My name is … and I have been abusive to my family. (revised and updated)

My name is … and I have been abusive to my family

I have done a major re-write of this post — click the above link to read it. I tried to find an image or meme that would illustrate the title of this post, but I couldn’t find one. The internet is full of images and memes created for and by victims (and by those who claim to be supporting victims). But there seem to be no images or memes of men saying “I am an abuser.” That’s no surprise. I’m so jaded by the lack of genuineness in the field of domestic abuse and advocacy, that I can only find black humour in this.

I have also been updating the FAQ pages. This has entailed me revising some of the posts that are linked to in the FAQ pages. I’m working through the FAQs in order. As of today, I’ve updated these FAQs:

WHAT IS ABUSE? How can I identify an abuser? Am I the abuser, or am I being abused by my partner?

AS A PASTOR, what are the most important things for me to know about domestic abuse?

ANGER and HATRED: Is it wrong to feel for anger and hatred for my abuser?

BIBLE TRANSLATION: How has Bible translation affected the church’s response to abuse?

CAN AN ABUSER BE A CHRISTIAN?

CHILDREN: For my children’s sake, is it better to leave my abuser?

CHILDREN: How can I help my children heal from abuse?

CHURCH: How can I find a church that is safe and supportive?

CHURCH COVENANTS: Sign a church covenant document to join a church?

CHURCH DISCIPLINE: How does it apply in cases of domestic abuse?

CODEPENDENCY: Are victims of domestic abuse co-dependent?

COUNSELLING: How do I find a good counselor?

COUPLE COUNSELLING?

DIVORCE?

FINANCIAL ABUSE: What is it? How can I deal with it?

FORGIVENESS?

FRIEND or RELATIVE: How can I help a friend or relative who has been abused?

GOSSIP: If I tell people about my spouse’s abusive behaviour, am I gossiping?

GOSPEL WITNESS: How can I leave when I’m the only one who is giving my abuser a gospel witness?

HELPING OTHERS: How can I help other victims?

I’M AN ABUSER: Can you help me?

Go here to view all the FAQs.