A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

None Who Wait for the Lord’s Justice Will be Put to Shame: Psalm 25

Notice the phrase “wait for you” in this Psalm.  No one likes to “wait.” Waiting in line. Waiting for the “turkey done” popper thingy to pop. Waiting in the waiting room. Waiting for the Lord is hard too. And yet, in Scripture to “wait for the Lord” seems to be synonymous with faith. We wait for the Lord with believing expectation because He has promised, and we know He will fulfill those promises. We wait for His salvation. We wait for Him to vindicate us. We wait for Him to deal in justice with the wicked who oppress us. There are things we could do to take our own vengeance, but instead we leave vengeance to Him. We wait for Him. In this waiting, we put our trust in Him and we believe that we will not be shown to be fools for doing so.  We will not be put to shame. One Day, we will see the Lord’s justice on our enemies, and they will see it too.  On that Day their mocking will cease forever.

Psalms 25:1-22 Of David.
To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul.  O my God, in you I trust; let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exult over me. Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame; they shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous. Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.

Remember your mercy, O LORD, and your steadfast love, for they have been from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love remember me, for the sake of your goodness, O LORD! Good and upright is the LORD; therefore he instructs sinners in the way. He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way.  All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies. For your name’s sake, O LORD, pardon my guilt, for it is great.

Who is the man who fears the LORD? Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose. His soul shall abide in well-being, and his offspring shall inherit the land. The friendship of the LORD is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant. My eyes are ever toward the LORD, for he will pluck my feet out of the net. Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins. Consider how many are my foes, and with what violent hatred they hate me. Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me! Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. May integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for you. Redeem Israel, O God, out of all his troubles.

26 Comments

  1. Pastor Jeff, thank you for these hopeful verses. I was struggling this morning with some hurts that came from remembering how those with whom I’ve eaten bread and thought would be here for me in my time of need, vanished. The renewed hope came after reading this post because it reminded me that God has raised up others to be here for me. Though the “wait” can be tiring, yet, like David experienced, when we look to the Lord who will care for us in due time, He will renew our strength to wait! He IS our ever present help in trouble (Ps 46:1). I’m thankful for ACFJ and the networking involved in this ministry that reminds people like me that we are not alone in the wait.

    • Jeff Crippen

      BrightSun- You are welcome. Those memories are hurtful, aren’t they? People who have claimed to be our fellow soldiers turn on us when the battle gets thick. That’s not easy to swallow. In battle we find out who our real allies are. In fact many times in the fight we find out who are really our fellow Christians and who are not. Often I wish we could get all of our readers who have been victimized by this evil and who have been mistreated by their churches together in one place, into one mighty church! That would be something. But in reality, the Lord has brought us all together, and just as He scattered the early church into the uttermost parts of the earth, so he uses our presence in many different places to help others suffering the same things we have. We couldn’t do that if we were all in one place. Someday however we will be.

      • Anonymous

        BrightSunshinin’Day – Your words have revealed my heart, too. Thank you Jeff C. for expositing God’s Word. Quite often we read the Scriptures over and over and perhaps don’t stop long enough to believe the promises Or at least our actions don’t convey that … it’s always comforting to have true believers encouraging us with just the right Scripture for just the right moment in time!

  2. Carmen S.

    “If I could hear Christ praying for me in the next room, I would not fear a million enemies. Yet distance makes no difference. He is praying for me.”

    Robert Murray McCheyne

  3. BeginHealing

    Ok the way God uses this blog in my life is getting a little spooky 😉

    Seriously, I went to my new church today and I saw that they were teaching about conflicts from Matthew. I thought to myself… be patient and open hearted. I prayed that God show me what he needs and wants from me in this. At the end of the teaching the pastor called for those that are in conflict to please stand….. well….. I am most certainly in conflict but I felt glued to my seat. I thought I should stand if anyone here knew what I was dealing with they would expect me to stand, but I was glued to my seat. I heard the word wait in my head. The pastor prayed that this week those standing take the steps to seek to reconcile their conflicts….again I heard the word wait. Full of self doubt I wonder, “Is that my flesh or the spirit asking me to wait. Am I being prideful and stubborn……”

    Then I come home and read this….

    God is so very good. I would have wrestled with self doubt for days over this but this post gave me the affirmation I needed. It is God that wants me to wait. So, I will.

