A Rape on the Subway — by Jessica Fore
Jessica Fore’s latest post is A Rape on the Subway. It starts with a parable about how bystanders often respond poorly to victims of abuse, and then Jessica explains how Christians and churches ought to respond to victims of abuse. We won’t re-publish it here as we are hoping you will click on the link and read it at Jessica’s blog.
And you might like consider following Jessica’s blog. She is the woman who recently went public about how she might get excommunicated by her PCA church. (link)
- Posted in: Unjust church responses
- Tagged: church response to abuse, guest post, justice, widows
Most likely all of us here at one time or another have heard these words: “Just get over it.” Cruel and damaging words that kick us in the stomach and pack a powerful punch that can set us back in our recovery and healing process, and in many cases just to survive another day. And when we hear these words, at least the very first time I did (from a close family member – who has since apologized), I recall having a deep, heavy and sad feeling of incredible loneliness and shame.
This “just get over it mentality” in many ways is understandable because after all, who wants to deal with and look square in the eye into REAL EVIL and all the devastation, destruction, dysfunction and death it leaves behind? To anyone reading this who has NEVER been attacked and / or deceived and duped by these monstrous predator / wolves, please don’t think for one moment that we ever wanted to “deal” with real evil either! And no one MORE than we do wants to “just get over it.” But we recognize our lives have been forever altered. Abuse changes you. It takes away your ‘innocence’ to trust. It puts you on a new course in life and we accept that because we trust God will use it for a greater good, but as we travel that “new course” and make every attempt to heal and regain that which has been taken from us in the grip of horrific and evil attacks, please take care as you speak of things that happened on a road you have never personally traveled (and I hope never do!!).
So, to those ‘do-nothing’ people who stand back and watch as a rape occurs, and those same people who afterwards just want all the EVIL swept under the rug and forgotten so they can get on with the ‘nice things’ of life, and those ‘do-nothing’ people who say to the victim who has just been treated like a piece of garbage, “Just get over it”, we would rather you keep your mouth shut rather than speak to us of things where you are completely, and often times by choice, without knowledge and wisdom. We do not have the luxury of kicking the can down the road and deal with our devastation later, no, this road to recovery requires immediate action and the call to accept reality at all cost, so that as we travel our road to recovery we get back that which has been robbed from us, just like a thief in the night.
Very well written blog post by Jessica, and the response from Anonymous was spot on. I have nothing to add to either, except to say Thank You to both.
I left this post all this time in my inbox. I couldn’t read it because of the name: A Rape on the Subway. I couldn’t get past that without feeling violated. It is a wonderfully written parallel with what happens in the church and with our own families while we are dealing with abuse. My sister, who is a baby Christian, says I don’t see why our family can’t just move on. Maybe because I see / smell the stench of injustice every time I see one of those guilty of sexual assault in their past and them being coddled while their victims are told to “just move on”. I can’t even express the taste in my mouth when those words are said. My childhood abuser is deceased. There are others who’s abuser is still alive. I am told that he has changed his life. I hope so…..but it would take a lot of convincing for me to believe it and it doesn’t change the facts for those who’s lives he tarnished forever.
Brenda – Thank you for sharing. ((Hugs)) ❤
Yes, Brenda R. And in addition, even if there were true repentance, victims of the evil are under no obligation at all to believe that repentance. If it is real, the Lord will know it on the day of judgment. But we distance ourselves and go no contact and that is wisdom.