A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

Abusers Are Consistently Inconsistent — A Favorite and Evil Tactic

UPDATE Sept 2021: I have come to believe that Jeff Crippen does not practise what he preaches. He vilely persecuted an abuse victim and spiritually abused many other people in the Tillamook congregation. Go here to read the evidence. Jeff has not gone to the people that he spiritually and emotionally abused. He has not apologised to them, let alone asked for their forgiveness.


But to what shall I compare this generation? It is like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling to their playmates, “‘We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not mourn.” For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, “He has a demon.” The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, “Look at him! A glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!” Yet wisdom is justified by her deeds. (Matthew 11:16-19)

Evil crazy-makes. Evil loves the fog of darkness. And one way evil-doers (abusers we call them) consistently employ their sorcery is to put on superficial inconsistency. Let me explain and illustrate.

You see it in our Lord’s words above. No matter what He did or said, these enemies rejected Him. Criticized Him. If His prophet John came to them in the wilderness dressed like Elijah, they accused him of being a demon-possessed mad-man. Alright then, Christ comes to them in freedom and they call Him a glutton and drunkard. They don’t like the flute music, but they also reject the dirge. All of this certainly confused people back in those days because it seemed so inconsistent. Just what did these Jews want anyway? What did they consider to be godly behavior? What was their theology?

So it is today. As always. Abusers reject the flute and the dirge. What is consistent is that they reject, accuse, and criticize. Many of you have seen and even experienced this. On one occasion a woman wearing pants might be the object of their ire, but on another occasion they will have no problem with some clothing that is truly immodest. They will vociferously attack some author, then defend him enthusiastically in another setting. They will preach servile submission today, yet rebel against the governing authorities tomorrow. Who are they? What do they really believe?

I can tell you.

What these people are is wicked. They are deceivers. What they do consistently is take up a position that opposes their victim and makes themselves look good. There is the unifying thread that explains them. Consistent inconsistency. They have their radar on, perpetually scanning the horizon for conversations and scenarios that they can jump into for self-glory. The thing is really rather amazing when you understand it and observe it. So naturally does it come to them. They love to keep people guessing. “Where will they land on this issue?”  “Take care, or you will be the object of their scorn.” This is what they are all about.

This is entirely evil. It is wickedness creeping in among us. We must be wise to it and confront it. Creeps such as this must not be allowed to practice this evil in the name of Christ. Stop it. Repent of it. Or depart from us. Your game is up. We see you. Your magic ring doesn’t make you invisible anymore.



  1. standingfirm

    Amen Pastor Jeff. Abusers are crazy makers, it is what they do! They get a evil satisfaction out of watching their spouse scratch their head trying to figure them out! I would be told by the abuser that it was okay to do such and such and then when I would do it he would get so angry, and at other times it was fine. Lundy Bancroft had mentioned that some of them want you to think they are mentally ill so they can continue the “crazy making”. I remember once I said to the abuser “Say what you mean and mean what you say”. Now I know better than to take anything he says to heart. They love to be inconsistent as a way to keep their spouse off balance. So very evil to manipulate and to try and have the upper hand in mind control. I would hate to be in their shoes when they stand before the Lord.

  2. Ng

    very spot on. I think many of us know this intuitively, but it is so good to see this expressed so eloquently.

    • surviving freedom

      Wow, this is spot on. It’s also very misunderstood by those who haven’t experienced it on a regular basis. There are counselors I’ve met or “helpers” that I’ve attempted to explain this to that still just don’t get it. Sometimes the inconsistencies are so ridiculous that a person can’t even make sense of it until you begin to understand that they do it on purpose, and the understanding can’t come from confronting them because when you attempt to it just adds more crazy-making to the situation, then a person walks away thinking they are the crazy one. Actually, I’ve come to believe that abusers love to be confronted about the inconsistencies in order to up the ante, inflict more crazy-making, and twist things back around on the victim. Also an abuser loves to be able to do this so that the target is so consumed with trying to make sense of what’s going on that they aren’t able to see the truth or focus on their own needs or opinions.

