A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

God is fierce to the wicked — Psalm 50

But to the wicked God says: “What right have you to recite my statutes or take my covenant on your lips? For you hate discipline, and you cast my words behind you. If you see a thief, you are pleased with him, and you keep company with adulterers. “You give your mouth free rein for evil, and your tongue frames deceit. You sit and speak against your brother; you slander your own mother’s son. These things you have done, and I have been silent; you thought that I was one like yourself. But now I rebuke you and lay the charge before you. “Mark this, then, you who forget God, lest I tear you apart, and there be none to deliver! The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me; to one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of God!” (Psalm 50:16-23)

While churches may pussy foot around hypocrites, God does not. While churches may blow victims off, God breathes fire at the tyrants. The wicked one hates discipline. The church may turn a blind eye, but God does not. Note well: in the passage quoted above there is no mention of the abusers using physical violence. Their wickedness is expressed in verbal abuse, slander, tongues that frame deceit, masquerading piety, praising thieves and keeping company with adulterers. God never says, “Well; this man didn’t hit anyone, so he isn’t really wicked!”

10 Comments

  1. MeganC

    Oh, how I needed to read this! Thank you! xoxo

  2. BeginHealing

    God never says, “Well; this man didn’t hit anyone, so he isn’t really wicked!”

    I love that!! Wonderful post Barbra. So many of us face skepticism because we don’t fall into the media’s definition of abuse because it was not physical and our abusers were very good at keeping their behavior towards us covert and hard to detect even to us. I take so much comfort in the knowledge that while most people will never understand what I have experienced and still experience. I may never have the right words or desire to make them understand, God knows. He gets it. That is what matters most. ❤

    Of course having a community like this that understands helps so very VERY much as well. Thanks for all that you do Barbara. 🙂

    • Brenda R

      Ditto

  3. I am coming to terms with slander and lies my husband has been telling about me. A good friend of mine told me of things her has been saying to her husband. All to make me look like a lazy, selfish mother and wife. I am so angry with him for this. I have felt he has done this to me for years but now I know the truth. He has done this with my older children and our friends. My friend told me she believes me … What a relief!!!
    He is wicked.
    I guess I have believed for so long his lies to me. He says one thing to me and one thing to someone else. Crazy making ..
    The picture is certainly becoming clearer and clearer day by day and as it does I am becoming stronger, preparing myself for my escape from this prison.

    • Suzanne

      As a child one of the most painful things to endure were the many slanders my father hurled at my mother. He didn’t care who was close enough to hear his lies. As I grew older I came to know that he slandered her behind her back as well. I never heard him say one kind word to or about her, his own wife whom God charged to love as his own body.

  4. Healinginprocess

    Thank you! For this timely post. ❤

  5. Denise

    Amen!! I have to tell you this website is making an impact even in my own church! I forwarded this website to my pastor a few months back and I asked him if what was said about divorce okay in abuse situations. His reply to my email was, “No, it’s not biblical”. I was put out with the abruptness of it. Disappointed, and even confused a little myself on the subject, I did more study.

    About a month ago one of the elders did a sermon called, “Stay Married”. I could tell I was getting more and more angry with his words, and then he used the “extreme” case of abuse. He said that she should stay married and understand that everyone suffers. WHAT!? He later clarified that there would be discipline, separation and use of the law of the land in such “rare” situations, but ultimately she should stay married. I was so angry!

    Tonight I just heard that my pastor was going to do another topical study on marriage and divorce. I went up to him after service and pointed to the truth of Malachi 2 of God hating divorce and showing the verse preceding in verse 14. “Yet you say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.”

    Okay…now hold on to yourselves…HE GOT It!! He agreed!! I had to strain myself not to do a happy jig right there in front of him and settled for a high five. Maybe he actually read this website…who knows. I asked him how would he handle an abusive situation if the woman gets a divorce because she and/or her children were being abused? Would she be shunned after church discipline? He said, “The divorce has already been done when the convenant was broken.” I wanted to give him a big hug.

    Thank you so much!

    • Nice, thanks for the encouragement, Denise! Would you mind emailing me, I’d like to ask you a bit more about this. Tx. barbara@notunderbondage.com

    • Sarah

      TY, Denise!

      “The divorce has already been done when the covenant was broken” perfectly explains my situation. My former husband chose to break the covenant first – I just did it legally when I filed for divorce.

      • Sarah

        Oh, and to clarify – my former husband not only broke the covenant once, he continued to, with no remorse or regret even now…

Leave a comment. It's ok to use a made up name (e.g Anon37). For safety tips read 'New Users Info' (top menu). Tick the box if you want to be notified of new comments.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: