The Transtheoretical Model For Change — a tool that can support victims of abuse

6 thoughts on “The Transtheoretical Model For Change — a tool that can support victims of abuse”

1. Barb,

   I love your post! 😊 And as I read through the excellent article you quoted from, I read something I remember you telling others. 😊 The quote is as follows:

   Survivors tend to start sharing parts of their stories with people — little snippets — to test reactions, to see who will believe them, who has the capacity to hear what they need to say, or who will judge them.

   From the article, Transtheoretical Model of Change:

   Survivors of abuse share their truths in their own time and in their own unique ways. While some may navigate through their healing journey swiftly, others may find themselves in deep reflection for extended periods.

   For anyone who’s followed my breadcrumb comments through the ACFJ blog, you’ll see evidence of the above paragraph. 😊

   And sometimes the healing starts to take place before one is even aware it is happening….and this latest “batch” of healing is REALLY, REALLY weird. 😊 I’ve mentioned some of it in some of my recent comments on the ACFJ blog, but I’ve left out HUGE chunks. There’s nothing concrete….there are only things to let “flow through”. The most recent — and newest (I thought I’d already identified them all 😊) — is, so far anyway, the least explainable.

   I can be anywhere in my condo on a cloudy day with all my blinds on my windows open and — as has happened on a few occasions — the sun starts to peep through a thinner layer of cloud cover and I feel like I’m standing in burning sunlight. So I go around my condo closing all my blinds, and I’m OK. Go figure. 😊

   The part that sometimes expletive-deletes me the most is that this whole thing that I call “the “weirdness” about my mother” is that NONE of it was my fault. Most of the time, I refer to it affectionately as being “indecisive” — there’s no pattern, nothing identifiable to say that x triggered y. But every now and again, I have to acknowledge a particular emotion and let it go — the way one needs to in any healing process.

   Perhaps my comment might seem incomplete, but that’s often the case when an abuse victim-survivor is working through their healing process….

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   1. There’s nothing concrete….there are only things to let “flow through”. … there’s no pattern, nothing identifiable to say that x triggered y. But every now and again, I have to acknowledge a particular emotion and let it go — the way one needs to in any healing process.

      This reminds me of a phrase I heard recently: ‘metabolised emotions’.

      Two neurodivergent mental-health professionals, Megan Neff and Patrick Casale, do a joint podcast called Divergent Conversations. Megan said she wants to “only put out into the world metabolised emotions”.

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      1. Barb,

         You wrote (23rd March 2025):

         This reminds me of a phrase I heard recently: ‘metabolised emotions’….Two neurodivergent mental-health professionals, Megan Neff and Patrick Casale, do a joint podcast called Divergent Conversations. Megan said she wants to “only put out into the world metabolised emotions”.

         (The italics are in Barb’s comment.)

         I’ve never heard the phrase “metabolised emotions” before….something for me to think about. My first thought was that it seems to make sense. After all, “metabolising emotions” could also be considered processing emotions. And I suppose, in a way, that’s what I’m doing when I let whatever it is that is currently “happening” (triggering) in this “weirdness” about my mother flow through. The other day I was thinking that, by doing what I needed to do to look after myself myself in this “weirdness” about my mother, I was, essentially, re-parenting myself. So I guess you could say I’m “metabolising emotions”.

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   2. Hi, Finding Answers, you wrote:

      I can be anywhere in my condo on a cloudy day with all my blinds on my windows open and — as has happened on a few occasions — the sun starts to peep through a thinner layer of cloud cover and I feel like I’m standing in burning sunlight. So I go around my condo closing all my blinds, and I’m OK. Go figure. 😊

      I recently learned that there is a correlation between autism and difficulties in temperature regulation. The research does not show that autism causes temp regulation difficulties. It only shows that the autistic population has a higher incidence of temp regulation difficulties than the neurotypical population.

      I also know that Glenn Gould, the genius pianist who was almost certainly autistic, used to insist that the temperature in a recording studio be within very precise limits, otherwise he would not record in that studio.

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      1. Barb,

         You wrote (23rd March 2025):

         I recently learned that there is a correlation between autism and difficulties in temperature regulation. The research does not show that autism causes temp regulation difficulties. It only shows that the autistic population has a higher incidence of temp regulation difficulties than the neurotypical population.

         (The italics are in Barb’s comment.)

         I’d read a number of years ago about those on the Autism spectrum having difficulties regulating temperature, but I’d never really thought about it. Perhaps what others consider “temperature regulation issues” might simply be that those of us on the Autism spectrum experience temperature differently. And even the same person can experience the same temperature differently at different times. We also might dress ourselves differently in order to “deal” with whatever the temperature is at any given moment.

         Years ago, I remember walking through a mall with my then-“husband”. We were dressed for the colder weather outside (it was winter), and I still had my parka zipped up to my chin. My husband reached over to start unzipping my parka for me — I stopped him. I hadn’t yet warmed up. He was treating me as if I was a child….I suspect this kind of expletive-deleted thing happens with many of us who are on the Autism spectrum.

         You wrote:

         I also know that Glenn Gould, the genius pianist who was almost certainly autistic, used to insist that the temperature in a recording studio be within very precise limits, otherwise he would not record in that studio.

         I’d never heard it mentioned as a possibility that Glen Gould might’ve been on the Autism spectrum, but now that I think about it, it makes sense. He was known for being VERY specific about how music should be played. When one plays with a symphony orchestra, one usually takes into consideration what the conductor says. Not Glen Gould. 😊 I remember listening to a recording in which the conductor said — before the piece had even started — (paraphrasing) that he disagreed with Mr. Gould’s interpretation, but they would go ahead and play it Glen Gould’s way. 😊

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2. Putting this in sophisticated highfalutin language 🙂 —  abuse victims and care recipients can use the Transtheoretical Model For Change to push back against helpers who are operating from the Colonial Code of Relationship.

   Love this, Barbara.

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