Books by Topic: Understanding Domestic Abuse

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Behind the Hedge

by Waneta Dawn. A novel about domestic abuse, where the abuser scarcely shows any physical violence.

The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships

by Patrick Carnes. The author presents an in-depth study of relationships that create trauma bonds, why they form, who is most susceptible, and how they become so powerful. He shows how to recognize when traumatic bonding has occurred and gives a checklist for examining relationships. He then provides steps to safely extricate from these relationships. You can read a review of this book by one of our readers here.

BIFF: Quick Responses to High Conflict People, Their Hostile Emails, Personal Attacks and Social Media Meltdowns.

by Bill Eddy. Written by president and co-founder of High Conflict Institute, Eddy created the BIFF response to protect you and your reputation by responding quickly and civilly to people who treat you rudely — while being reasonable in return. BIFF stands for Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm. This little book gives over 20 examples of BIFF responses for all areas of life — plus additional tips to help you deal with high-conflict people anywhere.

Black and White Bible, Black and Blue Wife: My Story of Finding Hope after Domestic Abuse

by Ruth A Tucker. Ruth recounts a harrowing story of abuse at the hands of her husband, a well-educated charming preacher no less, in hope that her story would help other women caught in a cycle of domestic violence and offer a balanced biblical approach to counter such abuse for pastors and counselors.

Broken and Battered

by Muriel Canfield. The author tells the stories of two Christian survivors, one of whom was married to a pastor, the other to an extreme narcissist.

But He Never Hit Me: The Devastating Cost of Non-Physical Abuse to Girls and Women

by Dr. Jill Murray. This has been recommended by one of our readers. You can read her comment about the book here.

Child to Parent Violence and Abuse

by Declan Coogan. Published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers. Addressing the under-reported issue of child-to-parent violence and abuse, this book presents the effective intervention method of non-violent resistance. Tips for adapting the method, alongside case studies make this an invaluable tool for practitioners working with affected families.

While we have not read this book, it comes from a secular publisher that has a good reputation in the DV sector. It is the same publisher that published the book about Intimate Partner Sexual Violence in which Barbara Roberts contributed a chapter.

Dangerous Exits: Escaping Abusive Relationships in Rural America

by Walter S. DeKeseredy and Martin D. Schwartz. Looks at the physical, mental and sexual violence rural women may face when exiting dangerous relationships, after they have left them, or even post-divorce. People are very fond of leveling judgments at women who don’t “just leave” but this book is a timely reminder of the terrorism that serves to frighten women into remaining — and their fear of what may happen if they leave is, as this book shows, not groundless. DeKeseredy and Schwartz explore the danger of sexual assault when a woman “emotionally” separates from a partner — i.e. she does not have to even announce she is leaving; the man just senses she is growing distant and rapes her in order to reassert control and ownership.

Dead by Sunset 

by Ann Rule. A “true-crime” story about real-life abuse by a psychopathic man named Bradly Morris Cunningham who murdered his wife. Free of any restraints of conscience, Cunningham devastated the lives of intelligent, talented women and just about everyone else around him. His ability to deceive and manipulate was incredible.

Fool-Proofing Your Life: How to Deal Effectively with the Impossible People in Your Life

by Jan Silvious. Building upon the Book of Proverbs in the Bible, Silvious teaches us that abusers (fools) are not your normal brand of sinner and cannot be handled with typical methods we might use for dealing with other people. Caveat: This author says abuse is not grounds for divorce. We disagree with that, but find other useful things in the book.

How He Gets Into Her Head: The Mind of the Male Intimate Abuser.

by Don Hennessy. This book uncovers the layers of covert tactics which men employ to establish and maintain control over their intimate partner. By deepening our understand of what is going on the author suggests that we can develop a more efficient and consistent response to the issue.

