A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

God Gives Vengeance to the Afflicted and Rescues us from Men of Violence

Psa 18:46-50 The LORD lives, and blessed be my rock, and exalted be the God of my salvation– (47) the God who gave me vengeance and subdued peoples under me, (48) who delivered me from my enemies; yes, you exalted me above those who rose against me; you rescued me from the man of violence. (49) For this I will praise you, O LORD, among the nations, and sing to your name. (50) Great salvation he brings to his king, and shows steadfast love to his anointed, to David and his offspring forever.

I am sure that you have days – perhaps many of them – when you just feel like quitting. Your thoughts run something like this:

  • My abuser seems to win every time
  • People believe him, not me
  • He has treated me with violence, yet he prospers and I have nothing
  • Maybe everything really is my fault, just like so many people are saying

I can’t read your mind, but I know how this kind of thinking goes because I have those very same thoughts many times too. King David had those days too, if you will read more of the Psalms you will see it to have been the case. And yet here in Psalm 18 David shares a great victory with us. God had given him vengeance. He rescued him from the man of violence. But the Lord does not only do this for people like David.  Notice that last line –

Great salvation he brings to his king, and shows steadfast love to his anointed, to David and his offspring forever.

And to his offspring. Offspring is “seed.” Who is the seed of David? The Lord Jesus Christ! And all who are in Christ by faith are also David’s offspring. You see it in Romans 4 where Paul shows us that Abraham was the father of all who are of faith, David being one of them. We are Abraham’s seed. We are, you might say, David’s seed as well.  And that means that we are heirs of all the promises God made to them.

The point is this: don’t despair. Don’t give up. Fix your eyes on Jesus and believe His promises. Because I can tell you this by the sure authority of God’s own Word: the day is coming when God will give you vengeance and when he will deliver you from the violent man. He will do it. I don’t know when. I don’t know how. But he is going to do it because if you are in Christ, God has set His love on you just as surely as he set it on King David.

He is coming. He is coming. Your day is coming.

18 Comments

  1. His beloved

    Thank you Jeff.
    My X remarried on Jan 1 only a year after the divorce. My former friends, now his allies, still see no problems.
    I have been crying out to the Lord “How long O Lord will the wicked prosper?” He married a rich woman yet I am still unemployed and paying for almost all my son’s expenses. My heart grieves for her and the shredding of her heart she is now going through.
    I’ve been reading Bohhoffer, wishing there were people who would stand up against evil directly and specifically for all of us women- confronting the allies, exposing the abusers.
    I have asked all those questions you listed. I long to be vindicated.
    Yet in His presence I do have peace, knowing I am faithful to the Lord and even grateful for trials that conform me to His image……………………
    But I still would like to know WHEN that day is coming! And if it will be on the Great day, or here in this world.
    Thanks for your understanding and encouragement.

  2. Anonymous

    Thank you for these comforting words. Very much appreciated. 🙂

  3. This is in the running for my favorite blog post.

  4. of all time…

  5. BeginHealing

    The way God uses this blog to minister is breathtaking and humbling.

    I heard a similar message in church as well. A new church for me I might add. I have been feeling uncomfortable and overexposed (because of my husband talking and building allies) at my other church. So, today I woke up convicted to try a different church. I just need/want to worship in peace with a little more personal privacy. I love what happens when I follow that leading and keep my eyes fixed on Him.

    What I heard today at this new church…….. Be still this battle is not yours it is Mine. He is removing me from the battle that was managing my husband’s emotions and my marriage. He is taking over. Then I see this post.

    BTW has anyone here heard of the group Divorce Care? This new church offers this support group. Does anyone have any thoughts or experiences with this group?

    • BeginHealing

      It was Exodus 14:14 that spoke to me in service today.

      “The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”

      I was paraphrasing rather poorly so looked it up 🙂

    • His beloved

      I went through Divorce Care. I was fortunate that the leader of my small discussion group had divorced a borderline husband and was very supportive and understanding of crazy-making abuse.

      The material didn’t cover abuse but I have heard that they have updated it- I am not sure of that. If I were to do it I would check with leaders to see their attitude about abuse and if they would believe me. I won’t go where I am not believed anymore!

      I felt no pressure to reconcile from the material and at the time I was glad to be with others who had been through the devastation of abuse. The teaching about the fact that we are really experiencing the tearing and ripping of one flesh, and that it is profoundly painful, really helped me.

      I didn’t find it very deep spiritually, or informative about abuse like ACFJ, but it was helpful for the soul pain of divorce.

      The great irony is that after the group ended, the supportive leader and I were pursuing becoming friends and when she found out who my X is and that he (at that time) was in church with her sister she cut me off. I can only imagine the lies he told her…..

