A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

Examples of Victim-Blaming played out in Everyday Scenarios

Victim-blaming is an all too common tactic of abusers.  Huffington Post recently posted an article that featured victim-blaming logic using three one-minute videos.   As you will see it’s not very logical!

This Is How Victim-Blaming Logic would play out in Everyday Scenarios

Each video depicts an ordinary setting in which one character uses victim-blaming behavior to excuse their problematic actions, similar to the victim-blaming actions in cases of sexual assault and domestic abuse. The three clips show a wedding cake baker appreciating his newest creation, two young women perusing an art gallery and a toilet bowl salesman who gets an unlikely surprise from a custom who needs to go the the bathroom.


For those having a problem with the links to the examples we have put them below.

It’s Illogical:  The Wedding Caterer

It’s Illogical:  The Hardware Store

It’s Illogical:  The Art Gallery


  1. Rambling Rose Inspiration

    Powerfully true!

  2. anonymous

    It’s a welcome relief to see these types of things put together. I liked the whole, ‘get your signals straight!’ line.

    Sadly, these illustrations are so badly needed to show just how ludicrous victim-blaming logic actually is……

    There is so much abuse, victim-blaming, victim-shaming. It’s everywhere. My life is just overwhelmingly painful and full of trauma, victimization, abuse, etc. that such messages are actually needed by me so i can keep myself from drowning in abusers’ indoctrination and lies.

    Love that you linked these to the site.

  3. Charis

    I will leave the same comment here as I did over at Wartburg Watch. Someone there supposed that people do not blame victims when their house is broken into; however, that is not always the case. Victim blaming is prevalent and pervasive regardless of the incident. For instance, when I was 30, I was assaulted by a complete stranger while asleep in my bed. I realize I am a statistic and that God’s hand of protection was mighty in those terrifying moments.

    One thing that surprised me was the amount of guilt and shame heaped upon me that the attack was my fault. I shouldn’t have rented “that” apartment in “that” part of town. I shouldn’t have been on the ground floor. I shouldn’t have been living on my own (I should have had a roommate). I shouldn’t have had my screen door open to let in the warm breeze on a pleasant May night. And on and on and on. From cops, from friends, from family, from the detectives. It was pervasive.

    Victim blaming has got to stop! I never went to counseling…partly because of this blaming and partly because I felt somehow responsible. First, I thought she wouldn’t believe me and second – I survived. I thought if I went to therapy and told the counselor my story she would demand I not waste her time. I talked down my attacker. I made it through when many other women suffered a much worse fate.

    I know now that is false. No one has the right to enter my property without my consent. And no one has the right to hold me hostage in my house or to touch my body without my “yes” freely given.

    The same is true for sexual assault and abuse – of which I am also a survivor. Consent is the key and respect is the rule.

    It doesn’t matter if I leave my windows or doors open. It doesn’t matter how I dress or if I smile at you. If you are not invited in – stay out!

    • Thank you Charis. I’m thinking that what you’ve said will help other victims. 🙂

    • Anonymous, too

      Exactly. Victim-blaming has been described as something people do to make themselves feel comforted and safe…. which I agree is the case in certain instances, like I can recall when I was young, decades ago, someone’s car had been broken into and all the CDs were stolen but insurance would only put another window in the car, nothing more, so the person was out hundreds upon hundreds of dollars. I remember thinking to myself, ‘that’s why you don’t leave your CD collection in your car’ and thankfully I kept my big mouth shut, but I comforted myself and kept my illusions of safety intact by applauding myself for making sure my car was always very boring, had no appeal, and I kept nothing in the car.

      But who cares if the person has stacks of cash in the passenger seat, lit up and accentuated by neon arrows blinking and pointing to the cash?! It is their car, nobody has the right to break into the car and steal that person’s stuff.

      Thankfully I am pretty sure I kept my mouth shut, but I was young and I do remember buying into the just-world fallacy.

      Now I know better and the LORD has had to carry me through so very much, but my goodness, I know how cut to the core I have been, how silenced and gutted I have become whenever anyone has said the standard victim blaming responses to me about DV / SA.

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