Being married to a sex addict is something that must be devastating. I know that quite a number of our readers have had this as part of their experience. One of these readers recommended to me the work of Barbara Steffens (Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal [Affiliate link]) who counsels partners of sexually addicted spouses. I found this book on her website and the reviews looked so impressive, I’m giving you the link. I’ll also put it on our Resources page.
Update October 14, 2020: The information in the following paragraphs has been updated, as the original website links were broken and the original website is no longer functioning. As best as we can determine, the following information replaces the original information:
Book reviews for Your Sexually Addicted Spouse [Internet Archive link], by Barbara Steffens and Marsha Means. (The book reviews start part way down the page.)
Barbara Steffens’ home page connects indirectly to this [Internet Archive link] resources list. This resources list might be the original resources list, which, to quote the text in the original ACFJ post, “looks impressive”.
Reblogged this on Speakingtruthinlove's Blog [Internet Archive link].
I’ve read this book and it’s quite eye opening and right on target, in my humble opinion.
JMHO…..sex addiction and abuse are different, but I believe there are many more women who are being abused who are in relationships with a person who is called a ‘sex addict’. What I’m seeing is that the ‘addiction’ is more of a symptom of the abuse, which contributes to the breakdown of the relationship. Abuse is sin, and we aren’t called to endure sinful abuse, no matter what you call it.
I shared before that some sex addict therapists call emotional and verbal abuse ‘intimacy anorexia’. I used to buy into that, which enabled the cycle. This terminology completely minimizes what abuse is. Barbara, you made a great statement calling this new ‘psychobabble terminology’ or something quite appropriate like that! Thank you!
This book puts out those fires too, and calls trauma, trauma.