Is it wrong to feel anger and hatred for my abuser?
UPDATE Sept 2021: I, Barbara Roberts, have come to believe that Jeff Crippen does not practise what he preaches. He vilely persecuted an abuse victim and spiritually abused many other people in the Tillamook congregation. Go here to read the evidence. Jeff has not gone to the people that he spiritually and emotionally abused. He has not apologised to them, let alone asked for their forgiveness.
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Anger, hatred, vengeance — am I feeling them? are my feelings wrong?
If you are a Christian, then you practice hatred. Really!
Compassion requires anger — If you aren’t angry then you aren’t compassionate
Bitterness or righteous anger — how to tell the difference
Abuse and anger: is it a sin to be angry toward our abuser?
A model prayer for victims of abuse — Psalm 109
According to many pastors, the saints in heaven are sinning
Lord, do not forgive them, for they know exactly what they are doing
To pray for our abusers… or not? We don’t need to pray for the sin that leads to death
Love believes all things (Don’t worry, this post does not say what you might think it says.)
Putting off and putting on — change as it respectively applies to abusers and victims
I have thought about this question before this post and again as I read it. The most intense pain I have experienced was psychological abuse by both my husband and sister. The two people I told everything to.
Being the victim of smear campaigns, to discredit me in case I told on them was excruciating. God tested me to my limit.
I don’t actively hate them now. I may have at some points, but now it feels like death. My emotions towards them are dead. I know what it feels like when love has died. It makes me sad, but there is no love between us and so the relationship feels pointless. The term “sister” has no meaning to me. Death of love is [a] complete futility in [an] ongoing relationship. I wonder if they miss my love, or was it irrelevant to them?
[Paragraph breaks added to enhance readability. Editors.]
Hi Auriel,
You might be interested in our post The Difficulty and Necessity of Accepting the Unlove. While the post specifically references a husband, I have personally found the same concept has a wider application. There was pain in understanding the abusers I loved did not love me.