      I once read somewhere that this tactic works so well for abusers in all their “dealings” with people (not just their primary victim) because if a person is unaware (and doesn’t know to stand guard against it or be prepared for it) that there are people out there that intentionally do this kind of thing a normal person’s thinking has no way of making sense of the huge inconsistencies, then a person’s brain naturally draws a conclusion that makes the most sense out of the situation, and typically that conclusion ends up giving the crazy-maker the benefit of the doubt. Once a person is aware, though, one can fight against the natural tendency to attempt to “make sense of it,” one can draw a conclusion that the abuser is purposefully creating these inconsistencies as just another means of abuse, to gain the upper hand, or to get lots of attention while having others think they are the crazy ones.

  3. Ng

    ‘Playing mind games’ (that’s what they want to do) is something that is way too common among abusive people… no matter the nationality. Hey, satan is an international creature!
    I have learned to ignore the tactic and disengage from those who would love to get my attention for their drama.

  4. Annie

    Yet another tactic my husband does. Only now I don’t bother to try to point it out or understand. I know he knows I know!!! LOL Back when I would try to understand through conversations with him he’d inevitably pull out his “dumb act” and twist it back on me that I had the problem.

    Now that I don’t try to address his inconsistencies I think it’s actually easier for others to spot them. The kids certainly see them. He can’t use my reaction as cover for his behavior.

    • surviving freedom

      Good for you Annie. I wished I would have realized this while he was still in the home, but I couldn’t see it yet … there was so much crazy going on it was hard to sort it all out. But, most of the time it was me who ended up being accused of being the crazy, suspicious, to irrational one, then in trying to defend myself against his accusations it only seemed to justify what he was already saying about me.
      It’s only now in hind-sight that I can see it for what it was. I love that you can see it now and responding in exactly the way that’s needed so that the traps he sets can actually trap himself.

  5. In Christ Alone

    The one thing I’ve said over and over is that the ONLY thing predictable about my abuser is his inconsistency. He has several personas and I’m never quite sure which one will the show up. The Victim. The Know-It-All. The Rager. The Professional Good Guy. The Spiritual Advisor. The Super Dad. And, there are others…

    Interestingly, the way he manipulated and controlled me was by NEVER opposing me. Ever. This is what made the abuse difficult to discern and epically confusing. He would appear to agree with everything I ever said… from religion to politics to our relationship to parenting. You name it, we were ALWAYS on the same page. This is what allowed him to keep me from questioning him because he convinced me to believe he was a good, agreeable guy. He could live a double life and lie to my face without me knowing, or even thinking it could possibly be part of his character. Then, after he’d appear to agree, he’d ACT in the opposite way, or say things later that completely contradicted what he’d agreed about the week before. This was such a slow process, however, that by the time I noticed it, I’d already been brainwashed into thinking he was who he said he was.

    Naturally, when I noticed the contradictions, I’d blame myself for “misunderstanding,” “being judgmental,” or attribute some other negative thing to myself. If I ever confronted him, he’d have some excuse like he was too “co-dependent” on me and had a hard time thinking for himself, or he’d say he originally misjudged the situation and now he knew better, or… a thousand other excuses. I seriously thought I was crazy, until I realized it was he who was the crazy / evil one.

    I wanted to share this because I never understood how he was able to covertly manipulate and control me without ever yelling at me or opposing me. He did it by agreeing. Very, very subtle and tricky. I was trapped for more than two decades in this cycle. The first thing I ever read that gave me the “a-ha” moment I needed was Lundy Bancroft’s book. I realized at the end of the book that if I’d highlighted over 75% of the book, there must be a serious problem. What stumped me for awhile, however, was that my abuser didn’t fit well into most of the descriptions of the typical abuser, but managed to get the same results. Evil is cunning and sneaky and will do WHATEVER it needs to do to control, destroy, and devour your soul.

    Praising God for His mercy in opening my eyes.

    • surviving freedom

      I think we may have been married to the same man. I typically don’t like to label abusers, whether they be psychopath, narcissist, sociopath, etc … it all leads to the same thing – abuser. But I remember reading somewhere that psychopaths / sociopaths are very good at mimicking normal human reactions and emotions to fool people, as well they will often mimic all of their victim’s morals and ideas, then when the contradictions are seen they can act so incredibly shocked and outraged that you would accuse them of such a thing that they can truly convince a person that they didn’t actually see or hear what they just saw or heard. While the whole time finding subtle little ways of implying that their target is actually the one going against the established morals.

      • Annie

        reading somewhere that psychopaths / sociopaths are very good at mimicking normal human reactions and emotions to fool people

        My husband does this but he’s not as good at it as he thinks he is. Sometimes he falls short.

