A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

A Little One to Pray for This Lord’s Day

UPDATE Sept 2021: I have come to believe that Jeff Crippen does not practise what he preaches. He vilely persecuted an abuse victim and spiritually abused many other people in the Tillamook congregation. Go here to read the evidence. Jeff has not gone to the people that he spiritually and emotionally abused. He has not apologised to them, let alone asked for their forgiveness.

***

Yesterday one of our ACFJ team members had the following experience in a public place:

[Trigger warning]

There was a man sitting outside with his 10 yr old daughter. The girl had her head in her hands and had her back to him. He was giving her a lecture. Every word came to me through the breeze–

You will never understand what has gone on between your mother and me. I don’t care what she says. She is a liar. It’s all bull&%*#.!! You tell your mama she’s a liar! I would kill myself if you believe her! I could fill your ears right now with all kinds of things you don’t know about!

So, this Lord’s day, let’s all remember to pray for this little girl, for her mother, and pray against this abuser. How do we know he is an abuser?  Perhaps in your comments to this post you could identify some of the abuser markers in what he was saying and doing to this girl. This will serve as a good exercise for us too.  But primarily, we want to pray for the oppressed here today.

Mat 18:10  See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.

19 Comments

  1. Heather2

    This poor child has now become another victim. She will think that it is her responsibility to fix it. When will abusers stop the pain and manipulations?

    Praying for her and other children like her who think it is up to them to protect, shield, and make it better. I know. I was one.

  2. Brenda R

    This man clearly was using his child to further abuse his wife. It didn’t matter to him how it made his child feel and that she was now being abused, it was for his own sick desire to inflict pain on another person. In doing so he hurt his daughter and the mother of his child. He threatened to kill himself. How much responsibility would this child feel if that happened? He is asking her to choose between her mother and father. No place a child should ever be.

    A good father, if asked, may have said, “It has nothing to do with you sweetheart. Your mother and I both love you very much and always will. We just can’t be together like you would hope we would right now. I hope someday as you get older you will understand and forgive us. I love you and will always be there for you.”

    Clearly this man doesn’t care who he hurts as long as he gets to hurt his wife no matter how he has to do it.

    • Happy2bhere

      Exactly. Going to pray for that little girl. Those words said to her were just awful, and that was in public.

  3. Still Scared( but getting angry)

    The threat of suicide, know it too well. So wrong!!

  4. Anonymous

    Let us indeed pray for the oppressed. Mat 18:6, 7 “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes!”
    I was one of those little girls and then entered into an abusive relationship which sadly has produced more oppressed children. Dear Lord, forgive us and give us the strength to truly “love” and protect the weak.

  5. Song of Joy

    In a mere fifty-seven words we have…
    Brainwashing – “You will never understand what has gone on between your mother and me.”
    Heartlessness – “I dont care what she says.”
    Accusatory slander – “She is a liar.”
    Cursing slander – “It’s all bull&%*#.!”
    Tyrannical triangulation errand-sending slander – “You tell your mama she’s a liar!”
    Threats of violence – “I would kill myself…”
    Guilt burdening – “…if you believe her!”
    More brainwashing – “I could fill your ears right now with all kinds of things you don’t know about!”
    (repeat cycle, over and over again)

  6. D.Anne

    His need to defend himself even to his own 10 year daughter speaks to his guilt.

  7. I wish I could tell that girl…. Good men bring peace with them. Not tears and sadness and bad feelings all of the time.

    This abuser was setting this girl up. Creating a situation where she “can’t believe anything her mother says” or he will “kill himself”, plus insinuating that there are all kinds of terrible things the girl doesn’t know about her mother. We don’t have to know a thing about her mother to know this guy is an abuser.

  8. cindy burrell

    Father God, confound the plans of the enemy and bring light and truth to the mind and heart of that little girl. Give her discernment and strength to see what is right and real and let Your mighty justice be done. In the name of our Intercessor, our perfect Savior and Lord, the Way, the Truth and the Life. Amen.

    • Still Scared( but getting angry)

      Amen

  9. fiftyandfree

    Very sad. Lord, please help that little girl to know your love, and please heal her broken heart. Amen.

  10. A good parent would not dump his anger on his child like that. A good parent would not embarrass his child in public like that. A good parent would allow his child to have a different point of view from himself, and would respect her right to have a different point of view. A good parent might even praise his child for having the courage and confidence to articulate her own point of view. I say that because it seems to me that this guy’s rant was probably prompted by some tiny thing the girl had said, probably in all meekness and honestly.

    An abusive person can’t abide someone having a different point of view from them. An abuser tries to drive people to adopt and agree 100% with HIS viewpoint, and doesn’t care how much coercion, manipulation, game-playing and power & control tactics he uses to achieve that. An abuser doesn’t care how much his words and actions hurt and frighten his child. This man is highly abusive.

    And if that’s how he allows himself to behave in public, imagine how much worse he can be behind closed doors!

    I’m praying for this little girl and for all who are or have been in her kind of situation.

    And I’m adding a trigger warning to the top of this post.

  11. Also, his crazy-making tactic of saying “I could fill your ears right now with all kinds of things you don’t know about!” — as if he is being so noble and self-controlled by not filling her ears with all that dirt he has on her mother. Of course, most if not all of that dirt would be things of his own invention, concocted out of his blame-shifting mentality.

    See what a great guy he is by not telling his daughter all the horrible things her mother has done!

    And he would probably expect her to think he is so kind and caring of her for not filling her ears with all that dirt. He might even expect her to praise him for how restrained he has been in what he told her about her mother!

  12. I’m feeling hopeful that this girl has a lot of people praying for her today that she probably won’t ever know about. That is amazing.

  13. Another thought. It is very likely that this girl was on court-ordered visitation with her dad.

    Here’s a possible idea which I am considering for the future. If I found myself happening to witness an abusive episode in public like the one this girl was subject to, I might try to video it with my mobile phone. I would not post the video publicly, but I would post in writing on the internet describing the incident and naming the date place and time. If the protective mother/parent happened to hear about my post, she could contact me privately and I might make the video available to her to use in the family court to try to get the court to stop the visitation or at least change it to supervised visitation only.

    Domestic Violence is EVERYONE’S business! And until our society sees it that way, abusers will find it pretty easy to get away with their evil deeds.

    • Brenda R

      Barb I don’t have that capability on my phone, but couldn’t a video like that be taken to the local Friend of the Court or Child Protection agency? They may be able to locate the child.

  14. Forrest

    “He was giving her a lecture.”

    Right there we get our first red flag. This is never the right way to explain what is going on to a child. It is clear that the lecturer is not considering for the child but only for himself. What he says confirms this.

  15. Forrest

    Reblogged this on Tùr Làidir.

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