A Critique Forum on the Article “In a Difficult Marriage?” | at “Kyria” by Elisabeth K. Corcoran
The following link is to an article I just read online entitled “In a Difficult Marriage?” The author, Elisabeth Corcoran, does not provide details of why her marriage was difficult, so we are at somewhat of a disadvantage in evaluating the advice she gives in this article. However, as I read through it, I was struck with the fact that if what she is writing as advice were taken to heart by an abuse victim, real damage and trouble could result. That is my take on it anyway.
I provide the first few paragraphs to the article here and then you can just click on the link to read the rest. I would be very, very interested in hearing your evaluations of Corcoran’s advice and I think that perhaps in posting these comments we can do some good for victims who are no doubt coming across the same kinds of counsel. And if I am wrong and you think Corcoran’s advice is good, well, say so. And there are some things here that are good, so we should point them out as well:
This may seem ironic or even hypocritical: I am a divorcing woman, giving advice on how to stay married. After many years of work, my marriage has come to an end. But let me point out two things. One, I stayed married for quite a long time, and two, I believe 100 percent in marriage. I am pro-marriage and always will be.
So here are some things you can do if you find yourself in a marriage that feels more difficult than the norm. These are the things I tried over the years to hold on as long as I did.
I’m writing this to the people I have met over the years who have told me that they are in a hard marriage and don’t know if they can keep going one more day. And trust me, I have met way too many people in that situation who are followers of Jesus married to followers of Jesus. Being a Christian does not exempt you from marital problems; in fact, the downside is, we tend to keep it to ourselves and suffer in silence much longer than the rest of the world.
Prayer. I have counted on prayer to get me through. I have begged God to work in my life and marriage more than I’ve prayed for anything else. I have sobbed my way through prayers on my bathroom floor. To be honest, though, I have also prayed more than I’d like to admit that God would release me. I wanted out of my marriage for as long as I can remember, and I was honest with God about it. But I also prayed for my spouse … on my knees … begging God to heal. I stayed through a steady stream of conversations and pleas and whispers to God.
The Holy Spirit. Only the Holy Spirit could have done the work in me that he’s done so far. I have so, so far to go, but he burned raging out of me. I still yell sometimes, I’m sad to say. I still have anger issues. But the Holy Spirit worked in me to help me hold my tongue more than I have given myself credit for. I stayed through having the Spirit of God living in me keeping me there when I didn’t want to be there.