        My children have said to me over the years “dad’s kind of socially awkward”. But I wasn’t sure that was the right description because it wasn’t like what you might see portrayed on tv or the movies. I’ve known socially awkward people. None of them really understood they were appearing to everyone as socially awkward. They were truly trying to fit in.

        Then it hit me one day — he’s a phony. What they were thinking was socially awkward was really a guy trying to mimic normal human reactions because he has none and sometimes he just doesn’t pull it off. He thinks he always does. I can see it in his face and tone — the look of one who thinks he’s fooling everyone.

      • ^ Like!

      • surviving freedom

        Annie, yes they do definitely fall short, I noticed especially in groups of people that know him from different areas of his life. Often then though, he would just be very quiet, Then after the function he would pout and condemn me for being able to visit with people so easily.

      • standsfortruth

        They’ve had many years to perfect their ability to mimic and act a role to inflict certain reactions from their targets.
        Mine was exceptional at creating splitting disorder within the family, to create instability and drama with the children.

        One thing abusers seem have in common is that “they really dont know what to value.” So they instead hone in on what their “targets value” in order to control their targets. It’s almost like a child seeing another child playing with a toy,- and that child wants that toy -just because the other child is playing with it.

        The abuser realizes that the heart of his target is wrapped up in what she values, and this is why he uses “what she values” to control her, since he knows her heart has long ago left him. So not letting him know what I valued, became my practice to protect what I valued. (and pretending I valued things I really didnt-so he would target those instead)

    • Anne

      In Christ Alone, THANK YOU!!!

      You really helped clarify some things for me. I read Lundy Bancroft’s book awhile ago and discovered my husband was a combo of types. Little bit Demand Man, little bit Mr Right and lots of Water Torturer.

      After I confronted him several times, (and he turned it all around on me!), his behavior changed. I still felt nothing had changed on the inside. His lack of respect for me would come out in moments of stress, but the outwardly abusive things he used to say and do pretty much went away.

      But I still don’t trust it and often feel beat up emotionally still and just couldn’t figure out why. Is it my hard heart? My issues? He’s agreeing with everything I say, everything I want to do. How can I still feel so distrustful of him, so wary?

      What you said was really another “aha” moment for me. Yes, he’s being very agreeable the last 6 months … but it’s like he’s humoring a cranky child he’s trying to keep from exploding into a tantrum. Or a slightly senile old person. He agrees with me on whatever and I still feel … a certain recoil or anxiety.

      And then I’m quick to wonder, is it me? Am I such a nasty, negative and hard hearted person that I can’t let things go and forgive?

      You explained it so beautifully and your comment really resonated with me. 🙂

    • Moving Forward

      I join the others in appreciating how wonderfully you have described something that is so hard to describe. I was lost in my marriage for over two decades as well, and though separated for one year, I am still learning so much about what I went through. So subtle is so hard. Only here do people get it and have words for it.

  6. For Too Long

    Crazy-making. All designed to make you question your perception of reality. There’s always the scornful look followed by “I never said that.” Which leaves you standing there going, “HUH?!?”

    I’ve noticed, in particular, during this divorce that if my soon-to-be-ex proposes an idea and I agree, then suddenly he doesn’t like that idea anymore. The more enthusiasm I show for something, the quicker that rug is pulled out from under my feet. …You’d think I should have learned this already!

    • standsfortruth

      Yes, Far Too long. They love to oppose.
      if I told my abusive H that I valued anything, or had an idea or a plan that I was looking forward to, he would see it as a opportunity to plan to sabbatoge, or control me, or my situtation.

      I finally learned NOT to reveal anything to him that mattered or was important to me, because my abuser only saw this information as fuel to punish, extort, exploit, or manipulate me with.

      He “pretended” to care, but his disordered charactor made sure that things never went like I planned, and he would mess it up just to prove he could. And then act like he couldnt help it.
      I finally had to grey rock him to protect myself.

      He only wanted to know how I felt about things, so that he could then devise a plan against it.

      • Annie

        Standsfortruth, I too learned to not reveal anything to my husband. Even my children have learned not to tell dad about anything I’m doing. I’m talking about stuff I like to do that’s creative or even going to meetings where I get to socialize with normal people as we plan service projects.

