Thursday Thought — It’s not your Fault
UPDATE Sept 2021: I have come to believe that Jeff Crippen does not practise what he preaches. He vilely persecuted an abuse victim and spiritually abused many other people in the Tillamook congregation. Go here to read the evidence. Jeff has not gone to the people that he spiritually and emotionally abused. He has not apologised to them, let alone asked for their forgiveness.
After understanding the mentality and tactics of abusers, would you say that there is anything a victim could do to. . . relieve the abusive situation? Could she submit more, keep the children quieter and more obedient, mother him, keep the house more perfect, lose twenty pounds, be more seductive, cater to his every whim, console him in his tirades, and never mention her needs or desires or thoughts at all? Would that make him stop abusing and become kind and loving?
No. The root of abuse is not in the behavior of the victim but in the mentality of the abuser.
(from Jeff Crippen’s Unholy Charade: Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church [*Affiliate link] p179)