    • Jeff Crippen

      Begin- That was the glue of the Spirit keeping you seated. I maintain that such tactics from the pulpit are manipulative and unethical. There is nothing magical about standing up. The situation you were in was a bait and switch. Once the people were standing,then they got hit with the interpretation of their standing – ie, that now they are obligated to reconcile. How arrogant.! There is no way the pastor knows all the details of every conflict represented in that congregation. Thus there is no way he can demand that everyone reconcile with the person they are in conflict with. The Holy Spirit provides us with a bit of sanctified rebellion in those moments. “Nope, I’m not going forward. Nope I’m not going to stand up. Nope, I won’t raise my hand.” Good for you.

      • BeginHealing

        Thank you so much Pastor Crippen.

      • sanctified rebellion
        That is going to be one of my oft-used phrases from now on. Thanks Jeff!

  4. Jenna

    My emotionally and sexually abusive soon to be ex husband has not paid any price for the pain and torment he put me through. I recently filed for divorce after a nine month separation. He has escalated his nastiness. He pretty much left me for dead. I have major back problems, he stole all our money by forging checks, ignores me, took up with a sleezy woman that cheated on his best friend when married to his best friend. I surely hope God will protect me from anymore pain from him. I need his shelter and protection. And his vengeance.

    • Jeff Crippen

      “Lord, please hear Jenna’s prayer to you for protection, for your provision for her, and for your vengeance upon the wicked. Show yourself mighty in a way that is obvious to everyone that you have done it.”

    • Still Scared( but getting angry)

      Lord I echo that prayer. Come in Your power. Be the shelter and soft refuge that Jenna needs and the descending army that rains vengeance on her ex. May You be glorified in bringing justice to Jenna.

    • Yes. I agree with Jeff and SS. Please, Lord, grant us all the justice and deliverance we need from You.

  5. Annie

    As I read the post, some thoughts came to me: God does not work within the confines of time. When He does something, the timing is perfect. Waiting is simply our human response to the absolute great perfection of God’s intervention in our affairs, when we entrust all to Him. A second thought is that God is love, and love is patient. Being patient is simply being like God, trusting while waiting for Him to be show Himself to be the Almighty God. Lastly, life itself is temporary so our waiting does come to an end, no matter how long it may seem. It’s probably small comfort to those who are suffering, so even as we wait, my prayer will be like David’s, “Hurry up, will ya??” (Psalm 22:19, paraphrased)

  6. Bravo, Begin, for not standing up! Sadly, many pastors have lost their “first love” and have become “mind and emotion manipulators” who are really quite good at their skill. The sheep are prone to wander right into their traps, but you did not! .You were “glued” and in tune with the Holy Spirit!

    • BeginHealing

      Wow. Thank you so much Bright. 🙂

  7. Heather2

    I know that He will one day fulfill His promise and judge rightly. Truthfully, I do not wish to see it. To be judged by the living God should create terror in His enemies. And just as I would not wish to see the sentence of the death penalty rightly used, to know that someone I once loved will be spending eternity in Hell hurts me. I wish it weren’t so. Is it righteous? Absolutely! Is it deserved? Yes, if they are unsaved. And I leave that with my Father. At the present time all I wish for is complete healing with the memories washed away.

    • Jeff Crippen

      Heather2 – Good stuff. Thankyou. Yes, the memories will be washed away.

      Rev 21:1-4 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. (2) And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. (3) And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. (4) He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

      • Heather2

        Definitely a promise worth anticipating, Jeff. Impatience gets in the way sometimes.

        Thank you.

  8. IamMyBeloved's

    Thanks for sharing this. It makes a huge difference to know that I am waiting on Him to fulfill His promises to me, instead of thinking I am waiting on Him to bring the hammer down and accuse me, like my abusers have done. It’s been a long time turning this one around for me and I need the reminding – especially while still surfing the high waves.

  9. Anonymous

    Forcing us to wait or putting us in situations where we have no choice but to wait, can be tactics used by abusers

    All of my life I’ve waiting. Waiting to grow up so that I could legally escape from my family. Waiting to have a good job so that I could support myself. Waiting till we had enough money (once I got married) because I had been trained to let the husband make all financial decisions (but I was the one responsible for figuring out how to pay the bills after he made these decisions). Waiting until the kids were older so that I could go back to school. Waiting to graduate from college so that I could have the chance to make a decent wage etc., etc..

    Waiting to be loved.

    My dad kept us poor and destitute, and being the kind of person that I am, I never wanted to burden him, so as soon as I was able to (when I was old enough to babysit and do a paper route), I paid for most of the things I needed myself. (My husband used the same tried and true tactic of keeping the wife “barefoot and pregnant” that my dad had used.) I was very cost-conscience even as a young girl and knew how to be careful and shop thriftily. I knew that I couldn’t afford to live on my own and knew that living hand to mouth for years was not really living. So I joined the military and finally had a chance to escape as well as earn a steady paycheck. But this was decades ago and the pay and the educational benefits weren’t what they are now. (Plus I had been brain-washed to believe that my sole purpose for living was to get married and have lots of children.) When I married my husband, “we” had agreed to wait to have children until I’d completed my education. He deliberately by-passed our birth control method and got me pregnant immediately after we got together. (This realization wasn’t revealed to me until decades later.) There was very little childcare available to us at the time and I didn’t want my children to be abused, so I got out of the military. This was when the REAL waiting began.

    My husband now had complete control of me and reminded me often how worthless I was and that without an education, my best hope was to not waste money on college but to stay home so that I didn’t even waste money on gas for the car. By the way, before I left active duty, I paid off all of our debt including the car I owned before I met him. He immediately bought a house we couldn’t afford but because we had such an awesome credit score, we got approved for a loan. (This would be the pattern throughout our marriage–him plunging us into debt and then me figuring out how to get us out of it while simultaneously making sure the children and husband didn’t feel the fear of being destitute that I had grown up with while still providing them with good things and activities).

    When we had the number of children we had “both” decided on having, and when the youngest was potty-trained and I was finally able to start back to college, my husband once again by-passed our birth control method and got me pregnant yet AGAIN. (This time I insisted on a permanent form of birth control which I now know is the only reason we did not have any more children.)

    We went overseas and before we moved we sold our home (thank GOD) so we were supposedly going to have a little more money to spend. My husband insisted on a vacation before we left and insisted that we drive across country to visit all our relatives. If you haven’t guessed yet, he spent too much money because he was basing the amount of money we could spend on this “vacation” on his future earnings. So when we got settled in overseas and all the dust settled on all the expenses we had incurred–we were farther in debt than ever before.

    My life for the next decade (plus a few extra years) consisted of me looking for free things for the kids to do while trying to learn from all “my” mistakes so that we wouldn’t once again be in this situation. (I thought it was my fault.) Years went by with me waking up in the middle of the night terrified about the bills, guilt over being so unhappy with my life (I used to believe that my husband was the most thoughtful, caring husband I had ever met), and thinking that I was a worthless pile of garbage and was lucky that my husband loved me and hadn’t abandoned me because of my depression.

    Back in the states, with the older kids nearly grown and all our debt paid off (but one of our children institutionalized for psychopathy), I thought that I could FINALLY go back to college and get my degree. Those of you who’ve taken the time to read this long post–can you guess what happened next? My husband INSISTED on buying a house and then the weekend after we moved in–he bought a new car.

    By the way, I had always been extremely verbal about all my thoughts and feelings so my husband and children knew that I felt guilt and shame over not being what I considered (at the time) to be the perfect mother and about all of our debt. So when we talked about how we came to be in debt and what “we” had learned from it, my husband acted and stated that he had learned this too. I thought we had both learned some wisdom from all these horrific years of waiting to pay off debt and living with nothing, clipping coupons etc. Oh how WRONG I was! What my husband and children HAD learned was that I would give up everything in order to keep them sustained, including my health, relationship with the Lord and, of course, my education.

    There was a difference this time. This time I was ADAMENT that we wait to buy a home or car and told him over and over that we didn’t even know what the outcome for our son would be and we didn’t even know how much we would get paid because while we were overseas we had made additional money to cover the higher cost of living. (I could list dozens of excuses he came up with to counter my logic but this is already too long.)

    This time I also refused to be included in choosing the house or car because I was so stressed out about our child. (In the past my husband had insisted that we had BOTH wanted the house and cars we had bought and that HE was just mostly going along with what I had wanted.) This time God made sure that I would know that I had not wanted any of these things and that it was all my husbands choice. God then proceeded to deconstruct all the things I had previously believed to be true about Himself, my family, and humanity. (I have posted on this website many of the trials I’ve been through in addition to what I’ve written here.)

    When once again the dust settled and I was left to figure out how to pay all the bills we now had–this time I KNEW it was all my husbands fault. And this was the beginning of another decade of wisdom that would permanently end any misconceptions about evil posing as good and good being accused of being evil.

    So yes, I do agree that waiting on the Lord is actually good and right, but when children who belong to their father the devil tell us to wait or force us into situations like I’ve described above that force us to wait–it is evil and destructive to us. I’m SO very TIRED!

    • Hi Anonymous can you please email TWBTC? We want to check with you whether it’s safe to publish the other comment you sent in — the one where you talked a lot about your psychopathic son.
      twbtc.acfj@gmail.com

    • healinginhim

      Anonymous – I can relate to your story and I grieve for your years of waiting. “… having no choice to but to wait …” and the reference to ‘waiting all my life’ especially waiting for love were trigger words for me.
      As I reflect and have to acknowledge that abuse started long before the man I married and that now the same people continue to add to the burden by ways of lies and deceit …

      I agree with,

      … but when children who belong to their father the devil tell us to wait or force us into situations like I’ve described above that force us to wait–it is evil and destructive to us. I’m SO very TIRED!

      Praying for you and others. That God would strengthen us as we are very tired.

      • Anonymous

        Thank you Healinginhim for you kind response. I have read many of your comments and can totally relate to what you have gone through and where you are at currently. I am also still married to my husband and don’t know when or if I will ever be able to leave. That being said, God actually uses my husband to take care of me in ways that I wouldn’t have been aware of prior to all this wisdom being forced on me. We don’t have a physical relationship so I don’t have the burden of that but I am very cognizant that my husband takes care of me because GOD is the one behind it all.

        It is so sad, isn’t it? That we loved these men, desired to share our hearts and lives with them, only to discover that this is not possible because they aren’t people who are able to “share” anything. I pray that others will not end up like me and if what I write here helps even one person to run from a life like this–I feel blessed by God!

    • standsfortruth

      Thank you Anonymous,
      I can certainly relate to the game of the abuser adding more burden to the wifes already stressed lifestyle.
      You articulated well how the abuser continues to sabbatoge any healing slack that the honorable spouse tries to creates to help the family.

      The sick game of always throwing more on the wifes plate, to busy her to keep trying to balance it all, knowing and even eagerly anticipating that she will eventually break down.
      (I actually used to hum the circus music tune to myself while I tried to juggle it all because that type of life was the norm for me for so long)
      I knew if I broke down in any visual way, he was also waiting to use it against me, so I learned to never allowed myself to break down in front of him.
      It was an exhausting game to try to keep up with, but like you I eventually began resisting and speaking against the bad choices.

      He had a sick desire to continually prove to himself and others that he is in control of people and their destiny.
      Like yours, my abuser knew by controlling the decisions in the home, he was ultimately controlling how my time was to be spent in trying to manage the aftermath of it all..

      I finally realized I was in a never ending spin cycle that would never stop if I did not try to strategize a plan to extricate myself from the situtation.
      Which I am now out of that spin cycle.
      It is not always easy but I did discover many positives being out.

      On the bright side of things, once a woman who has been through this type of treatment so long, finally devises the means to get out, she will find that she has amazing perception, strength, resilience and self control, which puts her at an advantage in the world, and work force.
      She will also find that she has the capacity to accomplish far more than she ever realized, possibly because she presevered so long under harsh circumstances, and because God is with her.
      *similar to a baseball batter practicing his swing with many bats, insted of one.
      I am praying for God to give you continued strength.

  10. healinginhim

    Anonymous – In my situation, to others ‘he’ looks good as he keeps a neat yard and yet the neighbours and community are aware that he no longer wants to be my husband?! Why do they condone this? Is he really taking care of me by sexually using me for years and then when he no longer needs me for emotional or sexual support, well, I am to just keep my mouth shut, leave ‘him’ alone or move out??

    Yes, I have a roof over my head but emotionally it hurts that others condone him now travelling without me for extended visits with the adult children and his siblings. I receive a token 3 or 4 hour visit maybe once or twice a year from the children and even then I don’t feel welcome or that they really want to come a see me while they are in this neck of the woods. 😦 He was the one that for years said that retirement would bring years of us always traveling together. What he finds convenient, now is that when he is gone I am here to take care of the place; he used to worry about the house and yard years ago when we still traveled outside of the community, together.

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