NASB1995)  “It shall be, if you are not pleased with her, then you shall let her go wherever she wishes; but you shall certainly not sell her for money, you shall not mistreat her, because you have humbled her.

If an Israelite man chose to make a female prisoner of war his wife, Deuteronomy 21:14 implies he must accord her similar rights to an Israelite wife.

The reason he must accord her those rights was that he had married her, or had decided to marry her but changed his mind before the month was up.

Most translations say he marries her and after the marriage he dislikes her and divorces her. Those translations are empirically plausible because we know that a man might marry, but then dislikes his wife enough to divorce her. Interestingly, the NMB translation leaves open the possibility that the man studied the woman’s character in the month before the marriage, and decided he didn’t want to marry her.

A victorious nation would typically make its POWs work as slaves. But if an Israelite man decided to marry a female POW, her status instantly changed. Having chosen to marry her, he must never exploit or afflict her, treat her brutally, humiliate her, or demote her status. If he decided he no longer wanted her as a wife, he must not prostitute her or sell her on the slave market. He must let her go free.

God would rather have even the POW wife to go free than be abused. And we know that if a POW wife has this right, then EVERY wife has this right to go free.
— Clockwork Angel

In that era, the Israelite custom for legalising a divorce was that the husband wrote a divorce certificate and gave it to his wife. The essential words in the certificate were “You are free to marry any man”. The certificate gave some protection to the woman — if she remarried she could not be accused of committing adultery against her ex-husband.

Now I will pull these threads together and make some logical inferences. I may be stretching beyond what the evidence allows, but my conjecture is not impossible.

I suggest this reading: If an Israelite man had chosen a female POW to be his wife, he might then change his mind and decide that he didn’t want her as a wife. If he made that decision, he should give her the same rights and dignity that an Israelite divorcée would be given: he should give her a proper divorce certificate which said You are free to marry any man, thereby setting her at liberty to make her own choices for her future well-being.

What principles from this law still apply to us today?

• A man must not think or behave as if his wife has less importance and value than himself.
• A husband must not spread false reports about his wife to blacken her reputation.
• A husband must not treat his wife brutally.
• A husband must not treat his wife as a slave.
• He must not demean, belittle, disrespect, mistreat or exploit his wife or his ex-wife.
• If a man decides to divorce his wife, he must treat her with the same dignity and respect that he would like to be treated with in the divorce process.
• If a man deems his wife less worthy of dignity and respect than himself, and his attitude causes their marriage to end in divorce, he must not falsely accuse her of breaking the bond of wedlock, he must take responsibility for his bad choices.
• He must not try to punish her for divorcing him.
• He must not coerce, frighten, or do anything to harm her after the divorce.
• God says these principles apply even if the wife is
  • an illegal immigrant,
  • a prisoner of war,
  • was raised in a non-Christian family or a pagan culture,
  • had lived a sinful lifestyle before he married her,
  • wasn’t a virgin when they married, because someone had raped her.
  • etc.

Another Mosaic Law designed to restrain misogyny is Exodus 21:7-11 which authorises an abused wife to divorce a husband who neglects her. Because abuse is a form of neglect, this law also allows a wife to divorce an abusive husband. By extension, we could also say that Exodus 21 permits divorce to any spouse (man or woman) if their partner is engaging in a pattern of abusive behaviour. Read more here: Exodus 21 authorises an abused wife to divorce a hard-hearted husband.

¹ This is the KJV 2000 edition.

[November 11, 2025: Editors’ notes:

—For some comments made prior to November 11, 2025 that quoted from the post, the text in the comment that was quoted from the post might no longer be an exact match.
—For some comments made prior to November 11, 2025 that quoted from the post, the text in the comment that was quoted from the post might no longer be found in the post.
If you would like to compare the text in the comments made prior to November 11, 2025 that quoted from the post to the post as it is now (November 11, 2025), click here [Internet Archive link] for the most recent Internet Archive copy of the post.]

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Posts in this series:

Part 1: The tangled mess of mistaken notions about what the Bible teaches on divorce.

Part 2: The Bible uses different words for divorce but they all mean legal divorce. Those who tell you otherwise are mistaken.

Part 3: Jesus did NOT say “Hardness of heart is grounds for divorce”. Deuteronomy 24 has been greatly misunderstood.

Part 4: The Jewish divorce certificate gave women the right to remarry, but some men used it rule over women

Part 5: Does Scripture differentiate between ‘putting away’ and ‘divorce’?

Part 6:  Is this post.

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Further reading

Isn’t adultery the only ground for divorce?

If abuse is grounds for divorce, why didn’t God say so plainly in the Bible?

When Jesus spoke about divorce and remarriage, he was pushing back against male-privileged interpretations of Deuteronomy 24.

What about Divorce? — an FAQ page on this website. It lists our most significant posts about divorce.

Instone-Brewer’s views on divorce compared to mine: Part 1, Appreciations & Agreements

Instone-Brewer’s Views on Divorce Compared to Mine: Part 2, Differences