A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

Thursday Thought — How can I tell Whom to Trust?

When deciding whom to trust, bear in mind that the combination of consistently bad or egregiously inadequate behavior with frequent plays for your pity is as close to a warning mark on a conscienceless person’s forehead as you will ever be given.  A person whose behavior includes both of these features is not necessarily a mass murderer, or even violent at all, but is still probably not someone you should befriend, take on as your business partner, ask to take care of your children, or marry.

(Excerpt from Martha Stout’s book, The Sociopath Next Door [*Affiliate link], p109)


Further Reading

Do not Pity the Wicker:  Abusers use Pity as a Snare

Nor Shall Your Eye Pity Him

Christians Need to Get “Pity” Right and Stop Pitying the Wicked While Refusing Pity to the Innocent

*Amazon affiliate link — ACFJ gets a small percentage if you purchase via this link


  1. notlongnow

    Excellent advice.

  2. Lea

    Hemingway said ‘The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.’

    This way is slightly more helpful.

  3. Eagerlabs

    Thanks for the book link posting! Exactly what I was looking for:)

    • Hi Eagerlabs, welcome to the blog. We always like to encourage new readers to check out our New Users Info page as it gives tips for how to guard your safety while commenting on the blog.

  4. Sarah

    My counsellor had me write this quote on my wall.

    “Men like to be respected and admired. So for goodness sake, marry a man worthy of respect and admiration.”

    In my case, she said, it applies to whom you even consider their opinion. If they aren’t worthy of respect and admiration, throw their criticisms/judgements/comments in the bin where they belong. And don’t keep these people as friends.

  5. Stronger Now

    Wishing I had heard this advice so, so, so long ago. I could have been spared so much pain and heartache.

  6. Keeningforthedawn

    Eyes opened.

  7. Finding Answers

    I was too young to read when this information would have been helpful… (sigh)

Leave a Reply to Barbara Roberts Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: