A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

Thursday Thought — True Repentance

…correcting his opponents with gentleness,
God may perhaps grant them repentance
leading to a knowledge of the truth,  [2 Timothy 2:25]

“True repentance is very rare.  In fact, it is a gift from God (2 Timothy 2:25).  In dealing with abusers, it is very important that we understand what repentance looks like and what it does not look like.  Repentance does not use the language of blame or qualification.  It does not insist upon conditions.  Abusers who tell their victim that they are sorry and that they are changing and if only the victim could do _____, then they could do better, are not repentant.  There is no room for excuses in true repentance.”  [from A Cry For Justice, by Ps. Crippenp193]

 

 

4 Comments

  1. healingInHim

    TRUE REPENTANCE IS VERY RARE … something for all of us to ponder. Thank you for this post.

  2. cindy burrell

    Amen. Very well-stated.

  3. Seeing Clearly

    Thank you for your gentle, firm reminder. It helps to keep us grounded, and moving forward. You speak truth.

  4. Finding Answers

    (Airbrushing through the fog…)

    From the original post: “True repentance is very rare. In fact, it is a gift from God (2 Timothy 2:25). In dealing with abusers, it is very important that we understand what repentance looks like and what it does not look like.

    Apologies from my “dad” were always in the form of some kind of “gift”. Even while a child, I recognized the “buying forgiveness” pattern.

    I just did not know what it meant.

    I thought it meant he wasn’t able to express an apology.

    His “background”, you know. “Men don’t show emotion.”

    (“Funny”. He sure knew how to express anger.)

    Apologies from my anti-x were the simple word, “Sorry.” No emotion. No sincerity. Tossed out “off the cuff”.

    Finally, I said, “Stop. If you’re going to keep ____________, don’t bother apologizing.”

    He stopped.

    Apologizing. Not the behaviour.

    (Now he didn’t even have to “acknowledge” the behaviour.)

    He was now like my “dad”. Except there was no “gift”.

    They had “trained” me to forgive sinful behaviour. No acknowledgement. No repentance.

    I did not know how to apologize. No one taught me the words.

    But then, I was invisible. I had no voice.

    Yet when the circumstances arose, I found the words.

    When someone genuinely expressed hurt, I apologized and changed my behaviour.

    (Now I know to call it repentance.)

    Now I know something else…

    I was able to apologize and repent if someone was not an abuser.

Leave a comment. It's ok to use a made up name (e.g Anon37). For safety tips read 'New Users Info' (top menu). Tick the box if you want to be notified of new comments.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: