Domestic & family violence survivors answer “Was it really that bad?” – from ABC TV Australia

“Was it really that bad?”  “What are the scars?”  “Why didn’t you leave?”

Australia’s ABC TV has been broadcasting a series called You Can’t Ask That. The series is helping break down misinformation, false concepts and stereotypes.

In this episode, survivors of domestic and family violence talk about their experiences. We hear from several different survivors including an aboriginal woman, a Christian woman, a woman from a non-English speaking background, a gay man, and a woman who suffered brain injury as a result of the domestic violence. You might want a trigger warning as the survivors describe some horrific things. But their tone and dignity is wonderful: you can see they honour themselves and each other. They are proud of being survivors, without being boastful or over-inflated.

Make sure you keep watching as they’ve broken the episode into several parts.

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Note: Some people may think that  by sharing this secular TV program I am  endorsing the idea that it’s fine to practice homosexual or lesbian sex. I am not endorsing that view.

ABC TV is a secular TV channel, it takes an amoral stance on same sex relationships. The gay man in this TV episode is a survivor of domestic abuse from his previous gay male partner. His testimony shows several things that confound the “Domestic Abuse is Patriarchy Writ Large” thesis.  Intimate partner abuse can and does sometimes take place in heterosexual relationships and in homosexual and lesbian relationships. The simplistic analysis that “intimate partner abuse is caused by patriarchy (men oppressing women)”  is proved inadequate by the existence of intimate partner abuser in some same-sex relationships.

Having said that, I do recognise this: Society’s tolerance of men mistreating women, and en-culturating boys & men so they tend to assume they have more privileges than women — those things are definite contributors to the prevalence of men mistreating their female intimate partners.