        All my hobbies I have to do when he’s not around. Or he will find a way to make it appear I’m neglecting the family and my “job” as a wife because I enjoy doing them. Doing creative things is my stress reliever. If I hadn’t realized that I could still do them if I “hid” it from him I don’t know what I would have done over the years. It helps me remember who I am! I’ve published a few articles and even won a couple of contests. None of which he knows. Yet he prides himself on “knowing” me. I must admit I do get a bit of satisfaction when he drones on and on about how he knows me when he’s telling me how awful I am and what I need to do to change and he has no clue of the things I do and like.

        I’ve volunteered with a number of groups over the years and without exception my husband has made it difficult for me to participate. He can’t stand me doing anything that’s not for him in some way. He’ll accept me volunteering for the kids’ activities because he sees that as an extension of him. But even with that he doesn’t make it easy. Although he hates it when I do it, I now tell him what I’m doing as I’m leaving. I’ll go out the door with a quick “I have a meeting at church” or “helping with the xyz activity”. He tries to stop me with questions of course but I’m busy getting out the door and in the car and you know I just don’t have time for a lot of questions!

        Grey rock has been a useful tool for me. And waiting to the last minute to tell him things.

      • Anthea

        Yes, Standsfortruth and Annie, I also had to learn to hide all interests, enthusiasm, or activities. I hid my calendar, appointments, notes, and tried to plan activities for when he was at work. And I certainly never showed any happiness or excitement when he was around.

        He did not like me to be organized and once dumped out all the dried beans I stored in pretty jars on the counter. He didn’t want me to dress nicely when I had to go out to get groceries — he wanted me to look haggard instead. He didn’t want me to get even a small amount of enjoyment from buying school supplies for my young children. He took special pains to never let me know if he enjoyed a meal. I finally realized he doesn’t want me to be successful, creative, happy, or especially independent. That is the opposite of isolation, manipulation, dependence, and control.

      • Anne

        I also had to learn to hide all interests, enthusiasm, or activities. I hid my calendar, appointments, notes, and tried to plan activities for when he was at work. And I certainly never showed any happiness or excitement when he was around.

        Anthea, Annie and all … THIS. That all of you have put so eloquently. I’m a creative person and I’m pretty good at the creative outlets I choose to do. But over time, I found myself hiding my activities, or “bargaining” for time to do them, trying to show why they were important enough to spend time doing. Eventually, I just stopped doing things I loved because it was just too hard.

        When my grown kids and I plan an outing, or I want to see a friend, I do the same thing, plan for when he’s not around or do it in such a way that no explanations are needed. I have a friend with medical issues. If I want to just spend time with her for friendship sake … I get the “look”, the one that says I’m selfish for leaving him home working (yep, H works from home and has for many years … try having a life when he rarely leaves the house!), but if I say, I need to go help Friend because she’s having difficulty with “X”, I can go with a minimum of trouble and blame.

        I hate to hide so much and “sneak” around, it’s not who I want to be, but it has become over the years the only way I can have any fun or joy in life without being judged or harassed in some way.

        And Anthea, when you said he’d find ways to make sure never to show he liked the dinner you cooked or the way you organized things … it hit me right in the heart. For years, I thought I suffered from a childish overabundance of enthusiasm for silly things. I would do something for our home or family that I thought was pretty cool or make an involved and tasty new dish for dinner. I’d be so excited to show him or have him eat …waiting like an eager puppy for a pat on the head. And then … nothing. “Hmmm. Nice” and he’d walk away from the project I’d done, and that was a good response. Sometimes he wouldn’t even look or say nothing. Dinner? Response might be “it’s ok.” Or “I’d like it better if …” or “I don’t like fancy sauces. Plain cooking is better” and he’d take the meat or carb part of the meal and leave whatever I’d worked so hard on to make the meal more savory or special. I’d be crushed.

        Once, feeling so hurt and frustrated at his lack of response, I cried out to him … “Why can’t you show some excitement or enthusiasm over this (or anything! I thought)?”

        He said that it wasn’t his nature. He didn’t get up and all excited about things, but he also didn’t get all down and depressed over things. He was very calm and even tempered.

        He got me there on so many fronts … ZING, ZING, ZING. Don’t expect change, it’s who I am. Your enthusiasm about things is a bad thing. Your behavior is all over the place and unwarranted. I’m mature and adult and dependable. We never know with you, how you’ll react.

        And it never occurred to me to call him out on his saying he didn’t have the down phase, was even tempered … except for the times he was sulking and miserable to us because someone said something he didn’t like or did something that didn’t meet his standards or cater to him.

