I had that moment to say something… and I just drove off.

UPDATE  Sept 2021:  I have come to believe that Jeff Crippen does not practise what he preaches.  He vilely persecuted an abuse victim and spiritually abused many other people in the Tillamook congregation. Go here to read the evidence. Jeff has not gone to the people that he spiritually and emotionally abused. He has not apologised to them, let alone asked for their forgiveness.


[December 3, 2022: There have been some changes made to this post. For more information, read the Editors’ notes at the bottom of the post. Editors.]

People who take up the cause of domestic abuse usually do so because something in their personal life has galvanized them into it. Many activists have been victims themselves; others take it up because they are close friends or relatives of a victim. But occasionally bystanders are galvanized purely because they see a noxious example of domestic abuse and the indignation rises and will not go down. They have to fight for change; their consciences will not let them rest.

Here is an anecdote from Ps Jonathan McGriff, from Christian Men Against Domestic Violence. John interviewed Jeff Crippen on BlogTalkRadio recently. (You can listen to the talk here [Internet Archive link].)

Both John and Jeff used to be police officers, and in sharing their experiences John told this story from his days as a young police officer. (The following quote is a rough transcription of a segment of the interview that starts about 20:55 into the broadcast.)

One night it’s about three o’clock in the morning I’m sitting up talking to a guy — we worked on the same squad, we had the same type of beliefs. And both of us are going through trials and tribulations in our marriages so we’re venting to each other. And so he goes into this story about how him and his fiancée were driving down from Tampa to Orlando, and she just kept talking, kept talking and he said “I just reached over and slammed her head into the windshield, and broke it.”

And you know, I just kinda drove off. And that still haunts me to this day, because I’m like “Wow, you know….” and that’s kinda what fused me to continue to talk about domestic violence because I had that moment to say something….  And I was young, I was in my early twenties, but that just struck me like — he thought that was okay! [Emphasis added.]

The Florida Police Force are now getting John to present this story in their training for police officers.

Website of Christian Men Against Domestic Violence [Internet Archive link]. You can also find them on Facebook

[December 3, 2022: Editors’ notes:

—For some comments made prior to December 3, 2022 that quoted from the post, the text in the comment that was quoted from the post might no longer be an exact match.
—For some comments made prior to December 3, 2022 that quoted from the post, the text in the comment that was quoted from the post might no longer be found in the post.
If you would like to compare the text in the comments made prior to December 3, 2022 that quoted from the post to the post as it is now (December 3, 2022), click here [Internet Archive link] for the most recent Internet Archive copy of the post.]

4 thoughts on “I had that moment to say something… and I just drove off.”

  1. Thanks, John and Jeff! It’s really important that we teach people in all types of authority what to do. You’re helping God to reach into the hearts and minds of these young officers! I know it must be frustrating for police (like DV case workers, ER staff, etc.) to see these things happening over and over again, often with the same people. I hope that learning this so early in training helps greatly.

    I have a law enforcement friend who suffered emotional abuse in her first marriage who has been a wonderful resource. But I also hear her talk about some things with frustration because there’s only so much she can do for people who don’t want / aren’t ready for / are afraid of help. So it makes me wonder what our conversations would be like if I had talked to her before I was on my way out.

  2. Thank you for sharing this, Barb. It’s good to hear that Florida is providing this opportunity for Pastor Jon. Florida is notoriously known to be one of the worst states in the country for family court corruption, continually turning a blind eye on DV evidence, even with sex offenders. Abuser’s are often granted custody because of the network of corruption between lawyers and judges. Children are pawns and are being abused not only by the abuser, but by the system.

    His “BlogTalk” show is really good. In one of his talk shows, he makes a point of stating that it’s really men who need to speak to men about domestic violence. Thank God Pastor Jon is willing to take the opportunity and share. I pray this will be the first of many steps to change the destructive pattern.

    The show yesterday w/ Jeff on was excellent! It is so freeing to hear Christian men take such a strong position for survivors and TALK about it out loud for many to hear.

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