Our Fourth Anniversary of Helping Victims of Domestic Abuse

UPDATE  Sept 2021:  Barbara Roberts has come to believe that Jeff Crippen does not practise what he preaches.  He vilely persecuted an abuse victim and spiritually abused many other people in the Tillamook congregation. Go here to read the evidence. Jeff has not gone to the people that he spiritually and emotionally abused. He has not apologised to them, let alone asked for their forgiveness.


Behold, I cry out, ‘Violence!’ but I am not answered; I call for help, but there is no justice.” (Job 19:7)

Four years ago today, January 7, 2012, ACFJ’s first post was published.  And while we have experienced many changes, one thing remains the same: we continue to cry out for justice for victims of domestic violence and abuse!

On this four year anniversary we want to recap some of the changes and growth that we have had.  Come along as we take a trip down memory lane.


January 7, 2012:  First post was published — Diotrephes and the Evangelical Church 

August 2012:  Facebook page added

December 2013:  Saint Lucy banner added — Our new banner: Saint Lucy warning the Governor

March 2014:  Pinterest [This link is broken. Editors.] page up and running

January 2015:  We starting tweeting our posts on our Twitter account

October 2015:  Pastor Crippen’s new book published: Unholy Charade: Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church


Screen Shot 2016-01-06 at 7.15.57 AM*Views: number of times a post or page is viewed
*Visitors:  number of people who visit the blog

Screen Shot 2016-01-06 at 6.43.36 PM

Screen Shot 2016-01-06 at 6.43.54 PM

Dispelling the Fog of Abuse

We often speak of the confusion that victims experience as the ‘fog of abuse’. To help victims navigate and eventually dispel that fog, we help victims learn about the abuser’s mentality and tactics, and we show them what scripture says about abusers.

But the abuser is not the only one who causes confusion and keeps people in bondage — so do many big name Christian ministries.  To help victims navigate the harmful and unbiblical advice that fills many pulpits, books and ministries, we have done numerous critiques.  Here are the main ones:

*The above list is not complete; in addition we have named certain denominations and ministries on our Hall of Blind Guides page.


18 thoughts on “Our Fourth Anniversary of Helping Victims of Domestic Abuse”

  1. Wow, from 4,000 to 97,000 in one year? That’s amazing! Goes to show that there’s a pretty decent social media grapevine, and that this was a HUGE need.

    1. Yes, there is a huge need for material like this.

      When I was submitting the manuscript of my book to Christian publishers, trying to get one of them to accept it for publication, I think that none of them understood how huge this unmet need is.

      Maybe they are now regretting the fact that they rejected my book, but I do not regret it. I ended up becoming a publisher myself because no-one else would publish it, and that has meant I have had complete control over the content, front and back cover, and design of the layout.

  2. Wow – a very, very fitting list to publish on your fourth anniversary. I’m glad you posted it for ease of reference. Amazing how long that is. And it keeps growing…

    May the Lord continue to bless this ministry at ACfJ with wisdom, discernment, and comfort for all who come here.

  3. Happy Anniversary! I am so glad you are here. I have to laugh @ how good the Lord is sometimes. His love for us is so personal and kind. Just recently I have had several things on my heart that I have been praying about and God has answered them all here.

    1st, I have gotten better @ spotting abusers in my life but not too good about how to deal with them. Yesterday someone spoke about Gray Rock & when I looked online, a post you did on the subject came up. There was tremendous help there for me.

    2nd, I wanted to go back to the beginning of your blog and work my way through, as time allows. I was going to ask what the first blog post was to help me attain that and presto today the link is here to help me do just that.

    3rd, I was wondering about the difference between God’s conviction and the devil’s attacks. Yesterday this was clearly addressed in your post.

    So God has clearly used these resources as answers to my prayers. Thank you and God bless you for all your time and help.

