Why We Need to be Done with Unsafe People as Soon as Possible
UPDATE Sept 2021: I have come to believe that Jeff Crippen does not practise what he preaches. He vilely persecuted an abuse victim and spiritually abused many other people in the Tillamook congregation. Go here to read the evidence. Jeff has not gone to the people that he spiritually and emotionally abused. He has not apologised to them, let alone asked for their forgiveness.
The wicked, like the abusers we have all confronted, are like black holes who suck life and energy out of us. Why? Because when we are in the presence of an abuser we must be on guard at all times.
The soul of the wicked desires evil; his neighbor finds no mercy in his eyes. (Proverbs 21:10)
The wicked watches for the righteous and seeks to put him to death. (Psalms 37:32)
Call it walking on eggshells or what you will, the fact is that life with an evil person like this requires vigilance. As soon as we let our guard down and extend even a bit of trust, pow! The assault comes.
Constantly on guard. Watching moment by moment. Just consider how draining that is. We don’t like to do it. We would rather believe that we can rest and trust, if only for a bit. But we cannot. Here he comes, big smile on his face, some offer of kindness. You are tempted to take a breath and relax, but if you have been with such a person very long you realize that would be a big mistake. Not even his smiles or gifts or apparent expressions of love can be trusted.
And as we said, this requires great energy, and such an existence cannot be healthy. It isn’t. This stress level is one main reason so many abuse victims are in poor health. Many times their ailment is some immune system related illness. Stay fired up and on full alert long enough and your body is going to be negatively affected, not to mention what this does to our mental and emotional health.
Drive out a scoffer, and strife will go out, and quarreling and abuse will cease. (Proverbs 22:10)
Scoffers, revilers, abusers don’t change. But we can change our lives when we have an opportunity to be done with such people. This truth applies to local churches as well. Stop giving sanctuary to the wicked! Drive the wicked out. Suddenly, surprise, surprise, you will start to experience peace and unity. Quarreling and abuse will cease.
Final note. Proverbs 22:10 quoted above and many other related Scriptures are God’s command and instruction to us regarding what we are to do in respect to a wicked, reviling, abusing, scoffer. God’s command! So tell me, all of you out there who push the “no divorce for abuse” line. Tell me. Why are you insisting that abuse victims disobey the word of God? I don’t see a footnote on that verse that says “Drive out a scoffer….unless you are married to him. Then you are stuck.”