A Typical, Enslaving, Abuser-Enabling Statement by a Professing Christian
Recently on our Facebook page we posted a news article about the murder of a young mother in Portland, Oregon. She was killed on Christmas day by her wicked abuser. He later shot and seriously injured a police officer before police were able to kill him. Among the comments on facebook in response to this post, one woman said this: [I admonished her for it and then deleted it. I can just about guarantee you that she will not listen and learn. People who spout these kinds of things rarely do] —
Christ can and has changed the heart of many an abuser….not sure ending it is the best right off,,,but separation, if it is physical, yes….
Every single word in this statement is so, so wrong and so, so damaging to victims. It is chuck full of the typical false notions and teachings that abound in most local churches. People have been taught these lies both formally and informally by their pastors, by books written by the big-wheel Christian celebrities, and by one another. The traditions of men are repeated like a mantra over and over in the church and paraded as being the Word of God. They are not.
Let’s take a look –
“Christ can and has changed the heart of many an abuser”
Oh really? Data to prove that statement? Because WE can give you piles of data in case after case after case that demonstrates just the opposite. Christ does not “change the heart” of wicked people who refuse to repent. And that is precisely what abusers are — wicked people who do not repent. Has an abuser ever in the history of humanity ever been converted? Maybe, but NOT unless he genuinely repents and is broken like the Prodigal son. But abusers don’t approach anyone in a humble, contrite, broken manner. If they seem to, it is only because they are skilled in deception. This statement serves to guilt and further enslave victims — “If you only had faith like ME, sweetie, you would stay and pray for your husband and you would look to your own sins that contribute to your marriage problems and then maybe God would save your husband who you need to show respect for.” Yada, yada, yada. So, so twisted.
“Not sure ending is the best right off…but separation…”
Let’s translate this pious saint’s words here to get to what she really means: “God does not really approve of divorce, and even if He does maybe permit it, it is still sin for you and second best. You can maybe, perhaps, possibly separate…for a time…but then you must go back.” Doesn’t it just kill you how these people spew this stuff without blinking an eye? They don’t know anything at all about evil, about abusers, but they jump up on their soapbox and wax eloquent on the topic.
“but separation…if it is physical…yes”
Oh gee, thank you so much for granting that permission (yes, I’m dripping sarcasm here). If it is physical. If he punches your lights out, rapes you, molests the children, well, yeah go ahead and separate. But don’t divorce you know. God hates the big “D” you know. “You say he terrorizes you in non-physical ways? Oh come on, you need to grow up. Every marriage has its struggles. God wants you to become more holy by experiencing these things.”
ALL of those things and more are jam-packed into this woman’s short but incredibly and wickedly damaging statement. I hope she reads this post and sees herself.