        I’m really seeing how abnormally I’ve lived all these years now that eldest child is in a normal relationship. Her partner IS a partner, shows excitement and gives praise and support for things eldest does, encourages further growth and new endeavors. Talks to her about his hopes and dreams. Wants to know about hers and share them. Fosters her talents and helps her stregthen her weaknesses in the nicest ways, with a never ending stream of communication going on between them. It’s a joy to see.

        Sigh. So many years I was blinded and in the fog.

      • standsfortruth

        Yes Anthea, Annie and many other here, we finally figured out in order to add some happiness to our lives, that “outsmarting our sabbatour” became imperitave.
        I had always felt like I was living with some sort of a “covert terrorist” because my abuser sought out to destroy anything I enjoyed or ended up using it against me somehow.
        So living like a secret agent soon became “my normal”, to try to squeek in some moments of happiness, that he was not aware of.
        It became pretty much like playing a game of battleship.
        What he doesnt know he cant destroy right?
        I had to keep in mind that my body language could give me away too, so when I was looking foward to something I had to pretend and suppress any signs of normal anticipation, and look glum so that he wouldnt suspect that I had anything in my life to look forward to.
        Then after I sucessfully managed to pull off my plan and leave with out sabbatoge, I knew the phone calls would start up.
        All sorts of fabricated senerios, would happen just to get me to come back.
        Drama would “spontainously erupt” to bring me back, but I knew who was instigating the drama.
        The abuser was behind it all, just like the man behind the curtain in the Wizard of Oz.
        So I learned to quit picking up the phone when I left.
        They can leave a message right?
        I often thought to add to my phone recording, (for my abusers sake) “in case of an emergency, hang up the phone and dial 911.”

  7. KayE

    Yes, sorcery, that’s exactly what it is.

  8. layla1111

    Great post! Wonderful description of the catch-22 abusers put victims in. It doesnt matter what you do, they will attack you either choice you make. Holidays and celebrations anger them. Non-holidays, the regular days, make them need to also need to stir up drama and pain for their victims. As decades go by their game becomes perfected and all it is to them is like a cat playing with a mouse for its own amusement. It doesn’t matter what the mouse does, it’s going to get batted around. Then the abuser goes off and sulks because that didn’t bring him happiness either. Pure evil.

  9. KayE

    My ex mimics people too, and he’s very, very convincing. He adopts the behavior and the views of the people he’s with, pretends to think the way they do and to care about the same things as they do, and they think he’s just like them. But put him in a different social setting, and the inconsistencies are jarring. He simply becomes the person people want him to be, for as long as he thinks he has something to gain from them. But he doesn’t really care about anyone, it’s all about advantage for himself.

    • Jeff Crippen

      KayE – I know another abuser who does exactly the same mirroring. I have seen precisely what you describe.

    • Annie

      My husband also tries to fit in and be an expert on whatever the topic being discussed is. But he also likes to take the opposite point of view against everyone in the group. Then at some other time with a different group he’ll take yet again another opposing view–which would have been the view of the first group he originally disagreed with. He bragged to me years [later?] in a rare moment of truth of how by doing that people have a distorted view of his opinions!

      At other times he will decide to appear to be “dumb” and have the others explain everything to him about whatever is being talked about. And I know good and well he already knows all of what they’re telling him. It’s like he enjoys “forcing” them to tell him as he plays ignorant of the topic. So of course what happens is these people actually thinks he cares about what they’re talking about because he sits there and listens.

  10. Anonymous

    Such great and insightful comments. I’m overwhelmed and grateful. Jeff and Barb, the books you have out are wonderful and I’ve read them all but it would be awesome if you could use these many comments that are given here to write a series of books or articles (in all your spare time!)-maybe vignettes–with the various themes and topics that are brought up here. There is SO MUCH truth and wisdom and deep understanding of the nature of the abuser that it’s a shame it doesn’t reach more people. Maybe in other languages as well because I’m sure this evil is not confined only to English speaking people. That being said–God will guide those who need it here, he will not leave one little one behind.

    Many of the comments here remind me of what Corrie Ten Boom often wrote about. That during wartime when her family started to hide Jews and to find homes for the Jewish children who were lucky enough not to be killed, she had to learn how to lie and how to be subversive in order to do God’s will. Many of us here have been forced to learn how to lie and to hide our true hearts and selves else the enemy (our spouse, family, children, supposed Christian friends) use them against us. These beautiful gifts were meant to be used to glorify God as well as bless us, his children, but in the hands of evil, the most beautiful things become (seemingly) ugly. Isaiah 53:2,

    He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.

