David deSilva provides us with some real help here in properly understanding the Bible’s instruction in 1 Peter 3. This passage has often been misapplied in cases of domestic abuse, being used to tell victims that they must continue to be subjected to that evil. deSilva’s article is worth reading in its entirety (see it here) but we quote just the following where he addresses domestic abuse:
Perhaps no New Testament book is as dedicated to helping believers come to terms with, and respond to, suffering as 1 Peter. We must be very clear here about the precise kind of suffering about which the author speaks, or else we will come to misapply this resource. The author addresses people who have encountered resistance, insult, censure, and even physical abuse because of their commitment to respond to Christ and to do what God commands. It is their obedience to the commandment to avoid worship of other gods that, in the main, has led to the pressures being brought to bear on them in the household (in the case of wives and slaves) and in the street. The author is not speaking about suffering in general, encompassing all disease, chronic illness, domestic abuse, or political oppression in his statements about suffering.
I must especially stress that domestic violence and abusive marriages are not “sanctioned” in some way by this text. The proximity of instructions to wives in 3:1-6 and discussions of suffering abuse (2:18-25; 3:13-17) has led to such problematic applications, with the result that some pastors or other Christian friends will advise a spouse to remain in an abusive relationship because this is God’s will (3:17; 4:19). Physical abuse between spouses, however, was not sanctioned even by Greco-Roman statutes, and so persevering in an abusive relationship cannot have been an aspect of the witness to the unbelieving spouse encouraged in 3:1-6. Rather, the author is speaking very specifically about suffering endured for “doing what is right” (2:20; 3:14), for “doing good” (3:17), “for the name of Christ” (4:14), and for “bearing the name” of “a Christian” (4:16). Suffering “in line with God’s will” (4:19) is quite explicitly limited by this author to suffering encountered because obedience to Jesus’ call, teaching, and example has brought one to that point of conflict with those who resist God’s vision for human relationships. [Emphasis original.]
[Excerpt from “1 Peter: Strategies for Counseling Individuals on the Way to a New Heritage”, by David A. deSilva.]
[June 29, 2022: Editors’ notes:
—For some comments made prior to June 29, 2022 that quoted from the post, the text in the comment that was quoted from the post might no longer be an exact match.
—For some comments made prior to June 29, 2022 that quoted from the post, the text in the comment that was quoted from the post might no longer be found in the post.
If you would like to compare the text in the comments made prior to June 29, 2022 that quoted from the post to the post as it is now (June 29, 2022), click here [Internet Archive link] for the most recent Internet Archive copy of the post.]
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Further reading
1 Peter 3:6 — Sarah’s children do what is right and do not give way to fear
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UPDATE Sept 2021: I have come to believe that Jeff Crippen does not practise what he preaches. He vilely persecuted an abuse victim and spiritually abused many other people in the Tillamook congregation. Go here to read the evidence. Jeff has not gone to the people that he spiritually and emotionally abused. He has not apologised to them, let alone asked for their forgiveness.
A Cry For Justice 
Thank you! Shared on “Give Her Wings”.
The key to understanding this passage is to understand that Peter is instructing all Christians, and especially Christians who are facing adversity, to respond to persecution in the same way that Christ responded. How did Christ respond? 1 Peter 2:23 says that “when he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten.” Instead, He entrusted Himself to Him who judges righteously. In other words, we do not have to respond in a like manner as our abusers. Peter sums everything up at the end of this passage by instructing Christians to refrain from speaking evil or speaking deceitfully, but to “seek peace and pursue it”. We do not have to let our abusers bring us down to their level! This passage is basically about not seeking revenge!
Unfortunately, 1 Peter 1-6 is taken out of this context to keep women enslaved! All Christians in this passage are instructed to maintain their freedom without resorting to the same tactics as their persecutors. This is how we become a witness to the world and to our persecutors. We show them a higher standard of conduct.
It is a slow process, but I am learning correct Scripture interpretation regarding relationships, marriage, injustices, etc. with an historical preface. It isn’t good enough to learn it for myself, but to be able to converse with another woman who is struggling to make sense of life and Scripture. ACFJ is making a profound difference in my life. Thank you.
Go, Seeing Clearly!