How abusers are like mercury – by Song
One of our readers, Song, gave us this amazing analogy of how abusers are like mercury. She wrote it as a comment on a previous post, but it is so good we are reproducing it as post on its own. Thanks, Song, for this image. Images and symbols resonate deep within our subconscious, and they help us know and make sense of the tacit knowledge we already possess.
Here is what Song wrote:
Trying to have a relationship with someone who is abusive reminds me of interacting with a bead of mercury. I remember, when I was a child, seeing a bead of mercury. It looked pleasing and solid until I touched it, then it divided into smaller beads of mercury. The more I touched it, the more the mercury divided, until the pieces were almost invisible and hard to track down. It became a frustrating process when I continued trying to interact with it as if it was a solid bead. Mercury is quick and slippery. And, it is also poisonous, especially in heavy doses or with long-term exposure to smaller doses. Those who work with Mercury, and recognize it as a poisonous substance, learn the necessary steps of precaution and protection to minimize their exposure to it when interacting with Mercury. I learned to not touch it.
Likewise, an abusive person may look and act pleasing and appear like a solid, healthy person until the interact begins. When you try to connect with them, they become slippery, using the tools of their trade in their arsenals to bring the divisiveness into the relationship. The more you try to connect, the more the divisive tools are employed, and the person you thought you were relating to becomes so fragmented that you can’t track them down any more. It can be a frustrating process if you continue to interact with them thinking they are the solid person they first appeared to be. An abusive person can be quick and slippery in their interactions. And, depending on the type of abuse, the heavy doses of abuse or the long term smaller doses, the more you are exposed to them, the more poisonous they are to you. Recognition of and learning how to take care and protect ourselves when dealing with an abusive person can minimize the impact they can have on us.