A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

Is it wrong to feel anger and hatred for my abuser?


  1. Auriel

    I have thought about this question before this post and again as I read it. The most intense pain I have experienced was psychological abuse by both my husband and sister. The two people I told everything to.

    Being the victim of smear campaigns, to discredit me in case I told on them was excruciating. God tested me to my limit.

    I don’t actively hate them now. I may have at some points, but now it feels like death. My emotions towards them are dead. I know what it feels like when love has died. It makes me sad, but there is no love between us and so the relationship feels pointless. The term “sister” has no meaning to me. Death of love is [a] complete futility in [an] ongoing relationship. I wonder if they miss my love, or was it irrelevant to them?

    [Paragraph breaks added to enhance readability. Editors.]

    • Reaching Out

      Hi Auriel,

      You might be interested in our post The Difficulty and Necessity of Accepting the Unlove. While the post specifically references a husband, I have personally found the same concept has a wider application. There was pain in understanding the abusers I loved did not love me.

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