A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

Thursday Thought — Reducing Recidivism

A gem from the GEMS page. The GEMS page can be found under INSIGHTS on the top menu bar.

You take a guy like [former NFL running back] Ray Rice, a guy who can just cold-cock his wife like that and think you’re going to send him to a little counseling?  No way,” said Lundy Bancroft, the former director of Emerge, the nation’s first reform program for abusive men.  “Once a guy starts abusing women he locks in, in many ways,” he added.  “Jail takes a bigger bite out of recidivism* than even the good batterers intervention programs do. (quote by Lundy Bancroft from this article:  Why Domestic Violence Prevention Programs Don’t Work)

*According to Merriam-Webster.com recidivism is defined as the tendency to relapse into a previous condition or mode of behavior.

***IMPORTANT NOTE:  While we endorse Lundy’s writings about the dynamics of domestic abuse, we do not recommend anyone attend the ‘healing retreats’ Lundy Bancroft offers or become involved in his ‘Peak Living Network.’ See our post, ACFJ Does Not Recommend Lundy Bancroft’s Retreats or His New Peak Living Network for more about our concerns.


  1. Annie

    “Once a guy starts abusing women he locks in, in many ways,”

    Yep. Experience that.

    My husband will do everything possible to never back track anything he’s ever done to me. It gets ridiculous how silly he appears in his efforts to behave as if choices he’s made towards me are ok. Even when it’s glaringly obvious he’s wrong he will sit there and with an innocent face insist he’s right and I deserve whatever he dishes out.

  2. KayE

    It’s not just the abuser who locks in, so do his allies. And often also lawyers, judges, social workers, psychologists, doctors, even members of the victim’s own family, including their children. Once that happens it’s very very difficult to break. It happens because people don’t understand the true nature of the abuser, or the reality of his predator/prey relationship with the victim.

  3. Freed by God

    There is an evil rewriting of history that occurs in the minds of abusers. Their memory does not work like ours.

    • nt12many, could you pls email me to talk about the other idea you have suggested to us? thanks

    • Freed by God – You stated it so well. For years I was baffled at how abuser(s) in my life could so readily forget … When confronted about a situation I’ve had one in particular act dumbfounded and say, “I can’t believe I said that.”
      Short term memory?? At least whenever it involved me it seemed that way.

  4. Scaredmomma

    Nothing will change unless legal system changes. In a system that allows someone who abuses his wife/family to have 50% custody of kids, punishes mom for not protecting children from him, allows him to keep visitation if refuses to pay support why would he change. Courts rarely recognize any abuse other than severe physical abuse. Why would these men change, they don’t want any consequence and they usually get away with little or no consequence. Even after leaving, the abuse continues because the woman is forces to interact with him due to children. The abuse never ends

  5. Finding Answers

    I followed the link to the NBC news story and two things stood out:

    First, physical violence was referred to with greater frequency in domestic abuse / violence, little to no mention of the other forms of abuse.

    Second, towards the end of the article, reference was made to “stress dripping off those walls.”

    Stereotypical, though not surprising considering the circumstances that opened the Pandora’s box.

    If only a fragment of the picture is discussed, the “solution” will be ignoring huge segments of the population.

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