Abusers even blame God — but it isn’t going to fly
He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours.’ But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. (Matt 25:24-27)
We know that abusers are never wrong. Never. They blame. They shame. They accuse. They are never, ever wrong. You see it played out here in this parable of our Lord. When the wicked servant was called to give account for what his master had entrusted him with, he said that he hid it in the ground and thus made no return on it. But his failure was not his own. Oh no. It was his master’s fault according to him. Fear for his master’s harshness made the poor fellow do this, you see.
Of course the guy’s excuse doesn’t fly with the master. If in fact what motivated him was fear of his master, then logically he should have worked all the more to make a return on the talent, not bury it in the ground. In fact, he just wanted to keep it all for himself, denying the fact that it belonged to his master, not to him.
Abusers are almost ingenious when it comes to inventing these self-justifying excuses. “You put the words in my mouth. It wasn’t really me who said that.” “I had to do this because you….”. We’ve all heard it many times, right?
How do we identify an abuser? Well, here is one very likely sign that you are dealing with just such a power and control freak. He is never wrong. Oh, he may throw out an occasional “apology” but it will almost always be attached to some kind of “but you….” caveat. False, more superficial apologies are quite often given by abusers which I call “preemptive strikes.” They look like an apology and may even be a confession of some wrong the abuser did, but they are motivated by an evil desire to dupe and deceive. “Hey, I said I am sorry. What more do you want from me?” That kind of thing.
Won’t work. Not gonna work. Not when the Master comes.