    The beauty of Jesus and his sacrifice are completely lost / wasted on evil ones, just as the beauty of the gifts given to us by the Holy Spirit are wasted on those who deem themselves to be god. Yet many Christian churches would have us continue on in these barbaric relationships just to keep up the illusion that staying married or toughing out a relationship sets a good Christian example. In reality, they are collaborating with the devil and doing his will. Amazing isn’t it? That a few short years ago we may have been the ones trying to keep a friend in an unholy marriage or ungodly relationship thinking we were doing God’s will. Now we know the truth, and it has set us free and it saddens us that we can’t help more people we love to see the truth.

    The description of the Proverbs 31 wife is one of a woman SOARING with God’s love and grace, able to carry out feat after amazing feat without seeming to get worn out or tired. Yet most of us here are only able to carry out the beautiful feats of God after we’ve overcome our evil husband’s treachery and deceit all while being accused by many that we are selfish and stupid. The truth remember, is the opposite of the lie.

    Thanks to every person here who shares their story in order to help those who are still waking up. I’m so grateful!

    • Thanks, Anonymous 🙂

      Newish readers: if you want to explore Proverbs 31 more, here are some of our posts:

      The Proverbs 31 Wife: Fact or Fiction? (Part 1 of 4)

      Titus 2 and Proverbs 31 groups — women influencing each other

    • UPDATE Sept 2021: I have come to believe that Jeff Crippen does not practise what he preaches. He vilely persecuted an abuse victim and spiritually abused many other people in the Tillamook congregation. Go here to read the evidence. Jeff has not gone to the people that he spiritually and emotionally abused. He has not apologised to them, let alone asked for their forgiveness.


      … it would be awesome if you could use these many comments that are given here to write a series of books or articles (in all your spare time!)-maybe vignettes–with the various themes and topics that are brought up here.

      YES. My spare time = zero. I’m behind all the time. But as some of my other current responsibilities diminish (being co-executor of my father’s will, helping renovate one of his apartments, etc) I may have more time to invest in that kind of project. I have a long list already of projects to do when I get the time to do them:
      —get Not Under Bondage [*Affiliate link] into e-versions as well as paperback (a second edition, which states my change of mind about Matthew 18 and church discipline of abusers)
      —create an FAQ section for our blog
      —Jeff and I together write another book (we could easily write more than one new book, if we had the time)
      —finish some posts that I have had on the ‘to do’ list for years.

      As it is, the daily workload of reading and responding to comments from readers keeps me quite busy already, and our audience grows all the time. New issues arise frequently in current affairs, e.g. the Saeed and Naghmeh Abedini case, which we feel we need to respond to. Watching our FB page and deleting or banning judgemental commenters takes time (our terrific ACFJ team shares that load). And there is other work and consulting between the ACFJ team members which you never see at the front of the blog. . .

      Plus the emails I get from victims / survivors, some of which I never have responded to…. simply due to time pressure (sorry!).

      Sorry if that sounds like a sob story. It’s not meant to be. I enjoy all that I do immensely, and thank God for what he has enabled me to do every day.

      *Amazon affiliate link — ACFJ gets a small percentage if you purchase via this link.
      • Anonymous

        I guessed as much when I made the comment about your spare time but had no idea the enormous workload you carry. It’s important to let others know this, as there may be others who do have the time or the gift of taking on some of the tasks you have. I always think of Moses’s father-in-law Jethro, and what a blessing he was to Moses. How he was so grateful to see how Moses’s God was working in his life and also wise enough to tell Moses he needed to divide up the responsibilities. (Exodus 18:9-23).

        I’m grateful for all you do Barb, and all who moderate here as well as I can only imagine some of the emails you receive are anything but Christian. It helps those of us who come to this site feel safe and taken care of and as you know, this is so important after such deep trauma.

        Thank you for all you do!

      • I can only imagine some of the emails you receive are anything but Christian.

        Actually, we don’t receive all that many. The abusers seem to have figured out that we give them short shrift, and may even expose their silly words for the edification of our readers. 🙂 For example —

        Badgering Badgers

        Another Badger, and a translation of his manipulative language

        The indefatigable badger – deciphering manipulative speech

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