Thursday Thought — Dealing with an Abusive Person
UPDATE Sept 2021: I have come to believe that Jeff Crippen does not practise what he preaches. He vilely persecuted an abuse victim and spiritually abused many other people in the Tillamook congregation. Go here to read the evidence. Jeff has not gone to the people that he spiritually and emotionally abused. He has not apologised to them, let alone asked for their forgiveness.
When we are dealing with an abusive person, the solution is not to just “sit down and talk, work things out, communicate and understand one another better” NO! Because. . . the abusive man or woman has no intent at all to work things out. He or she knows nothing of compromising, of empathizing, of kindness. He only knows power and control and entitlement. Therefore, any such meeting with an abuser will only result in giving the abusive man another opportunity to abuse his victim.
This is a vital lesson to learn then in respect to dealing with an abusive person. Such a person, like Sanballat (Nehemiah 6:1-13), has only one purpose — to destroy, to discourage, to instill fear, to mock and rob his victim of any sense of self-worth and confidence. Sanballat wants to control, to own, to exercise power, to be as God to his victims. Therefore, it is not wise to enter into mediation with an abuser. It is not wise to enter into couples’ counseling with an abuser. Communication problems are NOT the problem. The abusive person’s mentality is the problem, and it is his problem alone.
[Pastor Crippen, “Dealing With the Abuser“, Sermon delivered October 24, 2010.]