When Ps Jason Meyer mutualized the blame in domestic abuse
In a video posted by Bethlehem Baptist Church, Pastor Jason Meyer introduced Pastor Chris Moles’ presentation on domestic abuse at Bethlehem Baptist Church. Meyer explained headship and submission and he gave an example of how he counseled an ‘insensitive husband’.
Meyer told the husband, “You’re tearing each other apart”.
By saying ‘each other’ Jason Meyer was mutualizing the blame: he was depicting both spouses as tearing the relationship apart.
Here is a transcript of a portion of the video where Meyer is talking about the ‘insensitive husband.” (transcription starts 26:35 in the video Chris Moles All Church-Understanding & Addressing Domestic Abuse )
…Two halves of one. Become one flesh. And so now he says husbands – it’s not just sinful to not love your wife. It’s stupid. It’s incredibly stupid. Because when you hurt her it’s a boomerang – you’re just hurting yourself. And he says nobody does that. When you wake up in the morning you don’t just say, “Huh, Should I take a brick and should I drop it on my toe this morning or should I go have breakfast.?” Yes, of course, you always decide to care for yourself. Nobody’s going to beat themselves up that way. And so He says, Husbands, you already do this in caring for yourself. Now your wife is one flesh with you. So hurting her is hurting yourself.
One time I really tried to get this home to somebody that was just really an insensitive husband. And I was saying, “Brother, you’re not happy at all. Do you see what’s happened? You’re in this tug of war all the time. You’re trying to get control. You’re being coercive and oppressive. Neither of you are happy. You know why? Because you’re one. And you’re tearing each other apart….”
PS. I had hoped these foolish words were a slip that Pastor Meyer might now have repented of. But that seems to have been a vain hope. How can I be so sure? Because we clipped that section of BBC’s Vimeo video and put it on my YouTube channel in order for us to show it to you here. And we posted the clip in an ‘update’ on a previous post we had published about Jason Meyer. Either Bethlehem Baptist are lurking at our blog and saw our update, or they are tracking whether their Vimeo material is being posted elsewhere, because I received a message from YouTube telling me that Bethlehem Baptist had complained that I’d infringed their copyright by posting that short clip from their video onto my YouTube channel.
Since I got that message from YouTube, I have checked and verified that Meyer has not removed that part of his original video — so presumable he must think it is all fine. Nothing to apologise for there, nothing to retract there. Just demand that Barbara not be allowed to have the clip on her YouTube channel.
And by the way, as I understand copyright laws, they permit “fair use” of a small part of other creator’s content. And “fair use” includes for the purpose of review and critique. The clip we made is no longer on my YouTube site and I’m not going to fight Bethlehem Baptist over that. It’s not worth my time.
Jason Meyer is the teaching pastor at Bethlehem Baptist Church (John Piper’s old church).
Other ACFJ posts about Jason Meyer and Bethlehem Baptist Church
My Defense Against the Public Attack by Bethlehem Baptist Church — a reblog from Natalie (published at ACFJ in Feb 2017; originally published by Natalie in Dec 2016)