How He Wins: Abusive Intimate Partners Going Free

by Don Hennessy. Excerpt from the back of the book: In this challenging book, Don Hennessy offers advice to women experiencing coercive control, and presents powerful first hand testimony from a number of these women. He pays particular attention to the impact of domestic violence on the target-woman’s wider family. He examines our practices and procedures, our attitudes and beliefs in relation to those he terms “psychefiles”, and argues that we have made few inroads in this area – either into the prevalence of male intimate abuse or in relation to the tactics that support the ability of the abuser to establish and maintain his control.

In Love and Danger: A Teen’s Guide to Breaking Free of Abusive Relationships

by Barrie Levy. Recommended by Lundy Bancroft.

Love Isn’t Supposed To Hurt

by Christi Paul. Here is what one of our readers has said about this book: “When I started to realize that my marriage was abusive this was really helpful because she is a Christian woman and she describes the abuse she suffered at the hands of her first husband who was also an alcoholic. Just one caution though, I found myself saying things like, “well he doesn’t do that so maybe it’s not so bad for me”, etc., but she talks about how she left and what she did to leave and also spends a fair amount of time talking about some therapy that she went through to help heal herself of the verbal abuse she had suffered. I just remember her saying in there, “I wasn’t created to be abused. No one is.” So many lightbulb moments!”

Olympia Gospel Mission Bible Studies on Domestic Abuse

This is a PDF created by Olympia Union Gospel Mission. This workbook includes ten biblical studies which focus on understanding the basic dynamics of domestic violence relationships, including verbal abuse.

Physical Abusers and Sexual Offenders: Forensic and Clinical Strategies

by Scott A. Johnson. The first resource of its kind, this book addresses the similarities between these overlapping fields. The book’s detailed structure includes information on the psychological, emotional, physical, and sexual facets of the abuse cycle from name-calling, to complete psychological deconstruction, rape, and homicide.

Steps to Freedom: Escaping Intimate Control

by Don Hennessy. From this post: “Controlling behaviour, particularly of men towards women, is far more common in all walks of life than we have been led to believe. In this easy-to-read guide, best-selling author Don Hennessy offers practical advice to all those dealing with violent or controlling behaviour in their own lives, based on his experience of dealing with hundreds of such people in a therapeutic setting. Most important, he explains to the reader how they can throw off the shackles and live lives free from fear and intimidation.”

This Little Light: Beyond a Baptist Preacher Predator and His Gang Paperback

by Christa Brown. From the back of the book: One of TIME’s Top 10 underreported news stories of 2008, the Southern Baptist Convention’s unwillingness to protect its children deserves scrutiny. In sharing her painful history, Christa Brown shines a light on the patterns of Baptist clergy sex abuse and the collusion of Baptist leadership.

The Baptist “good ol’ boys” network is exposed as a web of power and manipulation, centralizing nearly everything except responsibility for informing congregations about predator pastors who commit unspeakable crimes and church-hop with ease.

God, Scripture and faith become the pedophiles’ weapons for gaining victims’ submission. God, Scripture, faith, hush-money, and intimidation tactics then become the church leaders weapons for silencing victims.

A must-read for anyone concerned with the safety of children and the abuse of power in evangelical churches.

Too late to Say Goodbye

by Ann Rule. This “true-crime” story is about Bart Corbin, the “handsome twin” responsible for a double homicide that spanned 14 years.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond

by Patricia Evans. An excellent introduction to the dynamics and different types of verbal abuse. Includes a questionnaire tool to help readers evaluate their own relationships.

What Parents Need to Know About Dating Violence: Advice and Support for Helping Your Teen

by Barrie Levy and Patricia Occhiuzzo Giggam. Recommended by Lundy Bancroft.

When Love Hurts: A Woman’s Guide to Understanding Abuse in Relationships

Karen McAndless-Davis & Jill Cory. Karen is a Christian but the site is written for non-Christians as it aims to be of assistance to all women. Lundy Bancroft and Jackson Katz endorse the book.

More information about the book can be found at this website.

Would the Real Church PLEASE Stand Up?

by Susan Greenfield. Survivor account of fleeing from her abusive pastor husband.

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