    1. BBGB I’m with you about your comments about ACFJ being used as a place to answer prayers. I also want to go through every post from the beginning, as I leave these pages in a state of gratitude and often astonishment. I feel freer too each blog I read. I recognise that this new found freedom is the power of the Word to transform. I’ve heard the Word before but it was tainted with men’s lenses and male privilege and was therefore just a tool of oppression. The pure Word, is pure life and freedom and joy! This is the difference I find in this blog, the lens of male privilege removed is actually freedom for both men and women.
      Now that I’ve seen a little of the work that goes into the maintanance of this website I’m even more grateful to staff here, some of whose identities are unknown. They work tirelessly and sacrificially more than the readers know. May God richly bless them for their sacrificial work.

      1. Thanks APDR! I like projects. This will be my new project for this year to try and go through all the posts and comments to help me grow in my understanding of abuse and it’s effects in my life. This is such a phenomenal resource and am so thankful to God for finding it.

      2. haha, that’s the first time I’ve been called one of the ‘staff’ at ACFJ. 🙂 We are all volunteers here, not paid staff members. We usually refer to ourselves the ACFJ team. 🙂

        God brought us together, and we continue to be amazed about how He grows the blog and helps it flourish.

  4. Thank you for this wonderful blog, and all the sacrificial effort needed to bring support and comfort to those who have been impacted by relational and spiritual abuse. This blog is a shining light exposing the darkness!

    1. Happy anniversary not just to ACFJ but to grateful readers whose confusion and pain has found an answer and healing on these pages. I’m going to celebrate this date as my personal anniversary where at last I understood my divorces were approved of by God and honoring to Him. I’ve had shame about that “failure” when in fact it is cause to celebrate God’s kindness, mercy, and compassion. I’m reclaiming my value as God’s beloved daughter and this will be the anniversary date for me of doing so, from now on!

  5. Many thanks to Jeff and Barbara for the standing up for the abused. You have helped us see the truth, move us out of the fog and gain strength to live. Providing living water to those of us who have lived in a dry and thirsty land is why ACFJ draws many to this work.

    1. Thank you Mark. 🙂 We like to hear from men who approve of our work. May I ask how you found us and what your interest is in this topic? (Don’t feel obliged to reply if you don’t wish to.)

  6. I am so glad you are here for me and all the others in need.

    Recently, I randomly started crying while reading blog and again while listening to one of P Crippen’s sermons. At first I thought it was frustration. Until I started reading here I thought I was a good Christian and now I’m not even sure I’m smart enough. I’m reading my Bible, listening but still so much I don’t know or understand. Not even sure what it is to do to be a real Christian, other than I’m not there yet. But, it really didn’t feel like frustration, the anger or hopelessness I usually feel when frustrated. After a while I realized what it was. I feel accepted, supported and loved here. If I showed up at your church, I would be welcomed with open arms. My pseudo ex knows I’m online (doesn’t know which blogs / forum just knows I have online support) and have what he calls fake friends. But, the truth is these people who I never met in real life care about me more than he ever has or will. You supported all in need. Even pseudo Christian like me. After decades someone wants me, wants me as I am, but also wants me to learn and grow and become what I am meant to be. Not locked up at home stifled and unwanted yet a prisoner, not allowed to leave. Hoping my escape will be soon, but for now, I’m wanted by your ministry and even better want by the Lord. I don’t quite know the path yet but confident he will show me the way. Thanks for all you do.

    1. Scared momma – Yes, you are loved. Many of us have had much to learn and glean from God’s Word and it is wonderful that this ministry is available to untwist Scriptures used against the weak and vulnerable. ((hugs))

  7. Behold, I cry out, ‘Violence!’ but I am not answered; I call for help, but there is no justice. (Job 19:7)

    Because the ‘c’hristians wouldn’t answer our pleas … the victims went searching and are grateful that we were led to this ministry.
    Thank you for your commitment and rejoice in this anniversary.

  8. Congratulations and thank you, ACFJ! The resources you provide are invaluable to someone struggling to leave the “FOG”. The support from everyone here, the knowledge shared, the caring, the prayers … make a huge difference in the quality of life for so many of us.

    Although I still fall into confusion and guilt, fear and shame sometimes – because of what I learn here, it does happen less as the truth sinks in and the lies are uncovered and destroyed.

    Thank you so much for this vital ministry!

  9. This Web site has saved my sanity and answered so many questions for me. I think my head is on so much straighter. I usually just read and learn, but feel compelled to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you do.

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