      • BeginHealing

        Thank you for your feedback HB. I appreciate your feedback. I am happy for you that you found support and comfort in your group. It makes me feel at least a little better that the materials do not pressure you towards reconciliation.

        I am sorry to hear that the leader turned away from you after meeting your husband. That had to hurt. They never seem to stop meddling in our lives. Nor, give us the space we need to reestablish our lives away from them.

    • BeginHealing, we have a tag for Divorce Care. I think there are several posts with that tag. We have mixed feelings about that program, but probably more negative than positive. It seems to depend quite a bit on the quality of the people leading the local program and how much they understand domestic abuse.

      • BeginHealing

        Thank you. I will contact the leaders and ask some questions tomorrow. Any suggestions what I should ask?

  6. Ask them their position on divorce for abuse. Probe to see if they really think it is available to the victim with no guilt incurred for the victim whatsoever, or if they think it’s allowed but would need to be confessed as sin and forgiven.

    Ask them how they define domestic abuse. If they only mention physical violence, they don’t get it. And if they start talking about child abuse and don’t give sufficient attention to spousal abuse, they don’t get it.

    Ask them what policies and approaches they have to prioritize the safety of victims of domestic abuse.

    Ask them how they screen participants for whether someone might be a perpetrator of domestic abuse, and, if they suspect a participant is a perp, what they DO about that and what policies they have to protect the other participants from the potential dangers of being in proximity to a perpetrator.

    Also, ask them how they protect the ex-spouse (the victim) of a perpetrator, particularly if the ex-spouse is a associated with that church or with some of the participants in the Divorce Care group. How do the leaders guard against the perp enlisting allies in the church network/Divorce Care network so he can sow suspicions about his ex’s character and paint himself as the righteous one in the breakup?

    • BeginHealing

      Thank you Barbra. I am going to reach out to them today. I am hopeful. This community is a blessing but I really need to find people to interact with. The isolation I am feeling is not healthy. I will keep this list of questions in hand when I call. ❤

  7. HisEzer

    Thank you so much for this reminder… It is one I cling to regularly. We all wish our suffering could end and the truth could be made known about our abusers while we still live… I think one of the hardest elements of being a Christian in this situation is accepting that the truth may not be made known in this life… My prayer, then, is that we not crumble or lose character as our enemies (yes, plural enemies, for many of us have accumulated more than just one as we have sought help from church leadership only to discover they are just as unkind, entitled, and prideful as our spouse) desire but that we stay strong and maintain the heart of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, knowing at least some of us *will* experience dramatic deliverance and vindication. But for those of us who do not… we know God, whose thoughts and ways are higher than ours, will in time make sense of it all as to why He does not immediately expose ALL our abusers for who they are…

  8. Psalm 37

    Lately, reading passages like these just puts salt in my wounds. Things are getting so much worse with the abuser getting away with his evil, criminal plans to keep me impoverished, even though I’ve been divorced almost 4 years. I know this doesn’t sound very Christian, but I get absolutely no comfort from hearing that people like him will get his someday at the final judgment. How does that help me now when I have less than $40 in my bank account sand two kids who need to be fed?

  9. Annie

    Here are more verses from Psalms:

    “Grant not, O Lord, the desires of the wicked, do not further their evil plot, or they will be exalted!” Ps 140:8

    “I know that the LORD will maintain the cause of the afflicted, and will execute justice for the needy.” Ps 140:12

    “‘For the oppression of the poor, for the sighing of the needy, now I will arise,’ says the Lord, ‘I will set him in the safety for which he yearns.'” Ps 12:5

    “Oh let the wickedness of the wicked come to an end, but establish the just.” Ps 7:9

  10. Laurie

    “My abuser seems to win every time
    People believe him, not me
    He has treated me with violence, yet he prospers and I have nothing
    Maybe everything really is my fault, just like so many people are saying”

    Over this last weekend, God finished a song in me that He started about a week ago. One of the lines came from my 18 year old son, “It’s easier to avoid a road, than to get off of a wrong one.” But I found it quite interesting that your post here chimes in with this portion of the song God gave me:

    “Fret not thyself over wicked ones just because they seem to prosper.
    Uncertain riches are not the proof of one who does His will.”

    The song is called, “Beginnings” and the premise is that, although this time of ending feels like death, this death is really just a new beginning. I hear a whole orchestra in my head with this song, maybe someday I can get it put to a reproducible media.

    • I hear a whole orchestra in my head with this song,

      Wow!

      • Laurie

        Yeah, now I know how Beethoven felt. 🙂

Leave a comment. It's ok to use a made up name (e.g Anon37). For safety tips read 'New Users Info' (top menu). Tick the box if you want to be notified of new comments.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: